Post # 17
Also, after I realized how many people I had thought WOULD come that aren’t, I did get some comfort from seeing the people who I didn’t expect who are making the effort, the people who are coming despite travel and expenses, and the lovely few people who have stayed super excited for me even when I wanted to cry.
About a week ago, aka a week before the RSVP deadline, we had so many declines that my mother actually contacted some people who she originally cut from the guestlist and told them how much she really felt badly and had wanted them there. All 8 of those people immediately responded and said they were thrilled to be invited and are all coming to the wedding with nothing but joy. Sometimes people surprise you by letting you down, and sometimes they surprise you with how much love they have.
Post # 18
We had 97 of 146 invited.
I was actually pretty stoked though. I don’t feel that their lack of attendance was any type of commentary on how they felt about us. But all of our must have guests were there. We also invited a lot of out of country people who we sort of expected wouldn’t be able to make it.
I reveled in the reduced catering costs, and the fact it would be a more intimate wedding.
Post # 19
you still have another week for rsvp’s. i know a lot of them come in last minute. do yourself a favour. start calling non-responsive guests right away. with a huge guest list like yours, it may take a while to complete such a task.
i think average declines run around 10%+. probably higher for oot or overseas guests. don’t take it personally. it’s your day. the only person you and your husband need to show up is the minister.
Post # 20
Pretty much all of my family and parents’ friends RSVP-ed yes, but I was really disappointed with the number of my good friends who couldn’t make it (especially because we were holding our wedding close to where the parents of everyone who’d need to come from out of lives, so they could’ve just made it their summer trip home to visit). The most hurtful though, were the people who just never responded, even when we texted and called. There were like 5 different couples (we were friends with both of the people in the couple) who couldn’t even be bothered to text back. It would’ve been much less of a big deal if they’d just have told us that they couldn’t make it…and it made me think twice about whether I wanted to go to the trouble to try to stay in touch anymore.
Having said that there were several of my friends who traveled to Kansas from places like D.C. and Boise just to see us…that really made me feel special and I can’t really explain how much that meant to me to have them there to support us.
Post # 21
I’m disappointed by our RSVPs as well. Our families RSVPed first. FI’s friends called him the day after the deadline to say they would show up. And now I’m left contacting my friends to find out if they’ll be attending. I honestly didn’t think it would be a big deal to ask people to be a part of such an important day for us. With our friends taking forever to let us know, it is pretty hurtful.
Post # 22
I’m mailing out our invitations tomorrow or the next day and I’m worried about this too. We’re getting married in the Bahamas in July with just a few close people total 8 including us) But we planned on having an “at home” party in August which we escalated from a backyard deal to a venue, then needed full-service catering, & now we’re hiring a DJ. All for an expected 50 people. I’m inviting about 60 total, knowing for sure some out of state and elderly people won’t be able to come. However, I’m really worried that we’ll be paying this large amount of money for maybe 25 people and that amount could have come for a backyard party with far less expense. I guess there’s no way of knowing in advance.
Post # 23
With less than a week to go, 56% of the guest list has responded. The guest numbers are creeping closer to 175 now. Thanks for all of the lovely advice above. 🙂
I still know of quite a few people who have not responded but will likely be coming. On the flip side, I know of many people who have not responded and will NOT likely be coming!
Post # 24
I had a Destination Wedding, and I got only one SINGLE official RSVP in writing back ON the deadline date…ONE out of 85 invitations. I didn’t have response cards, but I did ask people to RSVP by email or phone.
Yes, I feel a little bumbed not any of those people could be bothered to officially RSVP. I did have about 20 people RSVP verbally, kinda trickled in and said “hey we’re going” in passing.
I’m now planning a hometown reception and this time I do have response cards and I did pay postage for all of them. I sent them out this week and I already have one back..so maybe I will actually get responses this time.
Post # 25
My best friend is having a intimate but fancy wedding. Well she ended up getting everyones RSVP’s in a wk past dead line. Well now, her wedding is tomorrow and she has 6 people that are not coming now :-/
She is very upset and hurt about this. She mailed her invites ou end of March so it wasn’t a surprise.
I’m sorry so many people are letting you down 🙁
I don’t think people realize sometimes how much it can hurt the couple. Hopefully this week brings many RSVPs!
Post # 26
My RSVP deadline was last week and I’m still waiting for quite a few of them.
Post # 27
We did an A/B list and ended up inviting around 200 total. 106 are attending. The part that hurts most is that my extended family all came to my sister’s wedding (10 years ago!) and yet none but my grandparents and aunt are attending. The 98 no’s are mostly from my family, and I know I shouldn’t compare to my sister’s wedding, but I am and it sucks. Saving about $2000 though – more for the honeymoon!
Post # 28
We have been disappointed by the number of RSVP responses as well. We invited 196 and will have about half that with about 110. There were a lot of friends and family that said no that we were very disppointed about and feeling a little down. The positive side is that we will spend less money and can celebrae with our friends and family that truely want to be there.
Post # 29
The deadline has passed!
A grand total of 70% of those invited rsvp’d. We have approximately 200 yes rsvps, 100 no rsvps, and approximately 100 people to track down.
I did contact a few people today who hadn’t responded but I knew were involved in the wedding (such as my sister/MOH and some groomsmen). They are coming of course, but probably just assumed they did not need to turn in their rsvp card.
Post # 30
I am thinking about this but in a good way for me. I budgeted for 50 and in order to get 150 (which is what I am hoping for), I am inviting over 200 guests. About 50 are oot and won’t come. But I do hope I get at least my 150. I already cut my list because I was told to only invite people I can host, but I didn’t want to just invite 150 and then have like 70 or so guests (the space would look so empty).
Post # 31
@bridalprincess: Exactly. The church I am getting married in is huge and seats something like 500 people. I know people who attend the church but did not get married there because the church looks empty with fewer than 200 guests.