Post # 1
I totally feel like I’m back in high school telling my mom I needed birth control!
Darling Husband and I had The Talk yesterday and decided to start TTC in February or March – bumped up from April/May! We are both so excited, but I’m also nervous.
He isn’t as particularly worried as I am – but I’m so worried of the things family might think. Age, money, etc. He says you can’t live your life based on what other people might think (very true). He will be thisclose to being a licensed electrician, I’ll have my MA – but that thought still lurks that there’ll be judgements.
We don’t plan to tell anyone we are TTC, just tell once we become pregnant.
Did these thoughts go through anyone else’s head, or am I just crazy? >< Do you ever outgrow that parent/child dynamic?
Post # 3
I was terrified to tell my mom and dad that I’m pregnant. We ended up having to tell them because I was having complications, but she already knew because I had morning sickness EVERY morning.
I think that there is always that fear of not knowing what the reaction will be.
Post # 4
@reine_de_rien: I hate to look like the creep that replies immediately, but you just made me feel tons better! Not that you had complications – but that I’m not the only one who thought that. Hope everything is better as far as the complications!
Post # 5
Lol, I’m glad I could help.
And, no more complications! I’m five months along and I have a healthy, active kicker. So, not much sleep for me…; )
Post # 6
@sorrycharlie:I told my parents after my miscarriage because I needed support (it didn’t help as much as I hoped). Then I told them right away when I got pregnant–not sure why, exactly.
Still a month to go before we tell everyone else and I kind of don’t want to tell anyone at all. I’m paranoid.
I totally get where you’re coming from–it’s a strange thing to announce.
(And I let it out on the bee–thanks ladies!)
Post # 7
@PasteMoo: I’m pretty sure I’m on the 8-12 week to tell family train (although I say that now!), but I’m afraid ILs will be pissed. They have said before that family should find out immediately. Oh well..I surely don’t think I’ll be telling them right away so they’ll have to deal.
I feel like if I tell my Mom first alone for support, she might be able to reassure me about other family member reactions.
Post # 8
@sorrycharlie: Honestly, I’ve never had any married friend who was afraid to tell their parents they were expecting- nor was I.
We planned both our pregnancies- we were adults and the timing and choice to have children was completely our decision. I was well beyond worrying about anyone’s reactions, much less my parents , and I certainly didn’t need their approval.
I will admit though it would bever have occurred to me that they wouldn’t approve and be excited for us. Guess we were lucky to both have supportive families.
Post # 9
Yes I was nervous. We had no money and really no business having a baby. But have a baby we did, and it worked out fine. My parents constantly tell me how wonderful our daughter is and can’t imagine life without her. My dad gets depressed if he doesn’t see her for a week!
Just because you’re married, or a grown adult doesn’t mean the nerves aren’t normal. Everyone’s family is different. My family is super judgmental and some people (like myself) really do worry about letting down their family, or being judged or causing disappointment. Most parents will say “Wait, wait, you have so much time.” But you can’t put your life on hold for other people.
Post # 10
My husband and I had this SAME conversation. I finally realized that he was right.
Post # 11
@KatyElle: thank you – this was so reassuring. I suppose if I let people talk me into everything they’ve tried to, I’d end up living someone else’s life!
@happymrs: oh, good! sometimes men are good for helping us see the light.
@julies1949: I’m sure our families will be more than supportive, but I’ve still got those nerves. I suppose similar to when you’re in elementary school and you think how mature the high schoolers are, and how you’ll never get there! Then in high school – college sounds like a dream, but feels as though it’ll never come. And then all of a sudden you’re an adult – but feel like you were just 13 years old, or turning 18. It’s just all so surreal when it’s no longer just stories about other people, but happening to you! If that makes any sense 🙂
Post # 12
Yeah men also seem to be better at making up their minds and sticking with it! I think the thing I really realized was that our parents also lived their own lives and are ultimately human too. And I realized that even though I was married and living an adult life I wasn’t thinking of myself as a grown up and I needed to. I hope everything works out for you! I think it’ll be ok!
Post # 13
i was nervous but only because i was barly out of high school lol!
Post # 14
I get nervous just thinking about it! I’m not married yet and we would like to wait a year or two before TTC but the thougt of actually telling my family knocked up is terrifying. Coming form a really close but stricly Catholic family, getting pregnant before marriage is the biggest No-No, ( I could OD and they wouldn’t care as much) so while being sexually active I anxiously waited every month for AF. Swithching my mindset to wishing AF won’t come and I get a BFP will be a challenge. I guess I’d still feel like a teenagaer doing something naughty. My parents are super supportive of my relationship and would love to become grandparents sooner rather than later but I’d still be freaked out.
@sorrycharlie: OMG your reply to @julies1949 … I feel exactly the same way