(Closed) What about this whole “cougar” thing?

posted 11 years ago in 40 Something
Post # 17
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Excuse the vernacular, but I’m just so effin pleased to finally HAVE a place to discuss this mess. As a 40 yr old bride, I swear I spend half my time reading forums and wondering if I’m the last (and only) of my kind and trying not to get peeved when I see a (very) young bride getting upset over stuff I’ve long since learned to turn a blind eye toward.

My fiance is 28 and won’t be 29 until May. I just turned 40 in November. I lucked out in the genes and ethnicity department and no one ever knows we aren’t “chronologically compatible” until I say something. He never does. He hates even thinking about the difference since he says people think twentysomethings have no life experience. But thats a discussion for another time. I’ve tried telling him I’M the one whose supposed to be sensitive about my age, but evidently he didn’t get the memo.

ANYway, yea I hate the “cougar” thing. The double standard it reinforces is irritating. WE need a special name whereas men well into their fifties or even sixties have been scooping up sweet young thangs forever and never got more than a few raised eyebrows.

I think it’s the judgements that bug me most…the way people seem to assume certain things, the first being that I’M bothered by the age difference or some how couldn’t attract a man my own age or I’m some how settling. Beyond irritating.

Post # 19
6350 posts
Bee Keeper

But when you’re young and dating an older man they call you a gold digger… Can’t win!

Post # 21
5785 posts
Bee Keeper

It used to be called a May/December romance. When one of the couple is in the ‘Spring’ of their life(May), and one is in the ‘Winter’ (December) or there is a significant age difference….been around for ages! It used to be gender related (older men, younger women) and the ages were at least a decade apart and were known to raise eyebrows.

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