(Closed) Were you disappointed by your RSVPs? (or lack thereof?)

posted 10 years ago in Emotional
  • poll: Were you disappointed by the number of your RSVP responses?

    No, I was happy with the number of guests that responded!

    Yes, I wish more people had been able to come to the wedding.

    Yes, I wish that less people had RSVP'ed "yes" to the wedding.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    1169 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Also, after I realized how many people I had thought WOULD come that aren’t, I did get some comfort from seeing the people who I didn’t expect who are making the effort, the people who are coming despite travel and expenses, and the lovely few people who have stayed super excited for me even when I wanted to cry.

    About a week ago, aka a week before the RSVP deadline, we had so many declines that my mother actually contacted some people who she originally cut from the guestlist and told them how much she really felt badly and had wanted them there. All 8 of those people immediately responded and said they were thrilled to be invited and are all coming to the wedding with nothing but joy. Sometimes people surprise you by letting you down, and sometimes they surprise you with how much love they have.

    Post # 18
    Member
    2163 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We had 97 of 146 invited.

    I was actually pretty stoked though. I don’t feel that their lack of attendance was any type of commentary on how they felt about us. But all of our must have guests were there. We also invited a lot of out of country people who we sort of expected wouldn’t be able to make it.

    I reveled in the reduced catering costs, and the fact it would be a more intimate wedding.

    Post # 19
    Member
    7960 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: April 2012

    you still have another week for rsvp’s.  i know a lot of them come in last minute.  do yourself a favour.  start calling non-responsive guests right away.  with a huge guest list like yours, it may take a while to complete such a task.

    i think average declines run around 10%+.  probably higher for oot or overseas guests.  don’t take it personally.   it’s your day.  the only person you and your husband need to show up is the minister.

    Post # 20
    Member
    284 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Pretty much all of my family and parents’ friends RSVP-ed yes, but I was really disappointed with the number of my good friends who couldn’t make it (especially because we were holding our wedding close to where the parents of everyone who’d need to come from out of lives, so they could’ve just made it their summer trip home to visit).  The most hurtful though, were the people who just never responded, even when we texted and called.  There were like 5 different couples (we were friends with both of the people in the couple) who couldn’t even be bothered to text back.  It would’ve been much less of a big deal if they’d just have told us that they couldn’t make it…and it made me think twice about whether I wanted to go to the trouble to try to stay in touch anymore. 

    Having said that there were several of my friends who traveled to Kansas from places like D.C. and Boise just to see us…that really made me feel special and I can’t really explain how much that meant to me to have them there to support us.

    Post # 21
    Member
    265 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m disappointed by our RSVPs as well. Our families RSVPed first. FI’s friends called him the day after the deadline to say they would show up. And now I’m left contacting my friends to find out if they’ll be attending. I honestly didn’t think it would be a big deal to ask people to be a part of such an important day for us. With our friends taking forever to let us know, it is pretty hurtful.

    Post # 22
    Member
    629 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m mailing out our invitations tomorrow or the next day and I’m worried about this too. We’re getting married in the Bahamas in July with just a few close people total 8 including us) But we planned on having an “at home” party in August which we escalated from a backyard deal to a venue, then needed full-service catering, & now we’re hiring a DJ. All for an expected 50 people. I’m inviting about 60 total, knowing for sure some out of state and elderly people won’t be able to come. However, I’m really worried that we’ll be paying this large amount of money for maybe 25 people and that amount could have come for a backyard party with far less expense. I guess there’s no way of knowing in advance.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1564 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I had a Destination Wedding, and I got only one SINGLE official RSVP in writing back ON the deadline date…ONE out of 85 invitations. I didn’t have response cards, but I did ask people to RSVP by email or phone. 

    Yes, I feel a little bumbed not any of those people could be bothered to officially RSVP. I did have about 20 people RSVP verbally, kinda trickled in and said “hey we’re going” in passing. 

    I’m now planning a hometown reception and this time I do have response cards and I did pay postage for all of them. I sent them out this week and I already have one back..so maybe I will actually get responses this time. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    221 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2012

    My best friend is having a intimate but fancy wedding. Well she ended up getting everyones RSVP’s in a wk past dead line. Well now, her wedding is tomorrow and she has 6 people that are not coming now :-/

    She is very upset and hurt about this. She mailed her invites ou end of March so it wasn’t a surprise.

    I’m sorry so many people are letting you down 🙁

    I don’t think people realize sometimes how much it can hurt the couple. Hopefully this week brings many RSVPs!

    Post # 26
    Member
    50 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    My RSVP deadline was last week and I’m still waiting for quite a few of them.

    Post # 27
    Member
    413 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We did an A/B list and ended up inviting around 200 total. 106 are attending. The part that hurts most is that my extended family all came to my sister’s wedding (10 years ago!) and yet none but my grandparents and aunt are attending. The 98 no’s are mostly from my family, and I know I shouldn’t compare to my sister’s wedding, but I am and it sucks. Saving about $2000 though – more for the honeymoon!

    Post # 28
    Member
    331 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    We have been disappointed by the number of RSVP responses as well.  We invited 196 and will have about half that with about 110. There were a lot of friends and family that said no that we were very disppointed about and feeling a little down.  The positive side is that we will spend less money and can celebrae with our friends and family that truely want to be there.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1617 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I am thinking about this but in a good way for me.  I budgeted for 50 and in order to get 150 (which is what I am hoping for), I am inviting over 200 guests.  About 50 are oot and won’t come.  But I do hope I get at least my 150.  I already cut my list because I was told to only invite people I can host, but I didn’t want to just invite 150 and then have like 70 or so guests (the space would look so empty).  

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