(Closed) Were you lavaliered?

posted 11 years ago in Waiting
Post # 17
Member
995 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Rubies: At our school, sisters who were dating non-Greek guys got “pearled” (ie- he gave them some kind of pearl jewelry) and it was thought of as the same thing so they could participate in the whole candle pass ceremony.

 

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@kay01: It wasn’t a way to gain the sorority/fraternity’s respect at all. It was more of a “pre-engagement” thing as OP said, so I knew my boyfriend/now Fiance couldn’t afford a ring at the time, but it was his way of showing that we plan on getting married some day. I’d say it’s somewhat akin to a more serious promise ring sort of thing for poor college students. As far as I know, it’s one of those polarizing things in Greek life. When I was lavaliered, I told my friend who happened to join the same sorority at another school and she thought it was an antiquated tradition that no one followed anymore.

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@fuschiasparkles: That’s exactly how i felt! 🙂

Post # 18
Member
1741 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Never, and I really wanted to be lavaliered or at least have a candle pass (if he wasn’t greek) but it didn’t work out with the two serious relationships in college–so it’s all for the better.

 

 

but i LOVE tradition, so i was jealous of the others that got to experience it. but the nice thing about jealousy is it goes away with time. 🙂

Post # 19
Member
1098 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I was lavaliered and had a canclepassing in college.  It was a very big deal at the time.  I can remember how exciting it was when we were told there would be a candlepassing, with everyone guessing at who it would be…and what that luicky girl would be getting.

We passed the candle once around the circle.  Then on the second pass, the girl to be lavaliered would blow it out.  If the candle made it around the circle two full times, we knew it was not simply a lavalier.  If the candle was blown out on the third circle, the girl was pinned; if the candle made it around the circle three full times and then blown out on the fourth round, it was an engagement….the most exciting of all!

After graduation, I ended up breaking up with the guy I was lavaliered to…but it was a nice experience to have been part of.

Post # 20
Member
403 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

Although I went to a school with a strong greek system it just didn’t happen there.  It was a big deal for a sorority girl to be given a shirt with letters on it.  If a girl had fraternity letters she was considered a house “sweetheart” and didn’t necessarly have to date a brother. I actually never received one from my bf but I had one from my best friend’s frat.  I guess though this silly tradition proved true. Best friend is still around and BF got kicked to the curb years ago.

Post # 22
Member
1211 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have never heard of this. It all sounds so 1950’s!

Post # 23
Member
2208 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I was never in a sorority but I always wish I had gone to a campus that had sororities.  Reading this makes me really wish I had been in one.  Sounds cool, though. To have it done or to watch it be done.

Post # 24
Member
722 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

I was not in a sorority and the Greek system was not big at my school, but my boyfriend was in a fraternity and I was his “sweetheart,” meaning that we were very serious and were (and still are) headed for marriage. I was able to (and did) wear his letters but it really wasn’t that big of a deal, as most people at our school had no idea what it meant (nor did I before he joined his frat). Smile

Post # 25
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

@jennab503: haha same here GDI uhh , they will NEVER understand 🙂

Post # 26
Member
2148 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Wasn’t really done at my school, even so, my Fiance is 8 years older than me so we weren’t at school at the same time anyway. However, we do have some “rituals” that take place at the wedding reception that I am hoping our friends forget about Laughing

Post # 27
Member
885 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 1996

My sorority did the candlelight passing ceremony when a sister announced that she’d gotten engaged, but that happened so rarely that it would have been very weird to have a lavalier ritual to announce pre-engagement. The heavily academics-centered culture of my college was associated with an extremely low instance of people getting married right after graduation – people were much more likely to delay marriage until after they’d had a chance to go to grad school and/or get their careers established. To that end, my sorority actually passed a measure during my senior year extending the candlelight ceremony to sisters who wanted to announce that they’d been accepted to graduate school or gotten a post-graduation job offer, which I thought was pretty awesome. It’s all exciting, life-altering news, and as such, worth honoring.

Post # 28
Member
4554 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I got lavaliered, but at my school, they called it “dropped”, since the necklace had the Greek letters vertically (a drop necklace). We were very serious for a long time, but when he basically admitted he wanted me to be a Stepford wife, I broke things off.

Fiance is GDI. Would have been nicer to have gotten “dropped” by the man I would later marry, but I’m glad to have gotten the candle-passing ceremony anyways.

Post # 29
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I was in a sorority but nobody ever got laviered at my school, it called for intense hazing for the guys, so it just never happened.

Post # 30
Member
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Since my Fiance is not in a Frat he would have to present me with a lavalier of my own letters but other girls have gotten lavaliered and we didnt do a candle pass for them even though its been mentioned

Post # 31
Member
2 posts
Wannabee

@jennab503:  Quick question, my sister was given a lavalier necklace from her big, and we were wondering, can she wear them, or does she just save them to give to someone special? I thought the guy buys them to give to you, not for you to give to him, right!?

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