(Closed) We’re over our guest list limit.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2227 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think you’ve made the right decision in sending invites to all people you sent STD’s to. If that means you’ll have to go for the buffet, I think you’re just going to have to cut your losses & keep it classy.

As for people who you did not send Save-The-Date Cards to & are inviting themselves to your wedding: Fuck ’em (excuse me!!). You’re already over capacity… there’s no space. That’s all they need to know.


Post # 4
7779 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Oh man, I am so sorry. Guest lists and seating charts are the worst.

If it makes you feel any better, you really might be surprised by who actually comes. We had some people that we absolutely thought were coming that ended up sending us regrets. We sent out 80 invites and had 63 people come.

Good luck! As bad as it sounds, I’ll keep my fingers crossed that some people don’t want to come. lol

Post # 5
1811 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

@Pinksapphire:  I am over too (and also dealing with rude people that I barely know demanding invites).  I know that it sounds horrible, but I am really hoping that those extra 20 people rsvp no.  The only reason that I invited them is so I didn’t hurt anyone’s feelings, and they are family whether we are close or not.  I just have this sinking feeling that they will all come, and bring friends or something!  Don’t you love how your small, intimate affair (our top # was 75) turns into a circus?  Good luck!  If you find a polite way to deter people PLEASE let me know!

Post # 6
2854 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

If it makes you feel better, we had two declines and a couple of maybes (one from my brother! But that’s a long and complicated story and not his fault) before we even sent the invites. There’s still time, things might come up. 


Post # 7
2104 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

We’re just on the verge of sending out Save-The-Date Cards so I have no personal experience, but I’ve read on here about having people RSVP yes and still not show up the day of.  I hope it works out for you!  We’re cutting it close as well!

Post # 8
5984 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 1999

Try not to worry so much.  I’m sure a handful of people (usually 5-10%) that replied yes will end up not coming.  I would probably consider going to a buffet either way to save yourselves money.

Post # 9
5670 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

Having only 60 out of the 73 guests RSVP yes doesn’t sound too extreme. That is an 82% acceptance rate and you could easily be under that. I would send invites to everyone that received a STD but maybe ask for the replies as soon as possible so you will know how many people you are having a few months prior to the wedding and can adjust accordingly if needed.

Post # 10
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

We booked our venue (with a max seating of 250) and then made our guest list. (BAD IDEA!!) We ended up at least 30 over what we wanted to attend. 90% of those people were distant distant relatives, plus ones, kids, etc. Just by cutting those out, we were able to squeeze the list down to 229! I recommend sitting down with your Fiance, his parents, your parents and figuring out what you can do to fit everyone. 🙂

Post # 13
4193 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

You’re right-unless you’ve had a failing out with someone, not sending an invite when you sent a STD will cause drama! Send your invites out early, with a far enough RSVP date, that you can do a B list, or work with your venue to do the buffet. And those “friends” who demand an invite- you can politely say that you’ll be lucky if your venue holds all the family members you’re inviting- maybe they’ll get the hint?

Post # 14
2416 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I certainly agree that you need to send invites to people who received Save-The-Date Cards…yikes this is a sticky situation…I bet it will all work out in the end!

Post # 15
3799 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

sigh. I am going through something similar. I am regretting a small wedding and wishing we picked a bigger venue for fear of this exact thing.

I really believe that when you send out an STD, that person is expecting an invitation. I cant imagine not sending an invite to someone that got an STD unless it was an unusual circumstance.

Why not send out the invitations earlier than you were planning so you can get the RSVP’s and then see if you have to worry? Since the wedding is in July, that would buy you a little extra time to see if you can squeeze everyone in.

Post # 16
2786 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Def don’t take FMIL’s advice…I feel like that sets you up for some seriously awkward encounters later on. Could you cut plus ones for people? Would that help the numbers at all? Or kids?

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