- 5 years ago
Sorta a newish bee here, posted a noncoherent rant earlier on my frustration waiting for a beau who told me to start looking for rings, and then promptly told me he was overwhelmed and that i was being a bridezilla in some ways. Since then I’ve been forced to cope with an emotional roller coaster, and today was a bad dip amongst my waiting days.
My SO told me that the reason he’s been hesitating is because he’s afraid of the changes he’d have to face once we get engaged. He’s insistent it’s not on the change in being married, but the changes that he’d spend “less time with my family.”
I was flabbergasted by this… I had always been ecnouraging of him to spend as much time as he could with his family (who live in the suburbs), and although he tells everyone we live together, it’s far from the truth as he sleeps at my place 3 nights a week and spends the rest at his parents’ place. He’s 31, has a good paying job and is financially secure, so are his parents (in case those are wiondering whether he’s worried about htem financially). They’re very close, and we get along great, and I’m the type who’s very close to my family as well and understand that family is of the utmost importance. But now i’m at that point in our relationship where I feel ready to take it to the next level, only to have to face a situation where my man has told he was ready, only to rescind that opinion and back off. I feel like a colossal idiot, and I’m hurt. In some ways, I don’t buy his reason and I suspect that we’re not on that same emotional wavelength of preparedness.
Was wondering if any other bees faced this, or if their SO’s gave concrete reasons for not wanting to get engaged now…
Thanks for reading this xxooo