(Closed) Were you there when your pet died?

posted 8 years ago in Pets
Post # 17
Member
3774 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: December 2004

We were there when our Labrador Retriever was put to sleep.  It was extremely painful but I looked in his eyes the whole time and he in mine.  Max knowing that I was there is priceless to me.  I would have hated for him to drift away wondering where his people were.  He gave us years of love and loyalty and I owed him to be there.

Post # 18
Member
8470 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

I know how you feel.  My heart goes out to you.  My dog was taking seizures and the vet literally was like there is nothing else we can do.  He was a lab mix, 17 years old, and I didn’t watch as he put him down, my mom did.. My brother and I were at the side, then when it was over, we hugged and kissed him.  I ran home crying.  I missed 3 days of work. 

I’m glad I didn’t see the actual shot, but I’m glad I got to give him that one last hug and kiss.  Maybe you can do that.

Post # 19
Member
111 posts
Blushing bee

We had our cat for 14 years. He was my guy – he always slept with me, followed me around, stayed up with me when I was studying. We were very very close. I loved him very much.

I took him to the emergency vet when he suddenly had difficulty breathing and we were told that he had cancer throughout his body. He had been misdiagnosed a few months earlier with pancreatitis (and was being medicated for that). I begged the vet to do anything he could to save my guy’s life – it didn’t matter what it would cost, I would do anything. We had to put him down the next day.

I held him when he died. I wasn’t planning on it because I knew I wouldn’t be able to handle it. But the vet simply handed him over to me (he could probably tell that I was closest to him). To this day I count it as the worst day of my life. I can’t even begin to express the heartbreak I felt as his body went limp. But I knew right then that I would have completely regretted not holding him in his last moments for the rest of my life. I also found peace in being able to ask him to wait for me.

It will be incredibly tough, my heart is going out to you <3

Post # 20
Member
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Im so sorry you have to go through this. I had to put my 14 year old dog down earlier this year, and as much as it was hard to stay with her it was the best thing I could have done. Me and my mum were there with her, and as previous posts say they get two shots one to make them fall asleep and then the last one. Just try to stay calm so she doesn’t feel you’re stressed.. It is really hard but I think you might regret it later on if you don’t stay with her till the end 🙁 hope you are going to be ok! Enjoy the time you have with her, and if you need some support after come here! Lots of hugs

Post # 21
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Don’t think of me a bad person, but I couldn’t be there. I was a wreck, and thinking back I feel like I deserted her. I hope she didnt think that. 

Post # 22
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

in my lifetime we have had a total of 6 cats (2 of them are still living), I was at the Vets but not in the office for the first that we had to put to sleep (Raisin), I found the next one in her favorite spot (April) and I knew she had gone, the next one (Red) was put to sleep while I was away, and Kitty passed away in my arms after I gave her a bath since she hadn’t been cleaning herself. It’s tough either way, you can say your goodbyes before, or hold them until It’s over. It all depends what you feel you can handle. Whatever you decide, I’m sorry you have to go through this, but your little one will be in a better place and no longer suffering. 

Post # 23
Member
5656 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

Aw man everyone’s responses are making me think of “A Dog’s Purpose” (a great book if you’re a dog lover btw). 🙁

I’m so sorry about your pet, my heart goes out to you. It’s really hard, but it’s the right thing to do. I think you’ll feel better overall if you’re there to say goodbye to her.

Post # 24
Member
3063 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Luckily, my cat is only 7 years old and I haven’t had to experience that yet and I am dreading the day I will. I cannot imagine not being there with him though, no matter how badly it would hurt my heart.

My husband had to put down his dog about three years ago and I was there with him. Although I had only known his dog for a few years it was still very hard for me and obviously even harder for my hubby. The dog helped him through the saddness of his parent’s divorce among other things. It was peaceful though. The vet came to the house and his dog was surrounded by his family (hubby, me, hubby’s mom), he had a bone with peanut butter inside, and he was in his backyard. It was incredibly heartbreaking, but it was the best way to go. Especially after his years of suffering terrible arthritis and a tumor.

Best of luck. I am so sorry you have to do this and I hope you’re heart will heal sooner than later. 

Post # 25
Member
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

We had to put our cat down recently. It was one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do but I couldn’t imagine not being there. My face was the last thing that he saw before he went to sleep and I think that’s the way it should have been. Maybe it would have been easier for me to have not been there but I couldn’t do that to him.

Post # 26
Member
2606 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2009

We’ve had a lot of pets.  Consequently, we’ve had to put a lot of pets to sleep.  When I was 10, we put our family dog to sleep.  My mom couldn’t handle being in the room, so she and my dad made the decision that I wouldn’t be there either.  To this day I regret not being there and resent my parents for not allowing me to choose for myself, (I don’t hate my parents, just hate that particular action).  I still feel bad, thinking back on it almost 20 years later, that we just took her to the vet and left her there.  I don’t regret the decision to euthanize her, she was in quite a bit of pain, but I do wish that we had been there with her.

I’ve been there with three cats and a dog since then.  It’s always been very peaceful, and I personally feel like you owe it to your pet to be there in their final moments.  If a close human family member were dying, most of us would do our best to be there; I think we owe our animal family members the same courtesy.  DH’s cat was our most recent loss, and he couldn’t handle being there, so I had to go instead, (and then be questioned as to whether or not I had his consent, etc, but that’s another story).  

I recently found out there is a place near us that offers in-home euthanasia.  I had heard of such places before, but did not know there was a place in our area that would do this, or I would most definitely have made that choice for our pets.  

Also, there is a local photographer that offers what she calls “Joy Sessions” for pets (and their human families) when the pet has reached the end of its life.  She is very flexible with her schedule to accomodate last minute appointments, and offers a reduced rate for Joy Sessions (as opposed to normal pet photography sessions) so owners can have high-quality keepsake photos of their pet.  I don’t know where you live, but you could see if a photographer near you does something similiar.  At the very least, I would recommend taking pictures of her yourself, and preferably some with you and other important family members.  

So sorry you are going through this!  It’s never easy, even when you know with 100% certainty that you are making the right decision.

Post # 27
Member
1289 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

My wonderful kitten, Toby, was diagnosed with FIP.  He didn’t even live to a year old.  He was suffering so much and had to be put down.  I was there holding him and I kept eye contact with my little baby the entire time.  It was the most painful experience of my life but I needed to be there for him. I won’t tell you it’s easy, but I felt very strongly about being that last thing he saw before he passed.  I used to tell him that he was the best cat that ever was, is, or will be.  I loved him so much…and now I’m crying. :/

Post # 29
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee

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@MrsCreeToBe:  Aww, so sorry.

Yes, you made the right choice.

You didn’t fail her, you gave her the best gift she could ever have–a peaceful transition and an end to her suffering surrounded by your love.

The Rainbow Bridge

Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow Bridge. 

When an animal dies that has been especially close to someone here, that pet goes to Rainbow Bridge. 
There are meadows and hills for all of our special friends so they can run and play together. 
There is plenty of food, water and sunshine, and our friends are warm and comfortable. 

All the animals who had been ill and old are restored to health and vigor; those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and strong again, just as we remember them in our dreams of days and times gone by. 
The animals are happy and content, except for one small thing; they each miss someone very special to them, who had to be left behind. 

They all run and play together, but the day comes when one suddenly stops and looks into the distance. His bright eyes are intent; His eager body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group, flying over the green grass, his legs carrying him faster and faster. 

You have been spotted, and when you and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in joyous reunion, never to be parted again. The happy kisses rain upon your face; your hands again caress the beloved head, and you look once more into the trusting eyes of your pet, so long gone from your life but never absent from your heart. 

Then you cross Rainbow Bridge together…. 

Post # 30
Member
3623 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

My family’s first dog, we were all there as he died of what I guess was a heart attack. It was so sad. We knew he wasn’t doing well that morning, my mom called the vet, and before we knew it, he was dying on the dining room floor. It was really sad. 

When my bird died, I was away on vacation, and my poor neighbor who was watching the bird had to have it euthanized suddenly while we were out of town (long story). That must have been really traumatic for my neighbor. 

Post # 31
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

View original reply
@MrsCreeToBe:  So sorry to hear this. I literally have tears in my eyes while typing. Just know that the end doesnt sum up your life with her. You had a lifetime of love and fun and wonderful memories. I always feel such gratitude that these little creatures chose to spend their life with us. They teach us so much. Find a way to honor her in a way that feels good to you. I had a little ceremony for my cat when she passed, just me and my fiance. And I read a letter that I wrote to her. It really helped, though I sobbed uncontrollably. It will take time, but it will start to get easier. 

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