(Closed) what am I getting into………

posted 6 years ago in Family
Post # 3
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Unless your fiancé is siding with his brother, calling you unreasonable and trying to make you out as the bad guy, I don’t think there’s anything to reconsider. completely understand that marrying him means committing to familial issues and the stresses involved, but you’re not actually marrying them. You love this man. From what I can tell in the post, he is on your side in this. I’ve also said before when people have asked if they should uninvite someone / kick someone out of the bridal shower to do just that. Your wedding is no place for people who are going to make you miserable. If it’s something your fiancé is comfortable with, uninvite him. Plenty of people here will rage against this idea, but I am firm in the belief that your wedding is a time to make YOU and YOUR FIANCÉ happy, not everyone else. Everyone else is coming at your request, yes, but not one of them has the right to be there. 

Post # 4
Member
289 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

can someone punch this fool?

Do not invite him, too damn bad for him  your guest list is people who love and support the couple AND THEIR DECISIONS  

You do not have to accomodate his little runts if you do not wish to

Post # 5
Member
8438 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

I don’t know. I agree that you can have the wedding that you want but you shouldn’t be suprised that your decision to have a destination wedding excluding kids might upset people. I mean this is your FI’s brother who isn’t going to be able to come to the wedding because he has kids. Some people do not like to leave their kids with strangers- which is their choice to make. I think you have put the brother in a difficult situation (trapped between attending his brothers wedding and supporting his partner -the GF). Whilst his behaviour is a bit childish I think it is probably coming from anger that you are exclusing his family and possibly forcing him to miss his brothers wedding.

Post # 6
Member
220 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2005

Absolutely stick to your guns.  Sounds like the Brother-In-Law is being very manipulative while you have been been very nice and up front about the whole thing.  Its not like this is a surprise.    Besides, what fun would a 6 and 7 year old have at a wedding full of “old” people.  (No offense, my Darling Husband is 52 and definitely NOT old but definitely frisky LOL.)  I just think the kids would be board out of their minds.  And what does the Brother-In-Law Girlfriend think?  Doesn’t she want an adult night out without the kids? I would absolutely say he cannot come if this is the way he is going to treat you.  I agree that you should not be uncomfortable at your own wedding.  And I don’t think you can expect anything from MIL; sounds like she has been making excuses and coddling him his whole life. 

Good luck and keep us posted!

 

Post # 7
Member
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I think the mistake you might have made was inviting the Girlfriend and kids in the first place.  I take it they are her kids, not your FBIL’s?  So not his flesh and blood.  And if you’ve never met them, you’ve got a reason to not have them there.  I’ve already made it clear that to my Fiance that I’m not having anyone I’ve not personally met at my wedding.  

If your Fiance is in agreement, I’d uninvite the lot of them. 

Post # 8
Member
3303 posts
Sugar bee

Have your fiancé handle it. He shouldn’t be talking to you like that.

Post # 9
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Your Fi needs to uninvite him and thereafter minimal contact at best. You need to make sure your Fi is onboard with this. I would set up expectations re Christmas, holidays etc with your Fi ahead of time. I too would want to be sure that my life would be drama free in the future.

Post # 10
Member
11272 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

i think your fi should handle his brother and that way you can stay out of it.

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