Post # 1
Hey Bees, as a sorority gril, I’ve watched a number of my sisters get lavaliered in the past 3 years. And every single time I’ve had to clap along and act excited, when all I wanted to do was have a candle pass celebrating me and my relationship. So, were you lavaliered or did you get to have a candle pass?
*for all non-greek bees: lavaliering is the process of having your so give you their greek letters to wear. it’s typically seen as a sign of the seriousness of the relationship and is usually a precursor to engagement*
Post # 3
Yes!! My (now) Fiance lavaliered me the end of my senior year. We had been dating since my sophomore year and I watched countless sisters get candle passes (some from guys who they hadn’t been dating for nearly as long as we were dating at the time… ) and I was obviously happy for my sisters, but secretly SO jealous!
Edit: Ok, maybe it wasn’t so secret that I was jealous. I think that’s why Fiance finally broke down because he thought the tradition was kind of silly…
Post # 4
Umm…I did this to myself!
As background my school did not allow fraternities or soroities so I had no clue about any of this stuff. The BF was in a frat when he was in school but we had both been out of college a couple years when this happened.
So we had a party at his house one night, a bunch of his college buddies were down for the weekend and their girlfriends had come along. We were outside drinking and playing games, but it was getting cool later at night and I got pretty cold. I asked BF if I could grab a sweatshirt and he said sure. So I went upstairs and grabbed the one sweatshirt he had put it on and went downstairs.
Of course it was a sweatshirt with his fraternity letters on it and when I went downstairs his brothers freaked out asking if he had “lettered” me. I was totally confused and had no idea what was going on. BF said that sure he would letter me right then. He later explained to me what it all was and I felt a little on the dumb side for not knowing and basically doing it to myself. Bah. He said he wouldn’t have done it if he hadn’t meant it but I think he was just being nice and getting me out of an embarssing situation. 😛
Despite the dumb way I backed into it some of the girlfriends there were still miffed that I had been lettered and they hadn’t.
Post # 5
My Fiance laviliered me 3.5 yrs into our relationship, a mere 2 months before I graduated..I was soooo glad I got the chance to have a candlepass 🙂
Post # 6
I went to UCLA and we didn’t really do “lavalier-ing.” A few girls got “pinned” which is essentially the same thing, but it wasn’t very common, like one per year.
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
I didn’t know that was real! I was never in a sorority, but I watch Greek on ABC Family, haha. Cool to know it’s a real thing. 🙂
Post # 8
No, never. The boy and I went to a school which had only a few frats and they were known for having the highest instances of date rape in the dorms. (We didn’t have a “campus” or “frat houses” just reserved dorm floors). Definitely not something you want to be associated with.
Sounds like a lovely tradition though, although I wonder how girls who chose not to date within the Greek system feel? Are their relationships celebrated in any way?
Post # 9
I went to a school with an extremely strong Greek system and I don’t know anyone that was lettered or lavaliered there. It just wasn’t a tradition my school really had. I was in a sorority and dated someone in a fraternity for most of my time there.
To be honest, I am not quite sure I understand the point of it. If it is so that the men/women of the fraternity/sorority might accord you more respect as your relationship was now “serious” then to me it would be disappointing that it would require a ritual to be treated seriously. If it is somewhat akin to promise rings, I admit to being biased and not particularly caring for that tradition for myself. So for those who have this tradition at your schools, maybe you could explain why it is important to you for me?
Post # 10
I was never lavaliered, but we had several sisters get lavaliered during my 4 years at school. I thought it was a neat tradition, but Fiance would have never gone for it.
Post # 11
I am in a sorority however my Fiance is not in a frat.. : ( so the tradition is usually he would present the sorority girl with a lavalier of her own letters… but he didnt which is fine! We do a candle light to a song called shades and after the candle has gone around 2 times the sister blows it out indicating shes engaged! I had to keep mine secret from Christmas day to January 15th!! It was the HARDEST thing to do!
Post # 12
Although DH and I are both Greek, I wasn’t lavaliered and honestly didn’t miss it. Plenty of my good friends and sorority sisters were and I wouldn’t have not been excited to have been myself but it wasn’t something I needed to validate our relationship or anything. Lavaliering wasn’t a big deal to me.
ETA: I did find it amusing that even after we’d only been dating for a few months, everytime a candlelighting got announced I’d have numerous people ask me if it was for me!
Post # 13
@Chiotilidieo: I was SO hoping to get engaged while I was in college so I could do that. Oh well! It was always so exciting when the candle went around another time.
Post # 14
@mouse: Me too! I went to a small liberal arts school with pretty much no greek life, but I love that show.
Post # 15
I was lavaliered when I was in college. It was my junior year. It happened in his fraternity house and when I finally opened my eyes (they had kidnapped me and driven me around campus blindfolded so I had no clue where I was going) all of his brothers and my sisters where in a big circle around us. Candles were lit, brothers on knees with roses…I’m talking it was the BEST lavalier ever.
We broke up the summer before my senior year because if I would’ve stayed with him, I probably would’ve ended up with two black eyes. Live and learn.
Post # 16
I won’t be lavaliered by a sorority, but there is a lavalier in my family that will get on my wedding day.