(Closed) What age would you go to before "giving up" on getting pregnant

posted 9 years ago in TTC
Post # 62
Member
1974 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

I don’t know how anyone could possibly know. There are so many deciding factors.

I had my kids really young and at the time said over 30 is way too old, but I couldn’t imagine ever giving up if we had problems conceiving I just couldn’t imagine not having children in my life.

Post # 63
Member
5872 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

@greenidlady:  Interesting! Would you mind posting it or sending it as a PM? Perhaps I could help? 

Post # 64
Member
5872 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

@Holly77:  So you think over 30 is too old to try? or what is too old for you to try?

Post # 65
Member
5872 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

@kayrie95:  My husband is the opposite, he said no kids before he was 30. He is now 31 and has no big desire to have kids yet. I think for men there is much larger window age wise to have children than we women do. I think if we could have children with minimum issues until say 50 like in our mid-twenties, I would wait another decade. I am the limiting factor here lol!

Post # 66
Member
1974 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 1998

@candy11:  no I use to think over 30 was too old but not anymore I couldn’t have imagine giving up.  I would have only given up if medically it was bad for me. 

 

Post # 67
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

40?

 

 

My mom had my brother and I at 38 and 41… and that was 30 years ago, when it was less common.  So part of me freaks out about the idea that I may not be able to get pregnant when I want to, I am optimistic that I have my mom’s genes.

 

 

Theoretically I’d like to be done by 35, but… I’m turning 31 in 2 months and we won’t TTC for at least a year.  So by the time I have my first, I will be 32 or 33.  Maybe 35/36 for the second?  We definitely want two, maybe 3.  So I think 40 is more realistic, to build in some “what if” space, and I’m ok with that.

 

 

 

 

Post # 68
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I’m not married, yet, but I am not going to give myself a cut off age. I think we are all thinking “35” because that’s what westernized biology says the risks increase, but it’s not necessarily a magic number. It doesn’t mean you won’t have a healthy baby if you are older than 35. But hopefully I’ll have two kids by then just because I don’t want to be so much older than my kids. 

Post # 69
Member
1113 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I heard a story on the weekend about a couple struggling with infertility, it happened to a friend of DH’s grandparents. They tried for years and did not conceive. They received fertility treatments and it did not seem to help. Finally they started the adoption process, and it took 3 years before they got their first child. When everything went through they decided to start the process again, knowing how long it could take. 

 

The couple received a phone call a few short months later asking for clarification on which races they would be okay with, seeing as they did not mark a preference on their forms. The couple said they were fine with any race at all. There was a set of twins available and they got them right away. The same week they got a positive pregnancy test.

 

The couple ended up having 5 kids in their house at once all under the age of 5 years.

 

The point of this story is, don’t give up. You can have the family you want. It can take time. If it’s something you want and you keep at it, your chances of getting there are higher if you’re still trying than if you’re not.

Post # 70
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

SometimesSmoke times a baby comes into your life at time you might not chose. My in laws are looking at having my niece come love with them and if that happens they will basically be restarting parenthood at 60 and 65. Granted they are not the parents, but I guarantee they will be stuck with a lot of the parenting even though my SIL will be there, she is TBH pretty useless and passes off parenting tasks to anyone who will take them. Are my PIL delighted at the prospect, no. But they will still take joy in caring for that baby!

Post # 71
Member
1298 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I am 26; my husband is 25. We have a 9 year old child. We aren’t interested in having another child that could be mistaken for our daughter’s child, nor do we want to be starting over when one is leaving the house. I probably would not intentionally become pregnant over the age of 32.

I think we are probably going to start trying sometime in the next year, meaning our daughter will be at least 10 or 11 if it happens quickly. We’d be willing to try – without medical intervention – for a couple years and if it doesn’t happen, it doesn’t. I have potential reproductive issues that may or may not prevent us from getting pregnant, and I’m not interested in doing IVF etc. We may end up with just our daughter, or we might adopt.

I desperately want to be pregnant again and to have another baby, but I know I can’t withstand the heartache that often goes along with trying and trying. A close family friend’s marriage fell apart through their attempts to become pregnant and we’ve made a promise that we will give up on our desire to have another biological child before we let it hurt our existing family.

Post # 72
Member
1776 posts
Buzzing bee

We’re planning on TTCing starting next spring, so I will be 28 and DH will be 29. We want two kids and would like to have them both before I turn 35, but I would probably try til 37 or 38 if we aren’t able to get pregnant with at least one child by 35

Post # 73
Member
1224 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

OP, I think that you will change your mind plenty of times about how far you are going to push back you timeline. I say give yourself some wiggle room but maybe wait a little longer to TTC if your having doubts.

 

@brighteyedgirl:  Fyi, I’m 9 years apart from my brother and I love him to pieces. I loved our age differences. I helped pick out his name when he was born and always looked after him when he was growing up. I think he is going to come visit me and my FH this summer and I’m very happy about it! I think your LO may adore a new sibling 🙂 

Post # 75
Member
223 posts
Helper bee

I’d like to be done by 35 ish, but if need be I’d push it to 40. I worry a lot about making things difficult for me and the baby so 40 would be my absolute max. We, however, probably won’t start until around 30 because I’m trying to go back to school and won’t be done until 28ish, but then will have all that debt to pay back. I’d like to put a decent dent in it before trying to have a baby. I’m not going to stress myself out over it either. If it happens, it happens but if it doesn’t I’m not going to put myself through all the fertility treatments just to be heart broken if it doesn’t work. If by 35 we haven’t had any luck, I’d talk to him about adoption and go from there. I’d like to know how it feels to be pregnant though.

Post # 76
Member
1481 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Probably 40…I”m turning 31 in April, so I’d say I have some time. Not TTC yet, but wanting to very soon. 

As a nurse, I should be telling myself 35-36, but you know, if it doesn’t happen by then, I don’t see myself giving up, even knowning risks go up. 

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