(Closed) Were you disappointed with your proposal? Were other people?

posted 12 years ago in Proposals
Post # 76
Member
8 posts
Newbee

My boyfriend proposed three days ago.  I waited so long for him to propose and it was so disappointing.  I was leaving for class on Monday and he put his arms around my waist and said, “I have something to ask you.  Will you marry me?”  I said, “Yes.”  He hugged me for about a minute, then went outside to smoke a cigarette.  There was no ring, no kiss, just a hug.  When I questioned him about it, he said, “I hugged you for at least a minute!”  Then, he took me to school.  I asked him if he would pick me up from class and if we could spend some time together on our proposal date.  He said, “I wish I could but I really have to get back to Denver (I reside in Colorado springs).  And, he had to pack because he was getting evicted in two days, which is one of the reasons why I proposed… he thought that if we were engaged, I would let him live with me.  Then, he did not contact me for two days.  Also, he will not tell anyone that we are engaged.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by pastorkms.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by pastorkms.
  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by pastorkms.
Post # 77
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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sjbee:  his proposal seems like it was so genuine and sweet. I think that’s MORE romantic than someone meticulously planning out some grand proposal because that shouldn’t be the focus. It’s about the two of you… And it sounds like the beginning of a beautiful marriage focused on the right things 🙂 

Post # 78
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

the proposal was low key too.

We talked about marriage within the 1st 30 days of dating.  Well after 6 months of dating, we went ring shopping, it was in November.  He wanted me to pick out 3 e-rings that I loved which I did.  He later went back to the jewelers and purchased one out of the 3.  So, I knew he had my e-ring, I just didn’t know when or where he was going to pop the question.  A few weeks later, I was cooking breakfast on Christmas morning when he came into the kitchen & got down on one knee. It wasn’t a surprise that he proposed, I knew it was coming (soon) but the words he chose when he asked me; I will never forget.  That day, that moment and those words; were perfect for me.  Later, we went to his family Christmas dinner & announced our engagement. I’m so glad that he didn’t wait and asked me in from of his family. 

 

Post # 79
Member
877 posts
Busy bee

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pastorkms:  I hope you break up with him. 

My proposal was mostly perfect, but i was a little disappointed that he didn’t put more thought into it. I never wanted a grand gesture, just something private and romantic Which is what I got. We are long distance and he asked ms to FaceTime that night, made the 10 hr drive to my house, and knocked on my door and was down on one knee holding a ring at our scheduled date time. So it was sweet. Also his friend told me that he had planned to propose when he visited me a month later, but he picked up the ring and didn’t want to wait. The only thing that was disappointing to me was that he didn’t say anything sweet to me, just “will you marry me?” I do wish he’d made a little speech about how much he loves me, etc, but that’s okay. 

Post # 80
Member
916 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

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pastorkms:  that’s not a proposal of marriage, it’s a proposal of moving in.  Girl, don’t fall for the BS

Post # 81
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee

I feel like people feel that they need/other people are required to have “outrageous” proposals, and this new “promposal” thing that’s going on.  I honestly believe it’s due to social media/the me culture that we have going on where nothing is private and everyone wants to one up.  I think this breeds the idea that every proposal needs to or should have some insanely sweet story behind it…

With that being said, having an outrageous proposal to me (by outrageous I mean something really out of the norm!) is just as sweet as simply asking if that’s what you wanted.  I just think people expect it nowadays, which I think ruins the sweetness of the moment.

Honestly I was surprised (until about halfway through haha) about my proposal, but it was sweet and just the way I wanted it, NOT in public!  We had been discussing marriage for a while, so it wasn’t this huge theatrical moment you have like on TV, but I was so happy and cannot wait to marry him.  

Now afterwards, a LOT of people were asking me if I was excited to wedding plan.  Frankly I was not.  I would be honest with some people and say I am not really a wedding person, but cannot wait to get married.  People had a REALLY hard time believing this and took it as I somehow didn’t want to be married.

Post # 82
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I just feel really disappointed.  He did not even shave or shower.  And, I told him he cannot move in, and he ignored me and said that he will be here today to move in.  And, his family sent him money and he won’t tell me how much and he is not planning on helping me with the bills or food.  I want to run away.  🙁

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by pastorkms.
Post # 83
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

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pastorkms:  You’ve got to stand up to him! He is treating you like a doormat because you are one. Cut off all communication with him, lock the door, and don’t let him in. Call the cops if he won’t leave. Be a bulldozer, not a wilting flower.

Post # 84
Member
4113 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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pastorkms:  Then do so. Run far, far away. This guy is a class A douchebag who is using you as a doormat.. Stop letting him.

Post # 85
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

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LyndsBee48:  This shouldn’t need to be said, but everybody is different. A big proposal can be just as sweet as an understated one. It depends on what kind of people you are. A ‘meticulously planned out proposal’ is what I would call putting a lot of thought and effort into making someone feel special, and that doesn’t take the focus off the two of you as a couple, imo. For some it’s too much; for others, it’s exciting and fun. Nothing wrong with either preference.

Post # 87
Member
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

OP-Mine was an almost identical proposal!  He knew he wanted to ask on our anniversary.  Just after midnight (post-sex), he told me he loved me and asked.  I said yes and he jumped out of bed to get the ring, actually knocked his watch box over in a rush which was kinda cute.  Then we just kinda went to sleep.  It was a little more low key than I’d have wanted, but it was intimate and private.  That part was really nice.

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by Artie52.
Post # 88
Member
1044 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I never dreamed of a big proposal really. It all seemed to fairy tale and awkward. Plus Fiance isnt really a grand gesture guy. He shows me he loves me with his steadfast loyalty and trust, not bouqets of flowers and stuff. It’s just kind of how we work.

We talked about getting engaged prior to the engagement. He said he wanted me to help him pick a ring so we shopped together and picked one. I saw it online in a picture but never in real life. We ordered it and then it was in his hands to deal with.

Months passed. I had no idea what was happening, why he was hangin onto it, or what he was waiting for and I got a little antsy apparently. A bunch of stuff went down, his grandpa died and life changed a lot and then one night laying in bed I guess he couldnt wait anymore and asked if he  could put the ring on my finger because he wanted to marry me. It was quiet and low key and just right. There was no grand speech or pictures or balloons but it worked perfectly for us. 

It came out later that he was thinking of waiting until my birthday (which was a month after we got engaged) but he realized that I was going stir crazy with it sitting hiding somewhere so he just went for it. I was actually quite glad because I never wanted a birthday or holiday proposal, I wanted my own day!

Post # 89
Member
8 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Whoa, this thread is 6 years old and someone bump it up. Well, I throw in my 2 cents.. Those that got an ‘Official proposal’ from your man, you sure indeed are lucky girl!! I admire you.. As for me, I didn’t even get a proposal from my husband, so there. There me who didn’t have any proposal at all; so those that got one, be HAPPY!! Don’t be disappointed.

I never got an ‘official’ proposal from my husband. Back then, every couple days he would bring up the sentence: “Baby. If you want, we can go register for marriage tomorrow”.. I didn’t answer him, I drag it on for couple months and every couple days he asked and asked again. His “whenever you ready, I’m just waiting on you” attitude talk.. Maybe this was ‘his’ style of proposing. But Pfffff!! I thought ‘official’ proposal was suppose to be ‘asking me to be his wife’.. What an unromantic guy he is right, lol

If you considered that to be a proposal, then uh.. I did get one from my husband. But it wasn’t anything romantic proposal at all. He just being himself; the unromantic, down-to-earth guy that he is.

And those who have your man asked you to be his wife. I admire you!!.. My husband didn’t ask me to be his wife, there was No “will you be my wife” coming out of his mouth. Arg!! but I married him anyways… Perhaps someone here can smack some sense into my husband, let him know how unromantic he is. If you thijnk my husand is unromatnic, please click the ‘Helpful’ button, so I can know I’m not the only one out there who think that.

Post # 90
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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thegrandinquisitor:  Sorry! I didn’t mean to say a “big” proposal wasn’t sweet. I think it is! But I also think sometimes people get WAY too caught up in having some awesome engagement story to tell when really the only awesome story a couple needs to be concerned with having ss the story of their life together. It’s totally sweet when a SO puts tons of effort and time in to planning something special and well thought out… but I think it’s equally sweet when they’re just so genuinely overcome with excitement and love that they ask “in the moment.” 

Post # 91
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I told my fiance that I could not accept his proposal or live with him outside of marriage.  I told him that I am a minister and that he was asking me to choose between Jesus and him.  I told him that I would always choose Jesus and that in order to be with me, he had to know God first.  I told him that if he was unwilling to do things God’s way, then we did not have a life together and that we were unevenly yoked.  I told him that I love him and want to build a life with him, but that we needed to use the money his family gave to him to plan a wedding and a life together.  I have not heard from him.

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