Post # 1
Myself and another bridesmaid got fired today. We are both best friends with the bride…or thought we were 😳
Basically the bride wants a champagne wedding on a beer budget! She has been quite overwhelming with what she wants and we’ve tried to do what we can to help or nicely suggest other ideas that will look like she wants.
But her expectations of us as bridesmaids has blown me away. I didn’t realize there was a list of things we HAD to do for her as bridesmaids and because we haven’t done what she expects us to do we are no longer in the wedding. She even deleted us from Facebook.
She kept saying “you’re not doing what you’re supposed to” or “you haven’t done this or that” and we’ve asked what does she expect us or do or let us know what you want. We both have full time jobs, the other lives a long way away and we’re all engaged but she even said I should put my wedding planning on hold to do hers first. I went so far as even offering to pay for her cake. Drove an hour to her house every weekend on my only day off and even took time off work.
After today, I hate to say it, but I’m releaved I’m out. But it does hurt me that a friendship is lost over this, she was one of my bridesmaids too.
Post # 2
From the sounds of it, she is way out of line. Bridesmaids are there to support you and share your special day. Not be at your beck and call to do a long list of jobs.
It sucks that this has become the end of a friendship, but be glad that you are done with her! You deserve a much better friend.
Post # 3
I personally don’t think bridesmaids are obligated to anything. Yes it’s nice for them to help with certain things, but their main task is just to be there standing at the alter with you. Some brides tend to go overboard with thinking their bridesmaids owe them certain things or that they own them up until their wedding day and are supposed to Be at their call whenever they want. You can honestly only do so much to help her when you yourselves have jobs, school, kids, whatever it may be. You have lives too and shouldn’t have to put it on hold for her. That’s absolutely absurd and selfish of her!
Post # 4
What was her response when you asked her what she expected of you? It sounds like she did you a favor by booting you. She seems way too demanding.
Post # 5
As unfortunate as it is, given that a friendship has been lost, you likely dodged a bullet. Her expectations sound totally unrealistic.
I think most BM’s are happy to help the bride with whatever needs doing, or given an opinion and support where the bride needs it. Beyond showing up in the dress, there really is no “must do” list of tasks for the BM’s. Some host a shower, some plan a bachelorette, but neither are necessary.
You really need to try to attend the rehearsal and the rehearsal dinner, but even those can be skipped by BM’s who need to travel and/or can’t get time off work.
Post # 6
Wow.. I was a bridesmaid to my sister in law and all she expected of me was to buy a dress that I picked out in a certain color, go to her bachelorette party, and show up for the wedding.
This chick sounds like the epitome of bridezilla.
Post # 7
Her reply was “you’re kidding right”.
She brought up that we haven’t organized her bridal shower….I had NO idea we were supposed to. I always thought it was the mother or future mother in law. Even so just tell us. She even googled ‘who throws a bridal shower’ and it said maid of honor. She screenshot it and sent it to us. Well we don’t know who the maid of honor is for a start. Haha.
The other bridesmaid was friends with her Fiance first…he would be upset if he knew what’s happened.
i don’t expect my bridesmaid to do anything but they have already started planning things. And while I’m so grateful they are I’ve done more than my fair share to help her. She even bombarded my fiancé’s facebook page when his friends posted about his bachelor party saying “my wedding is first we need to focus on that” …. She doesn’t even know his friends.
Post # 8
She’s going to be a lonely bride, having fired two good friends. Bullet dodged.
Post # 9
She sounds like a brat.
It’s too bad to say, but you’re better off I think.
I expect my bridesmaids to show up on the day of my wedding on time, wear the bridesmaid dress that they purchased, the shoe style I requested (black, closed toe, any heel height, style etc) and stand next to me as I marry my Fiance.
I hope that they will throw me a bachelorette, offer to help with last minute DIYs, hold my train when I have to pee, and do their best to keep me sane when I get frazzled.
Post # 10
- Wedding: April 2017 - City, State
Wow. It always sucks when a friendship ends, especially under these circumstances, but it sounds like you got out just in time. She was only going to get worse as her wedding day got closer.
Post # 11
Why do some brides go psycho? This is crazy. You are not obligated to do anything but show up for the wedding. Sorry this happened. Doesn’t sound like a friend worth having
Post # 12
Around where I live, bridesmaids are ‘expected’ to plan the bachelorette, and wedding shower. Also (mostly) pay for their dress, hair and makeup (optional). Support the bride… but not necessarily do anything. Show up to the rehearsal, and of course wedding. Also, bridal party plans jack and jill if couple are having one.
My bridal party helped me set up and tear down, and some of my maids came over one night for a craft night, that was all the planning help I had.
Your situation sounds really shitty, I would be relieved to be ‘let go’ from your position as well. Pay for her cake?!?!? That’s nuts.
Post # 13
My bridesmaids kept asking me if there was anything I needed them to do. I feel like they expected me to ask for more. My mom threw me a surprise shower with family and friends at my 94 yo grandmother’s. A work friend threw me a shower locally with thr women and wives from work. My bridesmaids and couple friends threw me an awesome bachelorette party, but I did not tell them they had to. My Maid/Matron of Honor was from far away and pregnant so I did not expect her to attend or plan anything, I just wanted her by my side on the day and she was wonderful there. My girls bought there dresses and I paid for their hair. I did not need help with favors, centerpieces or anything like that as my husband is awesome and we did them together. To me, bridesmaids were there to support me on my wedding day and prevent outside forces from affecting my happiness. My girls were amazing!
Post # 14
Sounds as if she saved you some grief.
Bridesmaids have to stand up for the bride and groom in attire generally selected by the bride. That’s what they HAVE to do. They should also plan to attend a rehearsal the day before the wedding. I read a post recently where a bride was angry a Bridesmaid or Best Man was going to be on vacation and miss a rehearsal planned several days before the wedding. Brides–you don’t get a week…
Bridesmaids often accompany the bride to select the bridal gown and bridesmaids’ dresses, and often host showers and bachelorette parties.
Today it seems some brides also expect BMs to tour venues, tastings, participate in numerous DIY projects, wear specific nail polish colors, hair styles, even hair colors. It’s fine if the BMs offer to participate in some of these things but it often seems to get out of hand and bridesmaids become brides’ servants.
Post # 15
That sucks, her behaviour was totally out of line. Maybe she’ll come to her senses and apologize? I agree though, sounds like she did you a favour.