Were you a little older when you met your significant other?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 31
Member
2014 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I started seeing my Fiance when I was 28. We get married right after my 32 birthday. I see nothing wrong with this. 

Post # 32
Member
676 posts
Busy bee

I met my SO when I was probably 14. Was in the same full time extra curricular activity as he was for 3-4 years and barely spoke a word to him that whole time. Dated a whole lotta losers for a long long time. Long term and short term. I was thoroughly done with men…

I really “met” him again though almost ten years later at 27 (just turned 29 last month). I am assuming we will be engaged, married, and starting a family this year. 

To pass the time I bought a house… fixed it up… worked on my health/weight. Went out with my married and non married friends. 

Post # 33
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

emily013 :  I’m 31 and met my partner when I was 29 we’re planning on getting engaged very soon and have shot out the date of 2019 for our wedding (I’m starting school, we want to move, etc).

I don’t envy younger people who get married.

In my op, I’d rather have done all the things that you have done (BRAVO by the way!) and know what I want in life and be ready for the best partner I deserve then to be with someone who I’m settling for. I’d rather be mature, responsible, have my own place, etc etc (like you have!). 

Keep being awesome and good luck to you!

Post # 34
Member
876 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

emily013 :  I didn’t meet my husband until I was 34! I had just been on a family holiday with my parents, both my brothers and their wives and a baby nephew. I had to endure 2 weeks of happy couples and cooing over baby and I thought I would go mad. 

I used to date all the time and nothing ever went anywhere and so I was absolutely desolate by the end of that holiday. I was convinced I was never going to find anyone etc etc. 

I had got a date planned the day after we got back from holiday but by that time was so disillusioned I didn’t have any hope. I met him…he seemed really sweet and BOOM 2 and a half years later he’s my husband!!!

Don’t beat yourself up…just keep open minded…keep yourself getting out and meeting new people and it will happen. Have faith xx

Post # 36
Member
2217 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise

I met FH about a month before I turned 39. I was married really young and divorced by 23. I spent a lot of years being the only “single” friend and I know how much it sucks. 

Don’t give up! You’ve got lots of great years in front of you. 

Post # 37
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I was in a very similar situation. I broke up with my ex after being together for 4 years, and went on dates and had a couple short-term relationships. I focused on myself and got my Masters and started on my Ph.D. 

After I hit 30 I was starting to lose hope on ever finding the right person, because when I was younger I had always assumed I’d get married by 24…and then by 28…and then at least before 30! I am now 31 and will be getting married this July!

Honestly, I’m actually really relieved that I didn’t get married young because I had some of the best times in my life with friends during my late 20s! I delved into my interests, hobbies, and traveled to Europe (twice!). Live concerts, exhibits, musicals, summer festivals.. moments that will stay with me forever. I’m really glad that I got to experience these things, because although I’m sure I will want to experience things with my husband-to-be, I’m glad I got to experience things with my friends too. I realize now that it won’t be easy for me to ever get to do this in such a carefree way once I’m married (shared finances, bigger responsibilities, etc).

Don’t let single-status get you down! It’s true when they say it’s what you make out of it! You can make some of the best memories in your life! Really branch out during your Masters and get to know new people. I went to summer festivals with one friend and concerts with another. Different people have different hobbies and interests, so if one group of friends aren’t interested DONT let that stop you! 

I also did a good bit of reading regarding relationships that really helped me to grow as a person. Relationships are a two-way street so I knew that when I broke up with my ex after 4 years that I could also improve as well. Here are some of my top recommendations:

Is He Mr. Right?: Everything You Need To Know Before You Commit by Mira Kirshenbaum. This book really helped me change the way I approached dating with solid advice rather than the “OOOH if a guy does this it must mean he’s interested” fluff. Mira Kirshenbaum also has a book called When Good People Have Affairs that also gave me a deeper understanding of relationships. So many people have affairs these days (especially emotional affairs) that I wanted to understand it from the inside-out and learn how to prevent this scenario in the future.   

The 5 Love Languages and The 4 Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman. I’m sure you’ve heard of the love languages by now, but if you haven’t, it’s practically a classic. 

Committed by Elizabeth Gilbert. If you haven’t read Eat, Pray, Love I recommend the audiobook version (read by the author). Her next book Committed actually deals with relationship dynamics and the role of marriage in different cultures.

 

Some other solid recommendations:

Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari – Modern relationships (including online dating) in a humorous yet profound way. A good read when you’re frustrated with online dating or texting.

30 Lessons for Living: Tried and True Advice from the Wisest Americans by Karl Pillemer – The author interviewed a thousand people for some of the best life lessons to be shared

Brene Brown – Although she has some good books, her TED Talk and interviews (on youtube) were a lot more powerful for me (also her books have some overlap). Her talks literally saved my self-esteem and changed the way I viewed my relationships with people overall in general! 

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