(Closed) Were you disappointed with your proposal? Were other people?

posted 12 years ago in Proposals
Post # 47
42 posts
  • Wedding: April 2010

I really hated mine.  I know that’s blunt and to the point, but that’s the kind of day I’m having so I don’t feel like being shy or coy or being cutesy by beating around the bush.  It was so not me, and just so… I don’t know… disappointing.  The only reason I am going off on this now is because it’s 3 months after our wedding and I STILL think about it… It’s one of those things you cant change (which drives me wild being the self-admitted control freak that I am.)  Well, first of all, we were just at home hanging out, watching TV and having a few cocktails on a Friday night.  Nothing out of the norm for us as this is a typical Fri night (he doesn’t like to go out because of the risk of drinking and driving and plus we are always trying to save $… etc… so it was quite a typcial Fri night for us).   He put the ring that I picked out around our dog’s collar and called her to us.  We were literally both sitting on the couch.  He never got down on one knee, no candles, flowers, fireworks shooting out of my butt, NOTHING, lol (ok the fireworks out of my butt is probably a little drastic, but you get the idea).  He literally turned to me and asked if I’d be his wife.  I was furious, which I know is horrible, but of course I said yes… BUT, it didn’t take long until he asked why I was acting weird.  I waited for 5 years while people asked me when it was going to happen while over-the-top-cause-that’s-the-kind-of-girl-I-am visions of fantabulous proposals danced in my head.  I wanted to be proposed to in a hot air balloon, on top of the eiffel tower, with a creative scavenger hunt, or on a randomly planned trip/vacation that I knew nothing about until I got home and saw my packed suitcase…. ETC…. Anything, oh anything, but a proposal during which I wasnt sure if he was asking me to marry him or if he was passing me the doritos.  Yes, I have told him that during post-proposal meltdowns: “I wasn’t sure if you were proposing or passing the Doritos… that’s how anticlimatic it was!”  I know that sounds horrible, but I’m a lot to handle, and this is not news to him since we’ve been together for 5 yrs (lived together for 3….)

Yeah, I am trying to get over it by not thinking about it.  Haven’t thought about it in months.  Apparently my pissed-offness has been repressed, and therefore, has resulted in this novel of a post.  Sorry yall and please don’t think I am a biat*h.  Promise I’m a sweet girl… Just one, perhaps with unrealistically high expectations.  I think I would have been fine for it to be low key… if a candle had been lit, some roses somewhere… just SOME element of trying/creativity to be present.  Yeah, not even close.  I think I need therapy.

Post # 48
453 posts
Helper bee

We were just talking and decided to get married. I picked out a ring and he bought it a few weeks later. It was not disappointing at all.  For me if it’s the right person then deciding to get married can’t be disappointing.


Honestly I don’t really understand those situations in which the couple selects a ring together and the groom purchases it and then the woman sits around waiting for an elaborate proposal.  Why the need for an  surprise when it really isn’t a surprise at all? They have already decided to get married.

Post # 49
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

The proposal was very much US. I was still in college, it was just this past december. He came to visit me and it was nearing the end of the fall semester. I had a particularly bad day and I was sooo much looking forward to him coming.

So he gets there, and we are on the top floor of the house (it’s a dorm but it’s a house) and we were talking about where to go to eat. I said I was going to change and use the bathroom so I’d be back, he said OK, and I could tell that he was a bit tense, I thought it was the two hour drive and he just was hungry.

So I come back into the room and he’s sitting on my bed and said “Oh, I just updated a comic I drew today on my website. (side note, he draws journal comics, instead of writing what happens that day, he draws it) So I go over to my computer and he starts playing music (I’m still oblivious at that point but once I started reading the comic I knew immediately what was happening and I started to ball my eyes out, after I read the short little comic I turned around and he was down on one knee, said really sweet things and I squealed, cried, hugged him and said yesssssss. We called everyone! It took us nearly an hour and a half to get in contact with everyone, but it was so great. Then we got to go out finally to eat some food, we settled on Perkins, because breakfast food is always the best.


(I even drew a comic response to him!) The first one is his, and the second black and white one is mine.

[attachment=1146081,144794] [attachment=1146081,144795]

Post # 50
23 posts
  • Wedding: April 2011

No major dissapointments here! It was perfect… except that he was in front of his fraternity for their annual banquet and wanted “our song” (1234 Plain White T’s) to play before he asked me “as a distraction”.  But, the sound board had a wrong connection or something and caught on FIRE!! So there was no music ๐Ÿ™ my Fiance had to announce that “I guess the music isn’t going to create the distraction I hoped it would”.  Poor thing! He was so nervous to have everyone looking at him for that long… but I think that mistakes like that add character, right?

Post # 51
330 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

My proposal was fairly simple… which is exactly what I wanted. We biked downtown and he proposed down by the riverbank. 

When I tell the story I always sound really excited and how “it was perfect” and “just how I always wanted it”.

I think if you say how the proposal was so sincere and say how it was”so us”, then people probably will return your excitement with a positive reaction. But still some people ask about the proposal hoping to hear some crazy story, so that’s not your problem. Its not THEIR proposal after all.

PS. I think that’s an awesome story. You sound like a very down-to-earth couple ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 52
128 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

My proposal wasn’t filled with hot air balloons or 25 roses. It didn’t have fancy food or something that everyone else would think is super AWWW moment in time. But for me I wouldn’t have wanted it anyother way.

It was a tuesday. I still remember that to this day because I couldn’t get it out of my mind that we were going out on a Tuesday. I was tired and he had to convince me to go out. I could tell it was important to him so we went to one of our favorite resturants. He loves their ranch there. ๐Ÿ™‚ we ate our usual there (we are kind of low key and predictable when it comes to food. ) and we just chit-chatted. After dinner we decided to walk by the Dam and get ice cream. (I LOVE ice cream. If I could I think I would eat ice cream all the time, but both my tummy and my thighs wouldn’t thank me xD) It was late and downtown was practically deserted. I think we saw like 2 other people outside. Mr.Videogamer was acting odd and jumpy. I couldn’t figure out why ( trust me I asked!) we stopped at the pavillion and he asked me to dance. Puzzled yet pleased, we danced. If I thought anythign was gonna happen it would have been then. It was quickly forgotten as we walked the walkway. We spent the walk talking about a lonely swan that we saw in the Dam. We talked about how he wanted a wife and kids and someone to grow old with. It wasn’t an odd conversation for us because we already knew we were going to get married…eventually. On our way back on the walkway we stopped to look at the full moon. I turned around and Mr.Videogamer asked me to come there. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I got kind of nervous.

He then proceeded with this. “I’ve made you wait long enough.”

me: “What?”

Him: “Tricia Lyn I love you and I want you to be my wife. I asked your dad a question and now I want to ask you one. *Gets down on one knee* Tricia will you marry me?”

Me: “YES!”

There were no fireworks or a giant band playing. Apparently he was suppose to wait for a couple of weeks and have this giant thing planned out but he couldn’t wait haha.

I guess he held my ring for less than a week after he asked my dad for my hand.

I loved my proposal because it fit us <3

Post # 53
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Mine was low key also!  He proposed at a romantic old restaurant in my hometown and my family surprised us after he was down on one knee.  When I tell the story to others it doesnt sound as grand as being on the beach or on a cliff or in a hot air balloon but I dont care. It was the best day of my life ๐Ÿ™‚  (second best after we actually get married)

Post # 54
591 posts
Busy bee

Mine was low key. He interrupted my dishwashing after dinner and had to do it twice because I was set on getting the task done so I could hit the shower that evening. It was our first Saturday home with no errand in months. We stayed in our PJ’s all day then went out to the patio for some grilled food and wine. I was washing dishes in the kitchen when he interrupted me by using our cat as a prop. I would not have had it any other way.

I think big proposals are sweet but I know I would not have reacted the way I did during my proposal if it was at a public setting. I would’ve been too worried about the other people watching that my reaction would have been contained. When people ask how he did it I tell them that he interrupted my dishwashing. They think it is a funny story and refreshing because they too often hear the big romantic proposals.

Post # 55
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I was EXTREMELY disappointed in my proposal. He took me to a museum and we didn’t even have enough money to get in. I was crying and then we went to a free mueseum. He then took me out back in the park by a big statue that said “Love” (like in NYC) and proposed. I said no! I was so upset.

He was so upset with himself and cried as well…

I then bought him a ring and put it in a bag of beef jerky and proposed to HIM (the same day). He said he wanted me to say yes first…

So we went to lunch at Olive Garden and he slipped it in the sweetners, because he knew I would be drinking iced tea like I always do. So in the end it worked out, but I never tell anyone about the proposal, because it was one of the worst experiences of my entire life.

Post # 56
21 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

Although his intentions were good, the proposal just didn’t work out the way he or I had imagined. I will admit that I was pretty disappointed in the proposal…but not for his lack of trying!

I had mentioned many moons ago how I thought it would be sweet to wake up one morning, stretch, and bling bling see the ring on your finger..What a way to start off the day, right! Well, FH decided that the only day I had to sleep in, in over three weeks, that he would propose..So at about 7am I can feel him twisting and turning in the bed…and I say “…. stop moving”..so he stops. A few minutes later he is twisting and turning again…and again with my eyes closed I say “stop frigging moving I am trying to sleep.” So I fall back asleep for another little while…..until low and behold FH starts moving again…This time I was pissed….I opened my eyes sat up and said ” If you can’t sleep, get the hell out of the bed….because I’m trying to….” right there in front of me was poor scared FH with the ring in his hand….and he says “Here……will you marry me.”

And if that wasn’t bad enough…I thought it was fake! We joked about getting engaged about a year earlier and I went out and bought a fake ring from Walmart that was my dream ring…FH went and got the exact one designed for me…and I was sure he was kidding…

I do love our story (although embarassing) but I thought I would have gotten a speech of why he loved me, that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me yada yada yada….I guess I put the boots to that….

Post # 57
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

@Soon2BMrsSmith: I feel your pain.

Like Mrs Smith I hated mine but that was mainly because I never got one. We talked about getting married for a couple of months, but he refused to look at rings with me because he feels that the ring should be a reflection of his love for me. Fine, no problem with that at all because he has pretty good taste when it comes to stuff like that. So no need to drop hints or anything because pretty much from day one of discussing marriage we knew our timeline.

So during all of these discussions he tells me that he won’t propose to me until he asks my father for permission. Again, fine and dandy as I love that sentimental streak in him. Well, he wanted to ask in person but my parents like almost 1000 miles from where he was living at the time. And he deployed soon after telling me that he wouldn’t propose without asking permission. Meanwhile, I have to start telling people we are getting married so that arrangements can be made. A venue, caterer, and church were all booked and a dress bought long before he even came home from deployment.

As a Christmas/birthday present during deployment he bought me a pretty promise ring. How do I know it is a promise ring and not an engagement ring? Well in communication from deployment he said “by the way, that’s the ‘promise ring.’ ” At other points in time he tells me that he is going to propose when he gets back from deployment. Well, he gets back, we visit my family, we come home. On the way home he describes to me how he had planned on proposing to me…complete with what the ring would have looked like.

We are now just about 3 weeks out from the wedding and I still have not gotten asked the question “will you marry me” nor have I gotten an engagement ring. We have had many discussions about this all which end with the same thought: It wasn’t a financially good time to purchase a diamond ring (which I totally understand) and so close to the wedding it is now pointless to buy an engagement ring. Oh, and the latest one that now comes up is that he can never buy me an ‘anniversary engagement’ ring because it will never live up to my expectations now.

In short? I love the guy dearly and am almost to the point of counting the seconds until I am his wife but there are many times when I look at the pretty promise ring on my finger and feel nothing but disappointment. I guess I am a bad person-oh and greedy too!

Post # 58
3138 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2010 - Savannah, GA

For me, the actual proposal was very low key.  But there was a lot that lead up to it that made it special.

It was the anniversary of our first date. Actually, our first date was low key also, because he just asked me out for lunch at work, we went, and he asked me if I wanted to date him–that was the first date.

So on the anniversary of that date, we planned to exchange gifts and go into town for a nice dinner. Well, he said he never got a chance to buy my gift, and was it okay if he get me one later… Well, no, it’s not okay… He knows I like presents, even little presents, so I’m sure he wasn’t surprised when I said no. Then he said he didn’t know what to get me… I said, a nice ring for my left hand would be nice, and he said he didn’t know my size. Oh well, that’s simple to solve, I’ll go to the jewelry store with you and try them on to help you find the right own.

So that’s what we did. We went to four jewelry stores that afternoon, dress in our nice dinner clothes, and we picked out a ring. The sales person wrapped it up in a nice box with a bow, and we drove to town for dinner.

When we got to town and had parked the car, he said “are you going to wear your ring?” and I said, “No, you haven’t given it to me yet.”  Right there in the car, he took out the box, untied the bow, and asked me to marry him. I said yes, and we went to dinner…

Post # 59
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I’m with jennifer_esposthe ONE place I asked my Fiance to please not propose to me was a restaurant. I just felt it would be such an intimate moment between the two of us that I didn’t want gawkers. Well, he proposed in a restaurant. I suppose however that is the only place in the world he could have done it where I didn’t expect it. And the surprise was more important to me than the venue ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 60
34 posts
  • Wedding: October 2010

Ours was definitely low-key, and I wouldn’t want it any other way! (although I totally know the feeling that others are a little less than impressed) Anyways, our story goes like this: it was an extremely busy few weeks leading up to the proposal- my car was the victim of a hit and run while parked on the street on christmas night. so we were dealing with the stress of finding out it was totaled, and then buying a new car. So the night he proposed, we had to return the rental car- we waited in a very long line for a very long time. Then we just grabbed dinner real quick, and were on our way home. We never usually listen to the radio, but for some reason we did. And for some reason a bunch of classic love songs were on, (of course I can’t remember them now, but I know that one was definitely “maybe i’m amazed” by Paul McCartney) so we get home and before we get out of the car, he says “i love you… no… i REALLY love you” and pulled out the ring and asked me. Then we just sat in the car for a little while, enjoying the moment.

Post # 61
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

@GingerCurls: What an adorable and personal way to propose!! Looove it!

Mine was cute. It was at a restaurant, which I didn’t realized was so cliche until I read this thread. I had an idea that he was planning on proposing  that night because he insisted we go into the city for a fancy dinner at a restaurant he made reservations at. 1) We don’t go to fancy restaurants EVER, and 2) it was raining so I really didn’t want to be traipsing all over Manhattan, but he said we had to go, so even though I knew what might be coming, I wasn’t thrilled. He was nervous the whole way there and kept stumbling over his words, which further lead me to believe that it was really happening, but all I could do was make fun of him because I didn’t want to ruin the surprise. By the time we sat down to dinner, the build up was extreme. The actual moment was extremely anti climactic though. There was no speech, he didn’t get down on one knee. He just put the box on the table and pushed it over to me. All he could say was “So….what do you think?”. I had to tell him he had to ask THE question before I could say yes.  He did and I did, and we spend the next hour calling everyone we know. 

Now that I know the whole story, I feel a lot better about it. I found out after that the weekend before he proposed he drove all the way to MA to ask for my father’s permission and then he drove all the way back home the same day because I thought he was just at a football game. He also spend countless hours in the jewelery store with his sister picking out the perfect ring for me, all without me knowing. Even though I never got the romantic speech I was hoping for, his actions spoke for him and I really feel lucky to be marrying this wonderful guy!

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