- 5 years ago
- Wedding: June 2015
We currently live overseas, and are from two very different areas of the country (think Michigan and California). We are in my hometown for the holidays and this is where we’ve decided to get married so we’ve been looking at wedding packages and venues online with my parents and have our first venue tour this weekend.
His parents seem very happy that we’re engaged (we saw them this holiday too) but his mother must have said ‘it’s so early/you have tons of time/i can’t believe you’re thinking about this already’ 15 times in person, email, on facetime etc.
we’re planning a june 2015 wedding and in a week we’ll be back overseas! we’ve explained that we’d like a date and venue before we leave so that we can chill out and not worry about those two big things while we finish grad school. she continues to repeat this…it’s getting wierd. there’s no reason we should wait, we’ve been together 6.5 years and we’re finishing grad school in 6 months, and we’re both 25.
am i crazy? it’s not like we’ve been talking non stop wedding, but we’re trying to keep both sets of parents included and in the loop and i thought we were being respectful by mentioning the venue search to them in case they had concerns, budget guidance, whatever. it’s not a money issue as they are quite wealthy and offered us a down payment for a home when we return from overseas, so they are happy to make other expensive permanent decisions with us.
last night on facetime, she said the same ‘this is way too early to worry about this’ and then followed it up with ‘why don’t you get married in x major city an hour away? it would be more convenient for your travelling guests and you’d have more choices of venue’. i know i’m being a bit sensitive, but that made me so mad! we’ve already explained why we’re getting here, found 3 venues we’re really excited about, and we’re trying to include them, and instead of that, she’s ignorning everything we say and proposing a whole new city (that we have NO connection to) an hour away – why?! on top of that, it’s NOT more convenient, we have an airport here, the hotels are cheaper…i could go on.
it’s starting to really upset me and more importantly, my fiancé. he can’t understand why she won’t just get on board, and even if she wasn’t super in to it, just stop complaining. even if we were looking for a venue really early (we’re 18 months out) – so what? why would that be a big deal?
i’m just out of ideas of how to include them if the only comments they (she) have are negative or generally ‘call me in a year’. at this point we’re just not going to bring it up, and hopefully they’ll have some time to get used to the idea or at least come up with something better to say.
anyone have some insight for me?