(Closed) What Am I To Do…To Get Married Or To Wait?!?!?

posted 7 years ago in Money
  • poll: Would you go to the courthouse to save money on dental work?
    Yes but don't tell anyone. : (17 votes)
    36 %
    Yes and tell anyone you want--no need for secrets. : (23 votes)
    49 %
    No, absolutely not--shell out the extra $2800. : (7 votes)
    15 %
  • Post # 3
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    We ran into a similar thing in March (wedding in October).  DH needed the work done and it was about the same amount of money (WITH his insurance).  He could have been covered under my insurance, but it didn’t even dawn on me to move up the wedding date.  I guess I’m in the camp of why have a wedding if you are already married – but – to each is own. 

    ETA:  to make matters work – he had to get a tooth pulled before we got married and another tooth shattered.  Now, he needs a bridge – and it WOULD have been all covered under my insurance – but, because it was pre-existing when he joined, we have to shell out more money for it!   Had we done what you are thinking (Got married to get the ins benefit it would have saved us around 5-6K in dental bills.) 

    Post # 4
    1370 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2012


    Well…is getting on his medical the ONLY way you can afford the dental work?  And if you spent the $2800 on the dental work, how would it impact your actual wedding in November?

    IF you absolutely can’t afford the dental work, no way no how, then yes, I would consider marrying early because if you are already at the point of needing a root canal, if you wait too long, you can end up with a massive infection, into the bone of the jaw.  BUT if you do go the courthouse route, please don’t keep it a secret from your family.  Maybe invite them to a nice dinner to celebrate after or something, but I think they’d be really hurt to not be involved in any way.

     ETA: I didn’t vote becasue I think it depends on your reasons why you would want to marry early, IE the money not being available to get it done right away.

    Post # 5
    244 posts
    Helper bee

    Do you not have the money?  Personally, I would just pay instead of getting married sooner.

    Post # 6
    4887 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    Just FYI I’ve heard that if you’re dealing with priests/pastors, they won’t use the same wording if you’re previously married at the courthhouse.  Something about just announcing you were already married instead of pronouncing you married.  I’m going to google, but if someone can help me out I’d appreciate it.

    Post # 9
    7173 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    @future_mrs_sommer:  if it’s not a big deal to either of you and you two can both keep the secret forever – I don’t see a reason why NOT to go the courthouse route! 🙂

    Post # 10
    358 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    We were in the same situation. We ended up waiting because of the grants I get for school. Once I’m married I won’t get huge grants so it was cheaper to pay for the work out of pocket than to sacrifice the loans. I guess my only advice would to be to check and be sure that you actually will be saving money in all aspects.

    As for telling or not telling people..It’s a really hard decision. I got to stop thinking about that choice when we decided it was better to wait:) I think if we would have gone through with it we would have only told our parents. Anyone really close to you that will understand. I thought of it as…who would be really hurt to find out that we didn’t tell them…KWIM?


    Post # 12
    190 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    As long as you’re honest with your guests that you’re already married, then it shouldn’t be a problem. 

    If you want to do the court house route, that’s great! Court house marriages are wonderful but I wouldn’t have a big wedding afterward either. It just wouldn’t feel right. Like another post said, maybe a nice dinner to celebrate, but I would definitely nix the big dress and other wedding-like pointers. The courthouse will be your wedding and recreating it later in another light (at least in my humble opinion) would just cheapen your original day; almost like saying it wasn’t good enough and a party is necessary to make your marriage real.

    Good luck with your choice – whichever it may be!


    Post # 13
    441 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    My husband and I went to the courthouse a year before our wedding. I waited until after the wedding last year to change my name though, so it was something else to look forward to. We didn’t see it as a big deal, and neither did our friends or family. It is a very personal choice though, so what was right for us may not be right for others. Best of luck! 

    Post # 14
    913 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    @future_mrs_sommer:  Have you double-checked to see if you can be covered on his insurance as a domestic partner?

    Post # 16
    138 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    That’s actually pretty expensive. Does it have to be done by a specialist? Maybe you can shop around. Fees do differ practice to practice. Another thought…Do you happen to have any dental schools relatively close to you? The fees there are drastically reduced. At my dental school the most expensive root canal (a molar tooth) is 300 dollars, a filling after is 80, then a crown later down the road is about 475. We offer payment plans too!

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