Were your family and friends supportive of you taking your Husband's name?

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

It wasn’t hard for me to change my name, I’d always hated my maiden name and felt no connection to it. In fact, one of the things that I looked foward to about marriage was being able to get rid of it. 

Nobody was surprised, though pretty much everyone I know has changed their name so it’s what is expected. 

Post # 3
3741 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2019 - City, State

My family were very supportive. No pro & con list, i always planned to take my husbands name. Everyone in my family takes their hubby’s name though, so it wasnt a surprise. I WAS happy to go back to my maiden name after my divorce but if/when I remarry, i will take my new husbands name. 

Post # 4
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

My Mother-In-Law seemed shocked that I said I am going to take my Fiance last name. I think it is because weddings are foreign to her and she never did get married or change her name. I think my dad won’t care, but might be a little hurt since I am an only child. My Fiance said multiple times that it is OK to keep my last name and up to me.

However, I’m not married yet so who knows what unexpected reactions people might make, so I’m just forseeing what I think might happen.

Post # 5
12119 posts
Sugar Beekeeper

It’s a personal decision that every woman should make for herself. My family would have been supportive either way, but they were not surprised I took H’s name. Having the same name as my spouse and future children was important to me. 

Post # 6
62 posts
Worker bee

My parents divorced when I was little and when I got older my mom often lamented to me about how she missed her maiden name. For the sake of having the same last name as us kids and also since she immigrated with that name and it would be more complicated to change it back, she was going to keep it. 

When I got engaged she recommended that I not bother to change it and just keep my maiden name and when we first got engaged last year I was super on the fence as I really do love my maiden name and my FI’s last name is muuuucchhhh longer. However, as the wedding draws closer I have definitely had a change of hard and really like the idea of becoming a family unit with Fiance and part of that for me is the name change. So I decided I’m going to do it and so far everyone who knows has been very accepting, even my mum.

In the end though, it’s whatever you feel is right for you. I never made a pro or con list, just really thought about it for almost a year and a half now.

Post # 7
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My mom was very against me changing my name.  I personally was on the fence and Fiance said he didn’t care.  I ended up hyphenating as a compromise and everyone seems happy.  At the end of the day it’s your name and you have to live with it for (presumably) the rest of your life.  Do what YOU want.

Post # 8
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

My parents and family seemed to accept/expect that I would take his last name, although I’m sure they would have been equally happy for me to keep my maiden name or hyphenate them. I’m not sure how my in-laws would have felt if I had kept it the same though, but I doubt they would have said anything to me directly (and I was never considering it anyways). The ony negative comments I’ve gotten have been from friends that I’m not super close to or random co-workers, which didn’t really bother me. 

Post # 9
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I don’t think they cared. I had a hypenated maiden name and it was sooo annoying. 

Post # 10
1053 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: City, State

The majority of women I know changed their last name when they got married. So I don’t expect much push back when I change my name. I haven’t yet when stating my intention to change it.

Post # 11
1303 posts
Bumble bee

Not married yet but I intend on taking my FI’s last name.  My parents haven’t said anything either way.  Most of the women in my family have taken their husband’s name so it’s not really a topic that comes up.  My aunt though kept her maiden name because she married a bit older and already had her career established with her maiden name but when her daughter got married, she didn’t push her to keep her maiden name.

I see that on these boards this is a topic that can be very emotional for some people.  I don’t get worked up about my name so it’s hard for me to see why it’s such a big deal, but no one should feel pressured to change their name if they don’t want to.  Conversely no one should feel like they need to keep their maiden name to please their parents.

Post # 12
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

I’m not married yet either, but it’s a total non-issue. Women keeping their names are in the minority here, and I’ve always planned on taking his name. No one has so much as made a comment to me about it except to observe what my new initials will be. 

Post # 13
6605 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

olliebear7 :  I can’t fathom why anyone would care if I changed my name or not.  Supportiveness from family/friends didn’t even cross my mind.  I’m sure they all assumed I would, I’d been making jokes at work for years that he needed to hurry up b/c no one could spell or pronounce my original last name.  And in my family, changing names is just something you do; we don’t get hung up on it… I’ve met one person in my entire life who didn’t (that I knew enough to know they didn’t).

Post # 14
1940 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

It’s weird. I live in the south, and we’re very traditional here. Everyone changes their names, and it’s rare to see someone who doesn’t. My mom changed hers when she got married, and my SIL changed hers when she married my brother, yet my mom wanted me to keep, hyphenate, or make my maiden name my middle name. I have brothers, so there’s really no need for me to carry the name down. I think it’s just one more sign of her resistance to my getting married at all. I’m taking his last name when we get married this year, and I’m not keeping my maiden name in any form.

Post # 15
661 posts
Busy bee

I plan to take my fiance’s last name, no one has really mentioned it. However, most women (starting with my grandmother, actually) in our family have made their maiden name their middle name. I really don’t care for my maiden name, and I love my middle name, so I’m just scrapping the maiden name entirely – that decision got some raised eyebrows, but nothing more than that. 

Leave a comment

Find Amazing Vendors