(Closed) Were you still "surprised" even if you weren't surprised?

posted 6 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
979 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I thought I had completely ruined any chance of my Fiance surprising me and he still managed to, so don’t get disappointed yet!  I knew the ring was coming and he was just waiting for it to come in the mail.  I knew there were two events we had planned that would be a good time to do it, one before I went home to visit my parents for a weekend (700 miles away) and one after.  I’m a horrible snoop and checked his email to find the tracking info to see when it would be there and I accidently stumbled upon a flight receipt email for flight to our local airport.  SURPRISED RUINED… I thought.  I was so confused because the flight was supposed to come in Friday night and Saturday afternoon I hadn’t seen him, yet I had talked to him and he sounded like he was with his buddies.  My parents and I were looking at a few venues that Saturday since we knew the proposal was coming and he showed up in the parking lot!  My dad had picked him up from the airport, snuck him into our basement, and kept him from us for about 18 hours before he surprised us (my mom and I).  AND to make it perfect, we’re getting married at the venue we were looking at when we proposed.  He actually proposed on the way home from the venue.


So point of my long winded story… don’t stress, your SO might be more clever and be able to surprise you even though you know its coming.  And you’ll be so excited you have a wedding to plan and that you’re getting married, you probably won’t care you weren’t completely shocked!  Let us know when it happens!!!

Post # 4
492 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I knew it was coming during a specific week because he wanted his family to witness it, and because we’re pretty open about things in general.  I didn’t know the specific day/time or the how, so I was still in shock that the moment had come when it happened, and wasn’t expecting the way that he did it either.  So yes, still surprised.

Post # 5
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I knew it was coming, he tried to surprise me, but it didn’t work. But guess what? It was still the most romantic, amazing, happy, and touching moment of my life.  Even if the worst happens, and you know the exact moment it is coming, it can still be awesome.

Don’t worry about it, let it come. If you end up knowing the day/hour/minute it still doesn’t change how special that moment is.

Post # 6
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I overheard him talking to his mother on the phone just hours before he proposed on vacation.  She clearly asked him “did you give her the ring yet?” and he said “no but very soon”.  Now deal with that information for the rest of the night and not let him know that you know….but I still enjoyed watching him get all nervous and waiting for the anticipation of the moment…..at the perfect sunset on our favorite beach.  AndI even tough I’ve known he had a ring I didn’t know what ring until he opened the box.  

You can still enjoy the moment.

Post # 7
807 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I technically didn’t “know” it was coming, but I was pretty sure it was. I did know he had a ring and suspected it would happen on our big camping trip. I was still totally, sincerely, absolutely shocked in the moment that it happened. 

I think part of what caught me off guard the most is how real it was that we would spend our lives together forever. We’d been talking about it for so long, that the fact that it was actually happening hit me really hard.

Post # 9
4893 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

I absolutely 100% knew, and it was still wonderful and romantic. It’s not anticlimactic, even if you know the moment before. 

Post # 10
31 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

@VMars:  AWW…you dont have to feel that way. I dont, I’m TERRIBLE with surprises, I always have this look of mixed awkwardness and confusion almost bordering on disappointment whatever the gift is! lol…I could be totally pleased and happy but I’m a horrible receiver of things. My closest friends and family arent bothered by my reactions though.

My boyfriends on the other hand know me well enough NEVER to try and surprise me. 3 of them have been turned down (in private because even they knew better than to try that on me in public). Part of my reaction to proposals is that I’am so willful and independant that I feel that springing things on me is just NOT cool or respectful. The pressure alone is enough to freak me out and I’am VERY private about my emotions. Also, trying to corner me with money or jewelry is a BAD idea whatever the sentiment.

This is a very touchy thing for me, some people might say that I have issues, I’m just careful because I don’t need to be a divorce statistic. Now throw all those feelings and the above described reaction to even CHRISTMAS gifts into a proposal situation and yeah….not so much! (btw I don’t beleive in Xmas gifts….I think spending time with the people you love is most important. Goes with the whole money thing. I do however LOVE art, something someone makes is awesome!!)

Yes I’am aware that its NOT about the ring and I know, it makes for very bad romance material but I’am a very down to earth, practical kind of chick and I’am NOT swayed by material or even emotional things….That all said, my fiancee, the 4th man in my life to propose to me, did not propose to me.

He talked to me seriously about getting married over the course of a few months, then he started asking me about what I would like to see in an engagement ring. Yeah, this man was CRAFTY and owing to the fact that I’am a visual person he started suggesting we go down to a private jeweler. I mean, I was in such denial that I WAS surprised when he drove me down to eat breakfast at a little cafe and then carefully nudged me in the direction and through the door of the jewelers next to it…

I was told to look and get ideas and I was getting nervous and agitated but man, that lady was GOOD, she let me walk around for a bit and then led me by the nose in getting a design idea out of me. By the time I walked out and even knew what happened she had drawn a picture of what I wanted and was already making calls….I was upset when we got home though!!! I TOLD you I was bad.

He talked to me and calmed me down and asked me again to consider everything he told me that the ring was a commitment from HIM and that I was not tied, obligated or being tricked by him. I calmed down and he gave me a week and by then the jeweler had a setting for me to look at and the excitement had caught. I went in to pick stones and a month and a half down the line I had my ring!

I had personally directed its creation so I know everything that went into it BUT I will say this, when the ring was finished and he put it on my finger and told me to go outside, I was STUNNED into silence!! My breath caught and I was stupid with awe! Yeah, he got a smile out of the grinch! and while I did not get all giddy or cry, that was my approximation of the Ed McMahon dance, it just happened INSIDE and he loves me for me, not because of some expectation of hysterical joy. He says that I get this shy smile like in my kid pictures and when I blush he knows I’am genuinely happy.


Post # 11
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Yes! I knew he had the rings for months and months and some how he still managed to completely surprise me. 

Post # 12
37 posts
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m in the same boat as you. I know he has the ring but all I know otherwise is it will be sometime between now and April 1st he said. I would worry about him not being able to surprise me but just the other day he came in the house, kissed me and we were mid conversation when he pulled roses from behind his back that I hadn’t noticed. He will have no problem surprising me lol. 

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