What age do you consider to be too young to have your first child and too old?

posted 2 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 46
Member
4556 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Under 20 and over 35. Just my opinion, of course. 

Post # 47
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

It depends. Are you emotionally ready? Are you financially ready? Are you with the person you can see yourself having kids with? Are you in the right place in your career? Are you in good health?

I was not ready to have kids until a couple of years ago. I wasn’t set up in my career, wasn’t with the right person and just didn’t feel emotionally capable. Darling Husband and I started TTC when I was 28. It probably wouldn’t be taking us a while if I was younger, but I’m happy with the decisions I’ve made and can’t think of anything worse than having an unwanted pregnancy. 

Post # 48
Member
372 posts
Helper bee

I’m having my first at 36 but I’m not ashamed to say I wish I had become a first time mom sooner, maybe at 31. 35-36 is the perfect age to pop out your second, IMO.

However, this baby comes at a point in my life where I’m pretty established everywhere else so there are some advantages in being an older mom, too.

Post # 49
Member
1762 posts
Buzzing bee

jannigirl :  I’m in a similar boat. Had my at 21 and I’m 33 now, the difference in energy I have now compared to what I had then is huge. We’re also looking forward to our plans after. I couldn’t imagine getting pregnant now. I love my nieces and nephews, I also love giving the little ones back to their parents. I would have nowhere near the energy needed to parent a toddler or infant now. 

Post # 50
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I think under 25 is too young. If you’re pushing 40 you’re getting too old… imo.

But obviously there are exceptions. 

Post # 51
Member
83 posts
Worker bee

eeniebeans :   jannigirl :  I know quite a few women who built their careers, traveled and PARTIED all through their 20s and early 30s and were happy to settle down and have babies in their mid to late 30s.

They were tired from having a huge social life and were ready to stay at home and tend to young children.  They all say that they wouldn’t have had the same patience when they were younger.  I guess they had to sow their wild oats.  Plus, they are all very energetic people.

I think it’s harder to have a kid at say 25 and then again at 40 than it is to be a first time mom at 40.  The ladies who are first time moms at 40 are usually very excited about this new journey in their lives.

Post # 52
Member
942 posts
Busy bee

I always thought I’d want kids before I’m thirty, but now that I’m in my late 20s, I am not sure when my Darling Husband and I will feel ready for kids.  My Darling Husband and I want to be in a career and financial situation where one of us could work part time.  Plus, we want to travel. For the moment, we just really enjoy our freetime and flexibility, so maybe we will have kids in a few years from now!  Then again, we don’t want to wait too long, and then still be raising high schoolers in our late 50s.  I also think a factor into the equation is what your close friends are doing.  At this point, only one of our friends has a child, and only a few of our friends are married.  We love spending time with our friends at this point. If everyone else starts having kids, we might feel more ready to adjust our lifestyle too! There are a lot of things about life that you just can’t fully plan!

Post # 53
Member
9447 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Speaking in a very general sense, I’d say under 25 and over 40.

I think it’s important for most people to get out and experience life as an adult before having the responsibility of children. But obviously there are exceptions in every case. I have 3 friends that had children young (18-20) and they all say they wish they would have waited though.

I personally had my first right when I turned 32 and we’ll be trying for a second when I’m 34-35. My mom had my brother at 39 and personally I’d like to not wait that long.

Post # 54
Member
747 posts
Busy bee

Too young (not a number): not financially, mentally, emotionally or physically able to support a child. 

Too old (not a number): not financially, mentally, emotionally or physically able to support a child. 

Post # 55
Member
2554 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’m answering this only for myself, because everyone is different…For me, under 30 & over 36.  Short window there. lol  I DID NOT want kids (knew I wanted them someday, but was not ready for them) before 30.  Darling Husband and I had been long distance up until right before our 1st anniversary (married at 28) and I wanted some time to just “us.”  We started trying around age 32 and found out at age 35 we couldn’t have kids.  I daydreamed a lot that a miracle would happen, but now that I’ve had some time to process the info (a year later) I feel like that ship has sailed.  I’m more at peace with not having children and I’ve never been keen on having children in my late 30s.

Post # 56
Member
704 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

For me personally, I would never have been ready at 26 or younger. I wouldn’t want any after 40, and really plan to be done before 35. I had my first at 28, and to a lot of my friends it seemed young because they’re not personally in a place to start a family.

Post # 57
Member
2596 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - County courthouse

I had my kids in my early 20s. I’m happy that they will be grown by the time I’m 40. I did not want to be an older mother at all. So many women in their 30s have a hard time getting pregnant.

Post # 58
Member
1387 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Depends – we thought we were CFBC, but had a pregnancy scare and decided we wanted at least one. I was 31 when I had my baby. My mom was 38 when she had me. 

All my friends also just had babies – we’re all career orientated, though. We wanted to work and travel first and none of us had any issues getting pregnant (most of us got pregnant the first 3mo of trying). 

I have so much more patience, tolerance, and energy now – actually I’m the most active and fit I’ve ever been. 

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