(Closed) Were You Trying?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
Member
143 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

What I hear a lot of people say is, “We were open to having kids.”  It’s vague enough yet it answers their question. 

Post # 5
Member
832 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2010

When they ask if you were trying…you could say “every night” πŸ™‚ haha i think that would catch me off guard!! but i think its rude for people to ask that too!!

Post # 6
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee

<asked innocently> are you TRYING to be rude ?

Post # 7
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2007

I love CANNOTWAIT’s response πŸ™‚ 

Honesty is best.  Some people might not realize how rude/insensitive that question really is!

Post # 8
Member
1854 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

“Nah, I have no idea how it got there”

Post # 9
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

Ok, so you totally just confirmed my worst fear! People actually do ask if you were trying?? We haven’t started telling anyone yet, but what an awkward conversation. I have never asked a newly pregnant friend/coworker/family member if they were trying or not. What do you do if this comes up at work? I have a feeling some of my (nosy!) coworkers might ask…I feel like my response will be unprofessional no matter how I put it.

Post # 10
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

I think it is really invasive for people to ask too! I think the only time it is ok is if you have a friend who is trying to get pregnant and they want to know about what you did, or how long it took or whatever.  Then I don’t mind at all.  But for people to just ask?  Its weird.  Although I have to say very few people have actually just asked me that question out of the blue.

Post # 11
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

yikes… i think i might be guilty of this kinda! i don’t think i’ve ever said that… but i think i have said “was this expected?” It wasn’t meant to be rude… but more kind of “how am i supposed to respond to this?”. Obviously if someone tells me and they’re all happy/glowy/excited then i’m just all OOOO CONGRATS!! but if you get kind of a flat “i’m pregnant” then you’re not sure if you’re supposed to be like “congrats” or like “it’ll be ok!” 

Of course none of my friends are married so i guess its a more delicate issue there πŸ™‚

Post # 12
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@corgi – well if it was one of my best friends then I wouldn’t mind! But I think this goes more towards work colleagues and people you know vs. good friends or family (although I don’t really like when some ppl in my family ask either!)

Post # 13
Member
11325 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@janna- well i’ll definitely not ask again πŸ™‚ but yea i understand. I would never say “are you trying” bc thats like saying “have you been having a lot of unprotected sex intentionally lately?” which ummm is just more info than i need haha. Of course I also don’t love when my cousins announce (and they do) that they’re “trying.” TMI! Surprise me! lol. But I’m weird i guess πŸ™‚ 

Post # 14
Member
2695 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2008

@corgi – too funny! And I totally agree. we didn’t tell anyone we were trying – much better to tell them when you are pregnant! surprise factor is much better that way πŸ™‚ and the invasive questions on “how is it going” don’t happen eiher!

Post # 15
Member
93 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

We have had a surprising amount of people ask us if we are trying or when we plan to as well! People, we will tell you when we are ready to! Don’t force me to lie to your face. The other night, one of my cousins was (jokingly) trying to get the information out of us. He was like, “you actually SMELL pregnant.” When I told him that being able to smell a pregnancy was quite a talent and that he should be able to make money with that ability, he was all “so you ARE pregnant? I was right??” Little does he know….

Post # 16
Member
2007 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

Hah!  I like Mrs. Menard’s “every night!” response the best.  It would totally throw people off.  Though I can see how you maybe wouldn’t want to use it in every situation, they were nosy enough to ask in the first place!  πŸ™‚ 

I’m usually pretty curious about this but I try really hard not to ask.  Word usually gets around anyways.  Which is actually one of the reasons I’ll probably allow it to be known that it’s a possibility.  It’s damn near impossible to keep anything quiet in J’s family.  Or with his friends.  πŸ™‚

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