(Closed) What age would you go to before "giving up" on getting pregnant

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 17
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I see this question a bit differently, I think we would stop being so active in TTC after a year of trying. This takes into account I’ll visit my MD for tests after 6 months of trying with no results. After a year, I think I’ll be done with the charting, OPKs, herbs, lifestyle changes for no reason and we will just have unprotected BD when the mood stricks. At that time we may choose to go the adoption route. We already agreed that we have limits for how invasive we want to go to acheive pregnancy. That has nothing to do with our ages (I’m 31 and DH is 30) and has everything to do with how we want to live our lives.

Post # 18
Member
1198 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d like to have all my children before 35. I think that’s a reasonable goal but it’s just a goal and not a cutoff. I would like to have at least one child biologically and I just don’t see myself not trying for that as long as I possibly can.

Post # 19
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@KH:  I couldn’t have said that better!! That’s exactly how we feel! 

Post # 20
Member
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I think I’m in a special boat but if I didn’t get pregnant in 2-3 years I would seriously look at fostering with intent to adopt. I know it’s really fast but I’d rather have children in my life than go through the hardship & cost of fertility treatments.

Post # 21
Member
3146 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I wanted to have all my kids before 35. I didn’t even meet Fiance until I was almost 36. I’m 38 now and will be taking my last birth control pill in two days.

I agree with PP that as you get older, if you still want kids, your cut off age changes. We’ll try with charting and OPK’s until after the wedding and then see the doctor (he told me to see him after 3 months of actively TTC). Then we’ll do clomid or something and see if it works. After that, if we’ll see what we’re feeling and how far we’re willing to go or if we’ll adopt.

Sometimes you can plan these things and all is well. Sometimes you can’t 🙂

Post # 22
Member
1391 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

No babies for us past 32. That’d make me 50 when he/she is 18. Honestly don’t even want to be that old. Hopefully we can be done by 30. We already have a 4yr old princess. I’m almost 27. Hoping to ttc within a year of our wedding this september. 

Post # 23
Member
1266 posts
Bumble bee

I’m due with my first at 24, and if we have another it will likely be within 4-5 years of this one, I’d like to be done before 30, personally. BUT, if my circumstancces were different and I was over 30 already, my cutoff would probably be 40.

Post # 24
Member
1193 posts
Bumble bee

I hope to be done by 35.. probably 37 max? Who really knows though..

Post # 25
Member
3954 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I would say late 30’s because my Fiance is 10 years older than me. I don’t want him to be over 50 when we have our first kid! I’m really hoping to have 2 before I’m 34ish. My parents had my sister when they were both 43 and it was fine, but I wouldn’t want to push it much older for my Fiance. 

Post # 26
Member
6593 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@Soon2BeeMrsG:  I am 29 as well and I would like to start by the time that I am 35.  I would probably quit by 40 if it wasn’t happening.  My mom had my sister at 40 so I know it’s possible but her doctor was really concerned with birth defects and she had to have extra tests including an amniocentesis.  It really drove home that the older you are, the more problem you and the baby are likely to have.

Post # 27
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@MrsRugbee:  I’m exactly the same way. I have some health problems that will make it difficult for us to conceive. If we’ve spent a few years actively TTC, I’m going to start trying to adopt. I don’t want to wait to try to adopt when I’m in my 40’s, since sometimes the process can take an extremely long time.

Post # 28
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If we weren’t pregnant after a year or two of regular unprotected sex, we’d probably get checked out to see if there were any easily fixable problems. If they weren’t easily fixable or we couldn’t find out what they were, we’d probably skip right to adoption, but continue having unprotected sex until we reached a point where we felt our family was complete the way it was.

Although we’d like the experience of having at least one biological child (b/c I want to experience the newborn days), I’m not willing to put my body through fertility treatments-especially when there’s so many unwanted children in the world. I also don’t have any drive to experience pregnancy and childbirth so my reasoning is not completely selfless!

Post # 29
Member
1693 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

@MrsHoneyC:  i feel the same way. i don’t want to go through years of trying and possibly having to do IVF (we don’t have the money for that anyways). i feel like if we’re meant to have a baby, then we’ll get pregnant. i’m 33 now (34 in august) so my cutoff is 36. DH and i already decided we’ll be ok if it doesn’t happen. we’ll be sad but ok.

Post # 30
Member
1486 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Until I hit menopause.

 

I’ve heard sooo many stories of women getting pregnant in their mid to late 40’s and 50’s…first time, too! I just think when it’s right, it’s right. Nature will let me know when it’s no longer an option.

 

This is not to say I would want children in my 50’s. I’m just saying that should I decide I want children, Nature will decide when it’s too late.

Post # 31
Member
1651 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@calibee79:  us too. I knew at age 12 told by a doctor when i was diagnosed that i might not be able to have children…. So in some ways I’ve already come to terms with that fact. In the back of my head (although I try to ignore it) I just think we won’t be able to get pregnant. I guess only time will tell, if we’re not meant to be parents I want a fulfilling life doing other things instead of sitting around heart broken that we couldn’t have a baby. 

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