(Closed) What age should a child be allowed to have sleepovers

posted 7 years ago in Parenting
Post # 16
6014 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

We started my niece sleeping over at ONE friend’s house at 8ish.(we had custody of her).  Ideally we would have the kids sleep over at our house, and as an enticement we allowed her to have up to 3 other kids.  She was only allowed to sleep over friends houses that we know the parents very well, and have a feel for how they run their house.  

my parents did the same thing.  Plus I wasn’t allowed to sleep over a friends house who’s kids were doing visitation at Dad’s house or Visitation with a mom that had a boyfriend they didn’t know.  My grandmother babysat two girls that were molested by the kids next door’s grandfather, a retired elementary school principal, so they were overly cautious.  

Post # 17
3636 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I went to my first sleepover at 4/5 with a friend from preschool (I think preschool might be at a different age in the US vs Australia). My mother had spent a lot of time with my friends mother which I think it very important. I was schooled well about my manners at dinner, helping with dishes, eating what was given to me etc. 

I think that most important thing about a sleepover is having a firm schedule of when they child will be picked up the next day. I suggest an earlish pickup (just after breakfast) after the first or second sleepover. It’s a lot for kids to spend that much time together and still be polite, so if you can minimise the time the next day that they are together (likely tired from not much sleep the night before and having to sleep in a different place, eat different food, be aware of a different house’s rules etc).

It is all to do with how mature the child is, make the call based on how they go at night in your own home, how they have behaved on play dates etc.

Post # 18
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

View original reply
MissSweetiepie:  This is scary but definitely something to think about.  There was a neighbor girl that I used to have a lot of sleepovers with when I was pretty little – like as young as about 5 or 6?  We grew apart after about the age of 10, but I later found out that she had been getting molested by her step-dad for a lot of years.  It scares the crap out of me that I slept in the same house as a child molester many many times.  Thank god nothing ever happened.

Post # 19
9541 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

I slept over with family from the time I was a toddler. I spent many weekends with my grandparents growing up and had my own room at their house. My mom was a single mom (with dad/grandparents on weekends). When I was little I used to have a sleeping bag that we kept in the car and if we were out at her friend’s house or at the theater (she did community theater) when it was my bedtime, my mom just pulled out the sleeping bag and put me to bed in a quiet room or corner. It was pretty awesome, as a kid. Often my mom or one of her friends would carry me to the car when it was time to go home. I used to fake being asleep so someone would carry me! 

I think my first sleep over with friends was at around age 5, both them coming to my house and me going to theirs. I know that my mom talked to their parents but I don’t remember how in depth that was. I do distinctly remember that my mom hosted a sleep over for 3 of my friends on New Years Eve when I was about 7 and we had sparkling grape juice and thought we were the coolest things ever!

ETA: I also think it’s good to start with on-on-one sleep overs, rather than a big group. It’s less intimidating and easier if the kid gets homesick.

Post # 20
963 posts
Busy bee

I was probably 4-5 when I had my first sleepover, but it was with my cousin who was like a sister to me. With random school friends, I was probably 7. 

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