(Closed) Were you surprised, or was your engagement an open process???

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did you have any idea what was coming the night you were engaged?
    Yes, I was completely Shocked! We hardly even talked marriage! : (99 votes)
    15 %
    I knew everything, down to the minute I'd have that ring! : (171 votes)
    26 %
    We went ring shopping/he asked my opinion, but that was it! : (274 votes)
    41 %
    Other, Explain below... : (123 votes)
    18 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    7339 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I was totally surprised, I had absolutely no clue he was going to propose on our trip to Portugal last year. I think the only thing I ever mentioned to him was that I love rings that come in a set, and I guess he listened cuz thats exactly what he got me. He did awesome and I don’t think I would change any of it.

    Post # 4
    Member
    11390 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    It seems you are fine with it. Just your FI? Is he your Fiance yet? Seems he is undecided how he feels about it. Which he will get over I am sure. Keep reminding him you was GLAD to know ahead of time & wouldn’t had wanted to been surprised & I think he will feel better about it. ๐Ÿ™‚

    I was completely surprised! We had talked a little about marriage but I never thought he would asked so soon. But I sure was glad he did! ๐Ÿ™‚ I still got to pick my ring, we picked it together actually. I wouldn’t change a thing!

    Post # 5
    Member
    955 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    We had talked about marriage, but I had NO clue that he was going to propose yet.  He apparently had the ring for a couple months, and everyone else knew, including my parents.  So, they did a really good job of keeping it hush hush.  He even showed his mom the ring about a month before when she was here visiting and I was completely clueless.  Looking back, I see all the signs now, ha ha!

    Post # 6
    Member
    327 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Boyfriend or Best Friend and I went ring shopping together, I was there when he purchased the ring.  I know he has it in his possession, but the actual date/time of the proposal will be a surprise to me!  I almost wish I didn’t know ANYTHING about it, not even what the ring looks like, but I’m glad we went and picked something out together.  The rest is up to him!

    Post # 7
    Member
    6998 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I signed us up for a scavenger hunt uptown one march and the prize: a 25k diamond ring. It was tons of fun, but we didnt win – this def got the ball rolling on marriage talk though

    a few weeks later my husband and I were at the mall and he was like “lets take a look in here” i was super nervous and didnt even know what to look for in there…. When we got home i showed him a few pictures of rings i liked – after that we didnt talk about it much. I knew we would get married but i didnt know when he would propose but i had a feeling it would be around the holidays 2010..his sister was getting married in august and i assumed he would wait until after to propose…but i was wrong! he (kind of) surprised me in July 2010.

    honestly i had no idea he would propose so soon and i ruined the surprise for myself…one saturday we were (again) at the mall and his phone rings, he walks away as i was browsing and after a good 10 minutes i couldnt find him then he comes strolling by saying he had to take that call (looking back he was asking my mom and dad who were out of town that weekend). The next day we were sitting around the apartment, he was in the shower and my phone was dead…since my parents were out of town i needed to text my mom and see if i needed to let the dogs out or if one of my brothers would be home – not knowing how to work his blackberry i went to texts and the first thing i see is a text between him and my mom…i threw the phone down, not wanting to read it, thinking “there is only one reason he would be texting my mom” so this def raised my suspisions but i never mentioned it. After the weekend and into the week (on wednesday) i got an email from him saying “pack your bags, we are headed to charleston for the weekend”…now its not uncommon for us to take weekend trips but for him to plan them was strange..i normally plan these things… what made my suspicions grow more was when we checked into our hotel and it was under my dads name….(he offered my husband his marriot points to get us a room) He proposed that weekend and i knew it was coming…becuse i ruined the surprise for myself and one too many things kept adding up.

    I think i would have been fine being involved in the proposal process but i love that he tried to surprise me – what i didnt like was being in limbo, knowing but having to act surprised…

    (he still doesnt know that i somewhat knew what was going on)

    Post # 8
    Member
    5183 posts
    Bee Keeper

    I showed Fiance 2  rings that I was in love with. I knew when he bought A ring.. I was unsure of which it was though and he never showed me in person. I was kind of expecting the proposal because Fiance and I are in an LDR so the timing and the ring lines up.. but I was not expecting everything to be so elaborate and my friends def went out of their way to confuse me!

    Post # 9
    Member
    2714 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I was in on the whole thing! We went ring shopping together. He told me that he talked to my parents. He told me when he got the ring, then took me out to a fancy dinner and tried to throw me off… but by that time I knew it was coming!!

    Personally, I was totally fine with it… I don’t really like surprises and I’m glad that I wasn’t kept in the dark. If you’re happy with it, then I wouldn’t worry about it!

    Post # 10
    Member
    375 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    It was ALMOST a total surprise to me. My Fiance did an amazing job of planning it and getting the right idea for my ring (he had my twin brother’s girlfriend email me with pics of rings she liked, saying she had a dream my bro proposed and we should exchange ring ideas just in case). It was so sweet how much effort he put into our mountain-top proposal and trying to keep it a secret.

    I was almost fooled, but a day or two before we left, I got suspicious – too many coincidences. I was right, but it was nice to have the anticipation of not being sure. I was prepared with my answer, but since we hadn’t done anything engagement related together, I was really careful not to assume anything or get ahead of myself.

    It was perfect for me, but I honestly think engagements are so personal that it’s hard to say what would be right for someone else.

    Post # 11
    Member
    2392 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    I said other – it wasn’t a secret and he didn’t propose.  We talked about marriage for awhile. We realized early on in our relationship that we could see ourselves getting married and when we moved across the country together we started talking more specifically about when we would get married and decided on summer/fall 2011.  At that point, it was a matter of when we’d start telling people we were engaged and what our plans were.  He asked me a few months before we got officially engaged if I actually wanted him to propose vs. just make a mutual decision, and I said no.  So he didn’t – we just picked a time (before a trip home to see our families) to buy a ring and make it official.

    Post # 12
    Member
    2192 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I was a mixed bag.  We def talked about marriage and about 2 weeks before we talked about rings.  In reality he consoled me while I cried about the ugly rings his best friends had been buying.  I was worried about getting an ugly ring and having to like it!  We went ring shopping that weekend but talked about how it would have to wait till next year i.e. money.  He joked about asking me at Thanksgiving when all the family was in town and that’s exactly what he did!  I was really surprised since I was thinking we had a few more months to go.  A lot funner with the surprise though.:)

    Post # 13
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    We had planned for it to happen November in 2010 as we were just finishing paying off debt. So I went out and found a ring waaaay earlier that year because I was too excited to wait and he ended up picking it up and surprising me with a proposal in June instead.

    Post # 14
    Member
    225 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    sorry double post

    Post # 15
    Member
    15 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I think it’s funny how at this point the top 3 poll choices are tied!

    I always thought my Boyfriend or Best Friend would just surprise me completely but he suggested we go ring-shopping together!  We did go shopping together and even discussed details like the ring budget.  I basically picked out my ring and he’s “surprising” me with it when it’s ready.  So I have a very, very good idea of when the proposal is coming!

    I do think it’s really sweet when a guy completely surprises his girl, but I’m glad we at least went looking together because it turned out that what he envisioned for me (a princess solitaire) was different than what I actually fell in love with (a cushion-cut halo). Not that I wouldn’t love anything he gave me, but he’d just have no way of knowing my “dream ring.”  And he really wanted me to have something I absolutely loved.  Very sweet!  It’s ultimately about the love and commitment anyway, not the surprise ๐Ÿ˜€

    Post # 16
    Member
    5093 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    I knew we would get engaged very soon.  He had asked my opinion on rings, but he refused to let me pick it.  That was all his decision.  I knew that he had talked to my dad, but only because my mom accidentally let it slip.  I thought it was possible that it would happen the day that it did, but that was only because it was a significant day for us, and it could have been any other day in the near future.  I was the most surprised by my ring, since it’s nothing like what I told him I wanted, but I love it anyway.  He did good.  ๐Ÿ™‚

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