(Closed) What about the kids in the wedding party?

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I personally would invite the children to the reception.  Have some activities for them to do (i.e. coloring).  They are a part of the wedding and should partake for the whole part.  If you dont’ want to include them for the reception, then maybe you shouldn’t include them in the ceremony.

Post # 4
47414 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

There are way too many variables for there to be only one answer to this question:

-the time of the wedding

-how many hours between the ceremony and the reception

-the time of day that the reception starts

-the age of the children

-will their parents be able to forgo excessive alcohol intake to monitor their children’s behavior

I have seen many weddings where the children attended until dinner was over, then were either taken home by their parents, picked up by a sitter, or taken to a suite in the hotel where the bride had arranged childcare.

I have also been to weddings where the children were  perfectly behaved throughout the evening and unfortunately others, where the children were left to run wild through the reception by parents who completely ignored them.

Post # 5
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My sister & I just had this conversation. My daughter & stepson will be attending our reception, we really want to celebrate with our kids. But for my sisters wedding (my daughters the flower girl for hers too) she will be there for pictures & going to my best friends house for the night.

Post # 6
1269 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I would have to ask how you know these children.  As the parent of the children, I would rather they not be in the wedding then have to leave the venue to take them home. 

Post # 8
65 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I guess it depends on your relationship to the kids. My FH and I have a few nieces and nephews (more nephews) but we decided early on that we would keep the wedding adults-only. We’re happy to have them at the rehearsal dinner, but it’s also been my experience that if you give the parents lots of advance notice about everything, the parents have a great time! We’re also planning on offering babysitting service during the wedding at one of the hotel rooms to make things easier. It would be cute and nice to have a ring bearer (or three in our case…) but I think at the end of the day it’s kind of stressful for the kids at times and the parents appreciate having a night off if you help them out with babysitting.

Post # 9
1965 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

If there wont be any other kids they will be bored.  My sisters wedding wont have a single kid there. My daughter would be the only one & she’ll be 3. Its just better to send her with her “aunt” to have a sleep over with her “cousins”.

Post # 11
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I think you need to take into account the personalities of the children (if you know). Some children prefer the company of adults. Some are very self sufficient and don’t require anything more than a video game or book to keep them occupied. 

Post # 12
3048 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Yea I think it’s rude to invite them to the ceremony and then send them home. They need food too 🙂 Talk to him and ask him if it’s really that bad to have two kids at the reception. Believe me, I don’t want ANY kids, but for the sake of keeping my in-laws happy there will be a few.

Post # 13
520 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - Italiano\'s Humble

I think it would be rude, to not at least feed them. Then, designate someone who may want to babysit at the venue(Niece/nephew or a friends older kid), allowing for the AO stuff to start.

My son(and FH’s son if he’s able to come), will be involved in the late night ceremony. However, since dinner will be held before the actual festivities and ceremony, after a few pictures and cake, and mother/son dance, my son will be going inside to go to bed. MAYBE. My son is pretty self sufficient, even at 4. and he listens well, and LOVES my brother and sister playing with him(bro will be 15, sis will be 19), so I’m considering asking them to take my son back to my house when they leave, or since our house is ten minutes from MOH’s house(where event is), having my sis take the boys home and come back, since my bro would love the guy time with my son(who’s like his spitting image lol).

Otherwise, we’re sticking to AO. Not that I think it would matter, as only our 2 sons, & his “stepbrother” would probably be the only kids. My Out of Town Maid/Matron of Honor is considering it an AO vacay lol, and my Maid/Matron of Honor who’s home we’re using, is sending her son off for the night, so she can actually have adult fun(she’s with her 3 kids about 22 hours of the day, so she’s excited about the sitter, but it shocked me!).

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