(Closed) Were you surprised, or was your engagement an open process???

posted 10 years ago in Proposals
  • poll: Did you have any idea what was coming the night you were engaged?

    Yes, I was completely Shocked! We hardly even talked marriage!

    I knew everything, down to the minute I'd have that ring!

    We went ring shopping/he asked my opinion, but that was it!

    Other, Explain below...

  • Post # 106
    146 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    He caught me by surprise and proposed with his mothers ring.  We used the stone from it and chose a new ring setting for the stone together.

    Post # 107
    767 posts
    Busy bee

    I’m not engaged yet but I picked the third option. We have been ring shopping and I showed him what I loved and then rings that I hated so that he would know what NOT to get hahaha I trust his judgement on what he likes but I wanted to make sure he knew what I didn’t want also.

    Recently I showed him a ring that I absolutely fell in love with and he agreed that it was the most beautiful thing he’s ever seen. I’m not 100% sure but I’m fairly certain that that’s the ring he will buy if he hasn’t already.

    As far as the actual proposal…he has told me that he has it already planned out and has for some time. I HAVE NOOOOOOOOOOOOO INCLING WHAT SO EVER WHEN IT WILL HAPPEN….none. I like knowing that I will be completely shocked but oh my gosh I do want some kind of HINT! lol

    Post # 108
    900 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    Well we went shopping for a ring together. I picked 3 out and told him to pick which ever one he liked the most. He also told me the day he bought it, and he cant ever keep anything to himself. So i knew i was gettin the ring soon. He planned this random trip to the Biltmore Estate, which is not close to us. We went up there and i could tell something was wrong because he kept rubbing his pocket. Then he couldnt wait anymore, he finally asked me. I really wasn’t surprised when he did it. But i still cried and i was super happy. I wouldnt ask for it to happen any other way. (May 15, 2011)

    Post # 109
    6 posts
    • Wedding: October 2012

    @ForeverAndEverAfter:  We were together for 5 years prior to getting engaged, I knew it was coming eventually, but I was surprised when he actually did it nonetheless lol

    Post # 110
    612 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2018

    mine cant surprise me for nothing lol

    and we were at opposite ends of the country so we had to deliver our rings by post haha i knew it all!

    Post # 111
    150 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2014

    my bloke and i bought our house in Sept last year, and id been teasing him about marriage since we moved in.

    his reply was always ill do it in my own time and when i feel its right to do it.

    so i left it at that – so when he got down on one knee on Christmas morning i was totally gob smacked! loved the timing and loved the ring, he chose it by himself and its perfect, and means even more to me because the ring was of his choosing.


    Post # 113
    434 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    @JennyDawn:  I totally agree. I still like the idea of a proposal but more as a romantic gesture than a question one doesn’t know the answer to. I was taught early on to never expect someone to read my mind and I don’t, especially when it comes to something as hugely important as marriage.

    I’m not engaged yet but we picked out the stone and setting together. I know every detail about it, including what the final product looks like (he couldn’t resist and sent me a picture). I think he’ll still try to make the actual proposal a bit of a surprise just so we have something cute to tell our friends but most likely, I’ll know exactly when it’s coming!

    Post # 114
    4996 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    @KatyElle:  I so agree! Marriage is an important decision two adults make after lots of consideration. I’m not into the tradition that the man gets to decide when the couple is ready, you should decide together. That being said, the proposal was still a surprise for me, but our decision to get engaged was not. 

    Post # 115
    721 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I voted “other” We talked about it a lot and I basically picked out my ring. I also knew the timeline it was going to happen in and he waited until almost the end of it so it was basically a “this could happen at any time” type of thing. BUT I was still super surprised when he did it. I mean, obviously I knew it would happen eventually and even though there was a given timeframe he was still able to surprise me.

    Post # 116
    561 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    We’d talked marriage before, which is important so you know both people feel the same about your life plans and feelings. I had no idea however when he was going to propose, or how, or what my ring was going to be like. I wouldn’t have it any other way!

    Post # 117
    22 posts
    • Wedding: March 2013

    Other – I knew EVERYTHING but somehow he was able to completely blindside me with the proposal!  We had the ring shipped to my parents house out of state (to save on taxes) and I knew he had the ring (I tried it on hours before he proposed!) I was CONVINCED he was not going to propose while we were at my parents’ for the weekend, but he ddi and totally surprised me! It was perfect!

    Post # 118
    267 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: May 2013 - Canal St Inn

    My fiance and I had been joking about getting married for a while, but I didn’t think he was serious. Eventually he asked me if he got me a ring, would I say yes. So he tried for a while to hide when he was going to officially ask me, all the while, I was getting ready to start wedding-planning mode. One day, after getting exasperated that I couldn’t move forward with any planning, he gave me a hug, and asked “How about you ask me?” So I propsed to him. 🙂 and he ran to go and get the ring, after telling me for days that it’s “on the way.” It was in his desk the whole time. So the only real surprise was the ring; it’s in the shape of a fleur-de-lis, which is perfect because I’m from New Orleans, we met there,etc. But I kind of had an idea that it would be in that shape. I love him SO much…

    Post # 119
    1174 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We had talked about getting engaged and I knew it was coming within the next year. I knew he was starting to look at rings & he had me show him styles I liked & didn’t like. He proposed way sooner than I expected! He could tell I knew he was looking at rings so he definitely tried to throw me off! He even told me he was nervous about the size of my finger and he wanted me to go to get sized. I was really not expecting him to propose when he did! I was really happy to be surprised though. I didn’t want to know when it was coming 🙂 I was so happy with the way our proposal was!

    Post # 120
    13 posts
    • Wedding: September 2012

    i chose ‘other’ because my story is a little weird.  My boyfriend (at the time) and I had been together for about a year and a half and we had talked about getting married.  We already lived together and had for about a year.  He’d even told me that I should go get sized so that he knew “just in case”. He knew that I loved solitaire round diamonds, but that’s because so many of my friends had other rings and I’m not one to keep my opinions to myself in private.  Ahem.  

    One day in June last year I get a text from my aunt at midnight telling me that my cousin, who is seven years younger than me, just got engaged.  I knew I was supposed to be happy for him, but being 31, it was difficult, so I texted her back and just said, “Congrats to him!” and that was it.  After a bit, I got a text back that said, “Your day is soon.  You’re in our prayers”.  I didn’t think much of it because I figured she knew I was upset and they come from an uber religious family, so I stopped crying to my sister via text and went to sleep.

    About a week and a half later, my boyfriend came home to me feeling really bad for myself on the couch (aka crying my eyes out like a little girl) because my “little” cousin that I had told a long time ago not to get married before me was getting married before me.  He kept trying to make me feel better by telling me that my day would come and that it would be my turn to show off my ring soon, but it didn’t work.  After a little while he left the room for a minute and when he came back he said, “I was going to do this next week when we were on vacation, but….” and I opened my eyes and saw the box and him down on his knee and immediately told him to stop what he was doing.  He kept trying to propose then, but I told him that if he had something else planned, I wanted him to go ahead and do what he had planned.

    That week I had to wait before we went out of town was the longest week of my life.  Coworkers were asking me if I thought it would happen while we were away and I answered with, “I don’t know.  We’ll see”.  So, my proposal was part surprise and part not.  I knew that it was going to happen on our vacation, but only because my depression* over my cousin getting engaged before me ruined the surprise.  And as it turns out, my aunt did know my day was coming soon, because my fiance had asked my dad for my hand in marriage, and he let it slip when my cousin got engaged.

    *Before you think I was overreacting to my cousin’s engagement, you should know that at this point in my life, I actually was battling depression. It’s now under control, thanks to that lovely little pill I take every morning.  I love you, little white pill.

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