(Closed) What am I doing wrong here?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1148 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I’d say just call her and give her an update and then find out if she has any ideas as to what you should work on next. You haven’t done anything wrong, she just probably doesn’t realize what exactly you’ve been working on.

Post # 4
Member
1763 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

 

Oh, don’t feel bad. You haven’t done anything wrong at all. It sounds like you have very much so included her. I really don’t know how much more you could include her to be honest. FI’s mom couldn’t even tell you what month we’re getting married in :(.

By the way it sounds like you have gotten a lot farther then me in planning:)

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I would also call her and/or take her out to lunch to talk to her. Try calling her and/or meeting with her a couple times a month just to update her. Also, when you go to your fitting, you could invite her along. Also, ask her what she would be willing to help with. Have her make a list, so you can refer to it, and then when the time comes, you can ask for her help.

Post # 6
Member
563 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2009

I’d invite her to whichever vendor appointments you have coming up.  I had a close family friend offer to address our invitations.  Since it was a large wedding, I was uncomfortable with having her do so much work.  Instead, I invited her to come to a dress fitting.  She had a great time, and felt included without having to actually do anything too difficult.    

Post # 7
Member
3709 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I am not sure what else you can do. I have noticed a growing trend where Future Mother-In-Law wants to be just as involved as the MOB. If you WANT that level of involvement from Future Mother-In-Law then fine…but you shouldn’t be OBLIGATED to involve her to any extent. There are some things that you are going to want to do with JUST your mom or JUST your friends and you shouldn’t be made to feel bad about that.

It sounds like you have gone above and beyond to make her feel involved but she is not entitled to a blow by blow of your plans. Maybe your Fiance should gently remind her that she is the MOG not MOB and you will reach out to her if there is something else you would like her help with.

Post # 8
Member
1585 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I have 7 more months too… and I feel like there is so much to do but I cant do it yet.  

 

Assure her that once you get closer to the wedding there will be more to get done and as soon as you need help that she is #1 on your list.  This will at least give you some time to make a “project” for her.

Good Luck!!!

Post # 10
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

your not doing anything wrong! keep in mind that this is YOUR day not hers.  you have shared some of the responsibilities with her, which is fair.  sit down and figure out what you want to do with the rest of the planning, if it is something that she can help with ONCE YOUR PLANS ARE FINALIZED, then maybe there is something that she can do.  your wedding day is not about pleasing other people, you can ask for any suggestions from her before you make the decisions but final decisions should be made by you. 

She cares and wants to be invovled i’m sure, but sometimes you can’t please everyone in the end. 

Its a delicate situation good luck!

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