(Closed) What am I doing wrong?

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Are you very close to your family?

Maybe they feel like they are losing you  Perhaps they think you are too young, or haven’t been together long enough.

 

If you are very close, I think it may have to do with the idea of losing.

 

As for your sister, well that was a catty remark. Perhaps she’s jealous?

Post # 4
Member
1471 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Sounds like they arent really taking it seriously, maybe you are really young? or maybe you guys havent been together very long? those are usually reasons people would respond that way, and I agree your sister is prob jealous

Post # 6
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

May I ask how old you are?  If you’re still supported by your family in some way, they may not feel it’s appropriate for you to be engaged yet but may be holding back since they know if they say “You’re too young!” it’ll upset you.

Do they generally get on well with your FI?  Did he talk to them beforehand?  Did they WANT him to talk to them beforehand to ask for their blessing?

You’re not doing anything wrong, but clearly they’re upset about something.  I would confront your mom and your sister about it, starting with whichever one you’re closer to.

I’m sorry you have to go through this right now ๐Ÿ™

On another note…CONGRATULATIONS!  This is so exciting ^^  If you’re not getting enough support from your family, get together with your supportive friends in the meantime; go out for drinks to celebrate!

Post # 7
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Kuroneko:  If you’ve lived together for 2 years, are your parents of the opinion that you’re basically married already?  That might be why they’re not getting excited.

Post # 9
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2012

I’d say that considering your relationship with your mum isn’t that good, that’s half the reason she might not care. Also, you are still quite young and you haven’t been with your partner very long. She might not be taking it very seriously and thinks it’s just a ‘phase’ you’re going through.

And your sister sounds like a jealous, nasty cat. Ignore her. She sounds bitter and sad.

So you’re not doing anything wrong, you might just be one of those people who unfortunately doesn’t have a supportive family.

Post # 12
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Kuroneko:  You’d think so.  I don’t know, parents are weird.  My mom is being a lot like this too.  She kept asking me why we’re even bothering with a wedding (granted, this is my second wedding, so I thought I understood why, I just didn’t need to keep hearing “why are you even having a wedding?”).

Post # 14
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Kuroneko:  Thanks!  She’s not really, she’s on her third marriage (it’s with my dad and it’s lasted 26 years almost, but still).  I found out a few nights ago that it’s because she’s afraid that if I get divorced, then it will become an unhappy memory for her instead of a happy memory and it’s pretty inconsiderate of me to put her through that.  Because, you know, it’s about her.

So my mom is just a little bit self-involved right now.

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