(Closed) Were you surprised, or was your engagement an open process???

posted 10 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did you have any idea what was coming the night you were engaged?

    Yes, I was completely Shocked! We hardly even talked marriage!

    I knew everything, down to the minute I'd have that ring!

    We went ring shopping/he asked my opinion, but that was it!

    Other, Explain below...

  • Post # 61
    2933 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We’d talked about getting married and he took me ring shopping one day, but other than that I was completely surprised.  I thought we were still at least 6 months away from getting engaged (even though we’d been together 2.5 years), and never thought he had a ring, so when he proposed on a random vacation I was ridiculously shocked. 

    I absolutely love that I was surprised, but I wish I would’ve at least given thought to the idea of him proposing on the vacation so that I might’ve pulled myself together a bit.  I was a sobbing, hysterical, red mess of a woman.  I always envy those women who stay composed, with one single tear coming down their cheek while they smile beautifully and remember everything the dude says.  I was not that girl.  I was a wreck.

    Post # 62
    5 posts
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I was partially surprised. my Fiance and I have been together for 10 yrs (hs sweethearts) and the timing was just never right….school…baby…finances. But this past winter both my BFF and his BFF got engaged and I cried for days (happy, but damn it, it was my time too). I saw a ring in an antique shop that I absolutely fell in love with about a month later and couldn’t stop talking about it. my BFF dropped the bomb accidently that he had bought it. About 3 wks later while collecting sea glass (our hobby) he came up to and was like look what I found and had my ring in his hands mixed with sone sea glass he found and then popped the question. It wasn’t overly romantic, but for him it was a lot!

    Post # 63
    489 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m not engaged yet, but we’ve gone to see rings in person and we’ve talked about what we’d want in a wedding. We also have our stone already, but that’s because I thought he was going to propose sooner and he wanted to make sure I really liked the stone- which brings me to the *surprise* element: We’ve decided that though I’ll eventually pick the setting to get the stone custom-set in, he’ll propose whenever he wants without a ring (then we’ll go get the ring made).

    SO, though we talk about it and plan for it, when and how he proposes is up to him :)

    Post # 64
    431 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I have almost the exact same story as @Entangled:, The only difference is I don’t have an e-ring. He never proposed, and I’m fine with that. I like that we decided together. The only difficult part is that I don’t have an engagement story to tell or a ring to show off. I don’t mind, but people don’t know what to say when I tell them our non-proposal story.

    Post # 65
    81 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    The only time me and Fiance had talked about this was when his cousin set their date after a 3 1/2 year engagement for another 1 1/2 yrs in the future. To each their own ( I dont want to offend anyone) I personally did not want a long engagement and I turned to him in front of his family and said if you ever propose you dont get a long grace period, we will be getting married a year after give or take a few months.

    He proposed Aug 20, we will get married Oct 6 of the following yr, so abour 13-14 months. It was infront of hundreds of people at an event I was running. I was super embarased in a good way and totaly not prepared. He did not have a ring, we went out and designed it.

    Post # 66
    46 posts
    • Wedding: November 2011



    I knew it was coming fairly soon. I was sure it was coming one particular night. We went out, did several things, yet nothing…so we pulled back into our driveway and was told there was a gift in the glove box. Inside was a book called, “I love you this much”. I started reading it out loud. Got to the end, and there was a little note written by him, on the last page. I started to cray reading it and did not even notice the Marry me? at the end of it..when i did i was shocked, looked over and he was holding the ring open. I WAS TOTALLY SURPRISED!!!! I least expected it. Loved it =)

    Post # 67
    185 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    I told him I wanted it to be a surprise, down to the ring! I knew the time was getting near, based on what we’d discussed in terms of life plans, and I gave him general ideas of what kinds of rings I liked. But…that’s where my input ended.

    He picked the actual ring out on his own (and did a STELLAR job, in my opinion). My best friend then helped Fiance plan a total surprise engagement. We have a LDR (he’s on the east coast, I’m in Illinois), so imagine my surprise when I saw him outside the place I was working, all dressed up, as I walked to my car at the end of work one Friday. 🙂 I love him!

    Post # 68
    305 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    I knew we were going to be engaged before the new year but i didnt know it was going to be this soon! October 15th 2011 on sweetest day yay

    Post # 69
    1646 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2010

    i voted other–we’d talked about marriage a lot and the wedding, but he wanted to surprise me with the ring and with the proposal. so getting engaged was discussed, but not the ring and the when/how. even though i knew it was coming he still caught me totally off guard 🙂

    Post # 70
    1374 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I just told him like ten times that if he would ever ask me to marry him, I would say yes. Thats all we talked about marriage until he actually pulled the ring out and asked me. Even though I told him that I would say yes, I was completely surprised that he actually proposed to me!!

    Post # 71
    256 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We went ring shopping, and would look online together sometimes. He had a general idea of what I liked, and we decided between about three rings in the store, that way it was still somewhat a “surprise.”

    I knew it was coming because we had talked about marriage a lot and were long distance, so the chances of it happening when I came to visit were pretty great. I told him even though I knew, he still needed to figure out a way to propose, so that it’d be somewhat of a surprise. The second day of the weekend I came to visit, he woke me up at 5am and told me he wanted to “drive to the beach to watch the sun rise.” When we got there, as the sun rose, he popped the question.

    So.. it wasn’t a surprise in that I knew it was coming and had input on what the ring looked like, but it was a surprise because I didn’t know exactly when or how I would get it, or which ring he ultimately chose! I do wish sometimes it was a complete surprise, but he hates surprises and this way we got to go through the shopping process together which was exciting!

    Post # 72
    191 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: February 1996

    @totheislnds: limbo yes! a good word to describe it!

    Post # 73
    590 posts
    Busy bee

    My proposal and the ring was a surprise!! we didn’t go ring shopping together, he did not ask what I wanted in a ring, we just talked about marriage and how we would want to do it soon. and honestly i’m so happy it was like that, having a proposal be a complete surprise is so amazing!! it was the best day of my life up to date!!! and I love the ring! everyone asks me if i picked out the ring because it’s so gorgeous, but no he did it all on his own 🙂

    talking about marriage yes it should happen..

    going ring shopping together and knowing when the proposal will happen . NO

    Post # 74
    7382 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2011

    It was a surprise, but not a complete one.  We had discussed marriage, but we wanted to be done school first, so the proposal came much earlier than I thought it would!  I never wanted to pick out my actual ring, but I did want to go shopping with DH just to look so he would have an idea of what I liked.  He did a great job without us ever having that trip.

    I was a little suspicious about the day.  We had been in different cities for 4 months, and he planned a day for when we’d be living together again.  DH usually doesn’t plan anything, so I was wondering a little bit beforehand.  He did wait until the whole day was over, so by then I was expecting it.

    Post # 75
    344 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    @pandaboo: Butttt that’s just your opinion of how you’d prefer it! Not everybody wants a total surprise. 

    On that note: I’m one that is waiting. We went ring shopping together and he picked up the ring just a few days ago and now I’m waiting. I’ll be surprised on the actual engagement, but I’m glad I knew everything up until now because I wouldn’t have wanted him to work to choose a ring then have it be something I don’t love.

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