Post # 1
My 28th birthday is this weekend. Unfortunately, no big plans. Everyone is shacked up with lives of their own, so it’s just going to be lunch on Sunday.
I saw a post earlier today about this same topic, and it was so relatable. So, this is my first post.
I’ve gone on dates here and there, but no prospects. They seem to always make me feel worse and more aware that I’m single. I’ve been in one serious relationship that lasted 5 years. It ended a year and a half ago. After the crying stopped after 6 months, I spent the last year enjoying my newly single life, growing my career, losing weight, starting on my Master’s, and buying my own place. I just did everything I possibly could to better myself, and it really helped me move on with my life. I’m now at a point in my life where I feel settled, which is great. However, because nothing new is happening, I’m finding myself to be very fixated on the fact that I haven’t found someone, and I feel like damaged goods. I was fine until about a month ago when I realized I was the last single friend. I do spend a lot of weekends alone. I’m one who likes to be alone sometimes, but not for days at a time.
I realize I’m being silly in thinking I’ll never meet someone again, but in the meantime, any advice? I’m trying not to think about my age or the fact that I’m single and just live my life. If it happens, it happens. A guy I went on a date with once said to me that I don’t need to do what everyone else is doing, and I always think back to that. I always had in my mind that I’d be married with kids by 25.
Hoping it’s just the weather that has me feeling like this. Were you a little older when you met your significant other? What did you do to pass the time when everyone else was shacked up?
Post # 2
Most people aren’t married with kids by 25. I think the average age for a woman in the US to get married is 27 so being single at 28 isn’t really outside the norm. I’m 27 and still have plenty of single friends. Maybe you need to find some new friend groups with more single people.
Post # 3
Yes, I met my husband when I was 30 and he was almost 26.
Half my friends were already married with kids and half were/still are single. I live in the NYC area so people tend to get married a little later in life here.
Before I met my husband I went through a series of nasty breakups. I finally focused on myself, my career, strengthening my friendships and it sounds cliche but once I started getting my shit together, I met someone that I could have a healthy relationship with.
You do not need to do what everyone else is doing. Keep your heart and mind open and things will fall into place.
Post # 4
I was 3 weeks shy of turning 36 when I had my first date with Darling Husband. We’ve now been married almost 5 years and have 2 beautiful kids (born when I was 39 and 41!!). Life doesn’t end at 30. In fact, my 40’s have been the best decade yet!!
Post # 5
partyof2 : Thank you for the reminder! I certainly didn’t have my crap together when I was younger, which made relationships that much more difficult.
Post # 6
I met Darling Husband 2 months before I turned 28. I was always an awkward turtle and focused on my school and work, so it was meant to be that I didn’t meet my partner until then. I loved my single days and freedom, and now I get to love being married and having a baby pretty soon. It’s all good.
Post # 7
I began dating Fiance when I was 35, but I get you on everyone around you pairing off. It didn’t really bother me until I turned 35 and my bio clock was ticking. So I asked out my fiance and the die was cast.
Maybe find some fun hobbies you enjoy and that get you out having fun and meeting people. I didn’t focus on being the single one in my social group, I focused on doing my own thing and enjoying life.
Post # 8
I had just turned 30 a few months before I met my Fiance. I was in a really good place in my life. I’d lost weight, gotten super fit, was very active, involved in a lot of activities, had a strong support group, and I was emotionally healthy. I’d done a lot of work on myself. I also had a great job with plenty of opportunities. I honestly think if I hadn’t been where I was in my life at that time, I wouldn’t have met him. I wouldn’t have been open to the opportunity. I’m 35 now and about to have our second child. There’s plenty of time for you to meet the right guy!
Post # 9
Hugs – I totally understand how you feel. It’s lonely when everyone around you is coupled up! I met my SO when I was 30. I’m not a super social girl but I did keep myself occupied with working out, cooking, art class, shopping, and hanging with the bestie. I had to stay busy so I wouldn’t think about my single situation. If I hadn’t had those hobbies I wouldn’t have met my SO. Take heart; keep your head up and pay attention – SO may show up when and where you least expect it!
Post # 10
I was married in my early 20s, despite the fact he was a very good person and I was in love he turned out not to be the right person for me to be married to and caused a lot of misery and upset (even being married I felt extremely lonely). I met my now boyfriend at age 30/31 and we are very much in love and he truly is the man of my dreams and makes me feel deeply loved. I know how it feels to be alone and think you will never find someone who will love you again, meeting Wrong guy after wrong guy it really is emotionally draining. But soooo many people meet their soulmates later in life. Getting married at a younger age is not necessarily a good thing, there is a better chance that you and your partner will grow apart as you mature and it becomes really stressful and complicated when children are involved. I personally know people who have met the loves of their lives in their 30s-50s and when you see them together it’s just so beautiful knowing that they finally found the person they were meant to be with.
Post # 11
We met at 30. We have both had thoughts of “wow, I wish we had met years ago, so much time wasted on terrible relationships.” But we both know that truthfully, we were both selfish immature completely different individuals in our younger years and we would not have given each other a second glance. Timing was perfect for us after all.
Post # 12
I met my fiancé when I was 29. It is by no means hopeless.
Get out and go to places where here you will meet people who you would want to be with. Actively seek a partner.
Post # 13
emily013 : Yes, I was single for 2 years before I met him, after ending a 5 year relationship, but I met my now Fiance aged 31. We were together 14 months when he popped the question and we will be getting married 2 days before my 34th birthday. It took a while but I am beyond thrilled my life worked out this way. Funnily enough I saw on FB yesterday my ex (5yr relationship) got engaged and I was not bothered one little bit. We broke up because he didn’t want to get married and I just thought thank god we broke up because I wouldn’t have found my Fiance who is literally 1000% better in every way.
Post # 14
emily013 : don’t despair! I remember leaving my first long term relationship at 25 and feeling as old as the hills. It really makes me chuckle now that I was so tough on myself! At 27 I met my ex-husband- we were together until I was 33…oops single again. This time I was genuinely worried as I have fertility issues and I felt that I had no time to meet someone else. I’m now 35 and 5 weeks pregnant to the love of my life. Life is an adventure and you never know what is around the corner. Keep your heart and mind open and life has a funny way of looking out for you.
Post # 15
We’ve known one another for years but we began dating at 29.