(Closed) Were you ever required to wear specific bridesmaid shoes with a LONG dress

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Yes, I had to do it five times.  Shoes usually were dyed so cost me around $60 each time.  

Post # 3
Member
7690 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Nope. Color and heel range, yes. Specific shoe, no. And I’ve been a Bridesmaid or Best Man many times.

Post # 4
Member
47433 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yes, several times. Which is why I told my BM’s to wear whatever nude shoes they wanted.

The expense is bad enough, but inflicting uncomfortable shoes on your supposed closest friends and family is so self-centered. Just because the bride likes them doesn’t mean they will work for anyone else.

Post # 5
Member
787 posts
Busy bee

My Bridesmaid or Best Man wore long gowns in October for my wedding. My only requirement was that it had a heel, was close toed and nude. I just wanted them to be somewhat similar if the toes peaked out under their dress in photos (which they did so i’m glad they were somewhat uniform). I didn’t think it was necessary to make themk all go by a specific nude heel. A lot of my girls wore nude heels they already had! 

Post # 6
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee

Yes and the shoes were horrible. peeptoe Silver satin with a crystal brooch

Post # 7
Member
6947 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Only to the point where I was told I couldn’t wear the white shoes I already owned with a lavender gown because white and lavender clash (what??).  I dyed them gray and I really, really wish I’d just ignored her, best friend or not, because they’ve been useless to me ever since and they were super comfy.

You are allowed to tell the bride “no.”

Post # 8
Member
498 posts
Helper bee

YES, and it sucked 🙁 I had long Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses at my wedding and let everyone pick their own shoes for that reason. I hate being forced to buy a shoe that a dontvlike and that 9/10 times fits really badly, so uncomfortable. I’m sorry bee 

Post # 9
Member
7690 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I have to believe the brides who do this wear a perfect size 7 shoe, no narrow heel, no wide foot, no funny arch, and have never had a problem with any shoe feeling uncomfortable for the sometimes fourteen hours required for a wedding. I was a dancer and my feet are a mess. I’d be in my stockings or bare feet so fast if I was forced into uncomfortable shoes…

Post # 10
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

Yup, not weird at all IMO. But then again, I don’t think that the BMs should have to pay for any part of their wedding outfit if they get any other requirement than “wear whatever you like”. 

Post # 11
Member
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

Yes, and I thought it was absurd.

The dresses were long and royal blue, and the wedding colors were royal blue and yellow. The bride wanted us bridesmaids to have ivory shoes, but none of us owned ivory shoes, so we asked if we could do nude instead since the dress is long. The bride was like, “But nude won’t go with the color scheme, and my dress is ivory!” We all thought it was so silly, but we all had to go out and buy ivory shoes that no one even saw at all. *eye roll*

Post # 12
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee

I get that even with a long dress, if one Bridesmaid or Best Man wearing silver shoes and another wearing black it can look messy BUT if this bothers the bride she needs to buy the damn shoes for you.

I think giving you a colour of shoe and asking you to wear a shoe of your choice that fits is the better way to deal with it.

Post # 13
Member
1189 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 1995

I had my bridesmaids wear a specific shoe.  It was dyed to match.  

The other weddings I was in that year, also had specific shoes.  

Post # 14
Member
919 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

My BMs are in floor length dresses, and my input on shoes was “wear whatever is comfortable, but don’t be taller than me” (I’m wearing flats but I’m used to being the tall one, lol). Neither of my BMs like heels much, so that wasn’t a big deal. They’d probably be more put off if I wanted them in heels, come to think of it.

I mostly wear flip flops, so I wouldn’t be keen on a bride telling me I had to buy $50+ shoes that no one would see and I’d never wear again. 

Post # 15
Member
850 posts
Busy bee

View original reply
@ Starfish55   I could care less what my bridesmaids wear on their feet. Some girls are more comfortable in flats, some in heels–whatever, yo. It makes no difference at the end of the day. I can see saying, “no highlighter yellow shoes” or something like that–but geesh. Why must people feel that their bridesmaids must be matching props?

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