(Closed) what about the girls who AREN'T bridesmaids??

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

perhaps you can have some of them do a reading, say grace, hand out programs, greet your guests, be your doc, etc.

Post # 4
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I had the same dilemma and I actually sent out invites for “Honorary Bridesmaids”. I do not have any specific duties for them and am not having them wear a certain dress/colors, but I did place their pics on the website and will include them on the program. I still wanted people to know these girls were special to me. 

Post # 5
Member
1902 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

I think they should understand. If there were only one or two who were left out, then you might need to find some way to include them, but to try and include all 20 is going to be pretty hard! Imagine how long your ceremony would take with 15 people doing readings!! With so many of them not being bridesmaids, they’re not likely to feel excluded. But while they may not be ‘official’ bridesmaids, I think you can still have them involved in bridesmaid-y stuff, like dress shopping, hen’s night, etc. If you’re all as close as you think, then they should understand Smile

Post # 6
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Maybe a few of them could split a reading. 

Another couple could split a speech or toast.

Post # 7
Member
2009 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Another couple do guest book together.

Programs for a couple of them.

Splitting the duties to a group, basically.

Post # 9
Hostess
7561 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Personally, I don’t like “b-list” jobs like handing out programs. I would rather be a regular guest. You know your friends though, do you think that would be something they’re interested in? Regardless of what roles they end up with, you should tell them you feel bad about not being able to pick them. 

Post # 10
Member
7735 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

If it’s a group of 20 friends – and they all know that – then they’re really not going to be offended if they don’t have a role. I don’t like “honorary bridesmaids”, it’s a second class role. Similar for guest book attendant. Doing a reading is a nice role but you can’t have 15 readings!

I think the way to include them is to make sure they are all at the bachelorette party, if you are having one. The modern trend seems to be small expensive bachelorette parties (e.g. just the bride and bridesmaids); but I suggest encourage whoever’s organising it to make sure all your close friends are invited.

Post # 12
Member
7902 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

@AlwaysSunny:  agreed, plus how are yu goig to find such tasks for 15 people?

Post # 13
Member
224 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think honorary bridesmaids are what you make of it. It isn’t customary in my region so everyone is excited they are still a part of my wedding (albeit indirectly). They will still attend all parties just no monetary expectations.

Post # 14
Member
106 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I have the same problem.. not quite 20 girls, but there are at least 6 who I would like to have as bridesmaids but just don’t have the room!

I really love the idea of the ‘honorary bridesmaids’ – did the groom have ‘honorary groomsmen’ as well? Did they have special duties (other than handing out programs etc.) on the day, or were they involved more in the prep?

 

Post # 15
Member
4152 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I went to one wedding where all the girls who couldn’t be actual bridesmaids but were close to the bride were asked to wear a specific colour (happened to be the same colour as the BP)

Post # 16
Member
1813 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

There’s a nice tradition in Greece where you give all your female friends a charm to wear.  I made simple little wrist ties with a diamante heart and ribbons for each of my friends to wear. The heart had a clasp at the back so some wore them on their wrists, others pinned them to their dress and others onto their bags. 

I also invited them all to the house, along with all the guests from my side (around 40 of my nearest and dearest) to have some champagne, canapes with my family and I and then to all walk together to the church.  iT was actually one of my favourite moments of the day, and one of my favourite picture which is not of Darling Husband and I, walking with all my close friends and family with me on the way to the church.

 

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