(Closed) Were you disappointed by your RSVPs? (or lack thereof?)

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Were you disappointed by the number of your RSVP responses?
    No, I was happy with the number of guests that responded! : (8 votes)
    31 %
    Yes, I wish more people had been able to come to the wedding. : (16 votes)
    62 %
    Yes, I wish that less people had RSVP'ed "yes" to the wedding. : (2 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4275 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    You can expect alittle over 10% of the people you invited to say no.

    Most people will wait until the last minute or forget to send out their rsvp. Then you will have people a couple days before saying they  won’t be able to make it after all. 

    Don’t worry about it too much. This happened to me. I also spotted a few random people that I did not invite at my wedding too….lol… oh well….

    For me the people that said no, were people that I pretty much figured would. It worked in my favor as I was able to update the caterer and get rid of some tables. It ended up working out alot better.

    Post # 4
    Member
    1064 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    62% of our people rsvped yes. It hurts, a lot.

    Post # 5
    Member
    1562 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    47% of my guest list said yes.  It hurts tremendously.

    Post # 6
    Member
    1697 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    100 ppl is a lot of people! It seems small compared to 300 yes but that has GOT to give you a bigger budget to have other cool stuff too right? I wanted to invite 250 ( Fiance wanted 300)  but I panicked and only invited 230. We are at 210. Of the no’s 6 of my CLOSEST cousins who I see on a DAILY basis aren’t coming to the ceremony or reception. I’m not gonna lie, it stung at first but I quickly got over it I am SOO STRESSED!

    Post # 7
    Member
    2856 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We sent out invitations out in January, for a September wedding, with an RSVP deadline of the last day of April. It’s destination so every single person coming would have to make plans in advance with regards to time, money, and vacation bookings at work. We sent out 60 invitations, to 110 people. I only got around 27 RSVP’s back. Mostly I was upset because I addressed and stamped all the RSVP envelopes so that all people had to do was check a box and drop it in the mail (I even wrote their names on them!). I had to call all the people we never heard from, and some still haven’t responded despite calls, messages, and facebook-messaging them. So I just took those people off the guestlist.

    As far as people coming or not coming, well, our numbers are actually a little higher than expected with 71 total persons coming (including Fiance and I). I was expecting 40-50. Now, some of those not attending are people I was SURE were coming. Like, how is it possible that my FAVORITE UNCLE isn’t coming? How is it possible my fave cousin isn’t coming? Why isn’t Aunt Patti coming? And then there are the people who are coming (traveling by car for 15 hours and paying for accomodation) that I was sure would NOT come, like family friends who are actually staying at the resort the full 3 days we’re there!

    It’s really weird. You never know what your wedding means to people until you ask via invitation. Some people will have exigent circumstances that do not allow them to attend your wedding, and it’s not really a matter of whether they WANT to or not. The main thing I took away is this: On that day I will marry the man of my dreams, and my best friend. My parents will be there, so will his. Everyone else is just a bonus guest. The people who come you’ll be flattered by. The people who don’t come will still be thinking about you on the day, even if they aren’t there in person. And what I have heard from every person I’ve asked is: You are so surrounded by love on that day, from every single angle, that you do not notice those who AREN’T there. You don’t have room in your head or your heart to really miss them. You might look back and think “Oh, it would have been nice if Fred came”. But it won’t take anything away from your memories of that day that he DIDN’T come.

    I totally understand why you’re upset though….my fave uncle who isn’t coming didn’t even TELL me he’s not coming. He dodged my calls and emails after not RSVP-ing, and then when my dad finally got hold of him and asked he said they aren’t coming. My dad told him to call and tell me himself….and I still  haven’t heard anything a month later. It stung a little at first, but then I got over it, so overwhelmed by the fact that so many will still be with us on that day. Even if you only have 100 there, it’s still quite a crowd, and it’s less hands to shake and thank for coming!

    Post # 8
    Member
    2750 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am happy with my number, but I was disappointed in the number of actually RSVP cards returned… I paid for those unused stamps!!!!

    Invited 30, 24 attending as predicted.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1006 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We ended up with about 65 people out of 130 invites. We even had 2 people back out last minute (morning of the wedding) and 3 no shows! I was disappointed – especially since we had already paid for those people but in the end it felt like a good number and we were able to afford the more expensive menu. Everyone raved about the food so I’m happy that we could do that.

    It was a destination wedding so a 50% accept rate is typical I guess but it was still within driving distance to many people.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1659 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I don’t know 410 people that I would expect to come to my wedding! I wanted 100, but the invite list is close to 200 now, with invites going out next week.

    Post # 11
    Member
    3 posts
    Wannabee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Yeah I invited about 150, expected 130 to attend, got 85. 85!! Ah, well. One of my friends from college lives in another state and is not coming… I know it’s far away but I just feel that if you can’t be there for my wedding then you’re not there for me at all…total bummer. Oh well!

    Post # 12
    Member
    94 posts
    Worker bee

    We started out thinking ours would be a very small wedding – about 30 guests (our budget is small and a lot of it is D.I.Y stuff, bridesmaid doing hair, ebay dresses, friends helping out etc) but the guest list grew and grew. We ended up inviting 95 people (45 invites) So far, with less than a month before RSVP deadline we have had 11 replies – all saying yes.

       I don’t have any worries if people are busy and can’t attend. I guess it will hurt me if they don’t respond at all. No shows on the day I consider to be very rude especially as it is cost that wasn’t needed. 

         

     

         

    Post # 13
    Member
    646 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I was disappointed in the amount of people (family and close friends) who asked to be invited, were invited, but then last minute said they couldn’t come. We could have invited more people that I know would have came. Someone even had the nerve to tell me they couldn’t go on Facebook about 4 days before our wedding, even though they had RSVP’d yes! Really, you can’t pick up the phone to tell me that?! I was so annoyed and frustrated, but in the end our day was fabulous.

    Post # 14
    Member
    2281 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We had a pretty large number of No’s, nearly 40%. It hurt my feelings quite a bit at first, but now I’ve adjusted to the idea – Fiance said it was fine with him to save money, and as usual, his relaxed attitude eventually unwound me from my emotional tornado. 

    But also, I realized I was focusing on the people who weren’t coming (so many of whom truly could not make it – it’s not like they didn’t care), rather than focusing on the people who were going to tremendous trouble to be there. Once I started thinking less about the friend who’ll be out of the country or the friend who had to be in someone else’s wedding the same day, and started thinking more about the friends who are travelling all night to get here or the one who’s coming to my wedding instead of his 10 year high school reunion, I felt much better. 

    Post # 15
    Member
    1629 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Yes. I was tremendously hurt for a while about people not responding or not coming. For Fiance it was way worse because a huge amount of it was his family members….local people who just aren’t coming, didn’t write a note on the RSVP card, didn’t wish him well at all in any form, and generally have let him down on many fronts (not just wedding related). 

    Post # 16
    Member
    2106 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    1. You’re still 1 week from the RSVP deadline.  A lot of people are just plain slackers/lazy/rude when it comes to returning RSVPs.  1-2 days after the RSVP deadline (if you used first class stamps), it’s time to start calling people/fretting.
    2. 410 people is a big wedding. 300 people is a big wedding. 150 people is a big wedding.  I don’t understand how you can be very very close to that many people without sacrificing some closeness. 
    3. Is your wedding the same day/weekend as any other events? 

    I have a feeling that I’m not going to be disappointed by the number of RSVPs so much as I am going to be annoyed tracking people down who ‘forget’ to RSVP.  We have 30% RSVPed so far and we’re 2 months from the RSVP by date, but I know about 5 people who aren’t going to RSVP until I call them. So obnoxious.

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