(Closed) What about waiting makes YOU so crazy?

posted 4 years ago in Waiting
Post # 16
Member
98 posts
Worker bee

I agree with most everyone else.

For me- it’s definitely also a mix of things.  Definitely people asking why he hasn’t proposed yet..it’s quite annoying and frustrating to answer without looking depressed and pissed off.

I know we shouldn’t compare our relationships to others, but seeing new postings about engaged couples who’ve been together for much less time is definitely hard to let roll off the shoulders sometimes.

Also, we’re talked about it many times and I still don’t quite understand his reasons for why he doesn’t feel ready (we’ve been together for almost 7 years). But I’m over here just patiently waiting for the day.

Post # 17
Member
55 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
daxsymbiote :  Thats the sort of thing that drives me nuts too. SO spends a lot of $$ on himself and often makes me wonder if he’s put aside some money for my ring 🙁

Post # 18
Member
31 posts
Newbee

A combination of things for me! Firstly I’m a planner. I plan EVERYTHING. So not knowing his plan is probably the hardest thing for me. I’m also finding it hard to look forward to things because I dread that sinking feeling when you realise it isn’t going to happen on that trip/ at that meal etc. I am also struggling with not knowing when we will take that next step. We have made decisions as a couple for almost 6 years, so why do I have to sit on the fence and wait for him to make this one? (I’ve asked him that and unfortunatly the pressures of society and tradition are obviously too overwhelming for him). The end result is we will be engaged and we can start planning out wedding, which is all I want, so it’s not worth me pushing for him to do it in a way he isn’t comfortable with. I don’t want him to look back on it with any bad feelings! 

An added frustration is knowing that he is not great at planning things and drags his feet/ procrastinates a lot generally and that he might not see perfect opportunities in the way I do. I know he has the ring. We designed it together then he lied about it not being ready for a few weeks but I found it in November. I haven’t told him I found it but he has since confirmed that he has it. I know my parents blessing is important to him but they live 100 miles away so I would totally know if he was going to see them too and I know he wants it to be a surprise. 

Post # 19
Member
3095 posts
Sugar bee

Frustration. I’m so tired of being asked “did you guys get engaged yet?”.  Every time we go on a trip (and we travel often). The funny thing is, a lot of our travel is for business.  We are in the same industry and often wind up at the same conferences and industry events.  Obviously, we are not going to get engaged while on separate business trips to the same location, but not all my relatives seem to u deist and that!  Not to mention, I get flooded with “are you engaged?” Questions after most holidays and anytime I talk to certain friends/relatives. 

Theres also the frustration if wondering if we will be able to book my dream venue or not.  They don’t take many weddings and only specific times of year.  i worry that with every month that goes by, someone else gets “my” date.

On the bright side, we had a timeline talk and it will be sometime by the end of 2017.

Post # 20
Member
4226 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Hotel Ballroom

I remember getting frustrated because couples who started dating after we did were getting engaged and married. I know it’s not a good idea to compare yourself to others, but it still irked me!

To be 100% honest I started thinking he was NEVER going to propose…and to make a long story short I actually had one foot out the door when he finally did pop the question. A small part of me will always wonder if he only proposed to keep me from leaving :-/

Post # 21
Member
293 posts
Helper bee

We’ve been dating for about four years, and I am and have been ready for the next step. AND, I’ve known about the ring (in our closet) for a year and eight months!

Post # 22
Member
127 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

For me its the fact that he has the ring, I know what said ring looks like and both of our familes already asume we will be married someday. His sister and I are super close, to her I am her SIL already. We live together, share money and have built a life together. All we need is that oh so important paper to make it offical. We both want this and he wants to make a big deal about the proposal and I just want the proposal! I’m hoping he does it at the end of March, our 5 year aniversary!

Post # 23
Member
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2018

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an0nabee :   I agree about comparison . The couples this week have been together less time and are largely 20/21.

Post # 24
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee

I know this thread is a bit old but I stumbled upon it…

I agree with PP that a big part of it is that I like to plan things and look forward to them! This is something I can’t do that for.

It’s also annoying that I get indirect messages from my friends and family that maybe he’s “just not that into me”. My mom has started having anxiety and when I reassure her that we have talked about it and he’s told me that it will happen she starts saying “well how long ago did he say that?” implying that maybe he has changed his mind. She also suggested that I get a personal trainer because apparently a friend of hers told her that several young women she knows got personal trainers and BOOM their boyfriends proposed. Great, thanks Mom. 

Post # 25
Member
178 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

Wanting to start and live life together… We’re a devout religious couple, and in long distance, it broke my heart everytime we got together, and when we separated.

Less than 4 months now, and we never have to say goodbye anymore 🙂

Post # 26
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: City, State

View original reply
poppinbottles :  This!!!!! My parents tell me all the time that my BF hasn’t proposed because he’s “just not that into me”. They also tell me that I need to tone up and hit the gym more so that he’ll be more motivated to propose 🙁

Post # 27
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

Omg, it is so nice to have discovered a sisterhood of you all in the same situation. I felt so alone before I discovered these boards. 

Mine is a mix of what everyone else has listed. I especially hate that I am at that age where people are starting to assume that I’m married and they ask about my husband or fiance and I have to correct them (hello, no ring!) lol. 

I also hate that I feel trapped. I have been successful in all other areas of my life except for this one. I have worked hard and achieved success, but I have no power here. I want this so bad, but it is all on him. I have paidoff all my debt and am considering buying a house, but I don’t want to buy if I am about to marry him (he has his own place) so I am stuck in limbo… I am a planner, and I can’t plan for when that elusive “ready” feeling will strike him.. so for now, I take solace with my sisters on the waiting board as we comiserate and try not to push it. 

Post # 28
Member
62 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2017

And oh my God, seeing your exes get engaged/married before you is the WORST!

Post # 29
Member
132 posts
Blushing bee

With me it’s absolutely frustrating because a co-worker started dating her guy very soon after I started dating my guy and they are getting married this coming August. It feels like he is playing games with me because he recently told me he has my ring it arrived a short time ago yet he hasn’t proposed to me yet. He knows I don’t need a big public proposal that I am low-key so he doesn’t have to plan some big to do. I’m actually starting to not care if he asks me or not. 

Post # 30
Member
780 posts
Busy bee

I’m generally not the best with surprises and I think just the anxiety of such a major life change/event and all the attention being on me kinda. It was such a rollercoaster of emotion! So excited and happy but also part of me was sad like officially “leaving” my family if you want to call it that?

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