(Closed) What are the Gender roles in your family/home?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Gender role at your home?

    I'm a stay at home wife.

    Me and SO both work.

    My SO stays home and I work.

  • Post # 17
    Member
    10283 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    You really could have used more poll options since those don’t come close to covering all of the different roles.

    In our house, we both work and I will continue to do so until we have a kid. At that point, I’ll be a Stay-At-Home Mom. I won’t be staying home because DH or I feel that it’s what I HAVE to do, it’s more a logistical decision. Daycare is expensive and I really have no desire to send my kid there. If we can afford for me to stay home (which we currently can and should be able to when the time comes), then that’s the best decision for our family. As for chores and what not, that’s pretty much all on me but only because DH sucks at it (I’m pretty sure that’s on purpose) and he also works a LOT more than I do. 

    Post # 18
    Member
    807 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    I would love to be able to stay home but it’s not because I think the woman shouldn’t work, so I don’t necessarily think those two are related. We both work currently but if we can afford it, one of us will absolutely be staying home once we have kids. It will probably depend on where we are at in our careers and what makes the most sense.

     

    Post # 19
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I didn’t vote. I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom, because that makes the most sense for us financially right now, but I don’t necessarily think that women shouldn’t work. I also would’ve been bored out of my mind being a Stay-At-Home Wife, and I think that’s entirely different than being a Stay-At-Home Mom (don’t have any problem with SAHWs, I just think it’s different than being a SAHM). 

    Post # 21
    Member
    3569 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    didn’t vote on the poll.

    We both work, and I honestly couldn’t imagine anything I want to do less then staying at home. My career is too important and fulfilling. My mom worked growing up even though my parents could have afforded for her not to. I think it was good to see her invested in things that were important to her. I think it depends on the person. Just because people agree that one parent should stay home doesn’t mean it’s the mother. I also have friends who after she had three kids it was more expensive for her to work because of the cost of childcare and so that what made sense for her family.

    I have a friend who got out of the milatary, and he became a stay at home Dad when his wife got a nice job with awesome benefits. He was able to raise/spend time with his daugther and figure out his next steps.

    Post # 22
    Member
    2810 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I am on a year of Mat-leave right now, but normally both DH and I work.

    Honestly, I would give almost anything to be a Stay-At-Home Mom to my daughter and future children. While I like working and earning money, I feel much more “valuable” raising my daughter, keeping up our home, cooking, nurturing, etc.

    I’m really scared about going back to work this fall and sending my daughter to daycare…I feel like I’m not going to be able to do a good job at both my employed job and being a mom 🙁 boo…

    Post # 23
    Member
    4272 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2012

    Currently, we both work.

    I might stay at home for awhile when the baby comes though.

    Post # 24
    Member
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    We both work.. I am off the summer tho and my so works all year round.

    Post # 25
    Member
    1281 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We both work.  Since I work overnight and dont get home until after Fiance leaves @ 5am each morning, I drop my DD off at her nanny’s at bed time each night and then pick her up around 3pm (or at school starting september) each day. 

    Her child care is EXPENSIVE, but her nanny is awesome and I am the bread winner so if I stopped working, we would be screwed.  Plus I’m at a stepping stone position at my job so in about 9 months or so I won’t be working overnights anymore and won’t have to pay as much for after school care as I do overnight care. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    432 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We both work, but I work from home and have flexible hours, so it allows me to get a lot of errands, cleaning, cooking, and housework done. Fiance works 80-90 hours a week and so I end up managing the household for the most part. It’s more the nature of each of our careers and our work hours that has made it end up this way, not any belief that the woman “should” be the one doing these things.

    Post # 27
    Member
    1765 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m going to be a stay at home wife. But that’s what works best for our lifestyle. We have a farm.. so someone’s gotta do that work 🙂 I think everyone needs to realize that every family is different, and make choices based off their lifestyle. I definitely don’t think that women shouldn’t work! Look at all the amazing things women do everyday! 

    Post # 28
    Member
    1713 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    View original reply
    @AutumnElegance:  Nice to see someone elses Fiance works over 80 hours a week (thankfully mine is seasonal, all winter and then all summer).

     

    We are debating what will happen but it all depends on where our life is at that point. We own our own company and currently both work close to 80 hours a week. In the futur Fiance and I will have to look at who wants to stay at home. I am looking at going back to school and having a solid career and Fiance can run the company and arms reach or work part time seasonally on some bigger expeditions (gone here and there).

    Fiance does almost all the housework and cleaning since I really suck at it and hes much better than me. Its going to take me some time to get good but I currently care for the dog in everyway (daily brushings and picking up after her). 

    Post # 29
    Member
    3175 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    View original reply
    @buggaboo6:  Still can’t vote. I’m a Stay-At-Home Mom, which is not the same thing as a Stay-At-Home Wife.

    Post # 30
    Member
    1068 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I would love to work part time. I hate that our standard of living rate is now based on a two income house hold.

    Post # 31
    Member
    3696 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    We both work currently.  I’d like to stay home with any future children.  I’m just wired that way.  I have a good education and well-paying job but I’d much rather be home cooking and cleaning and chasing kids aorund.  My husband would do whatever makes the most sense – e.g. he’d stay home if I made more money.  However, even though my career is more upwardly mobile (I work in a smaller office and have more opportunity) he has more drive and gets more out of his work. 

    I think I would want to go back to work at least part-time once kids were in school.  We’ve been sort-of seriously talking about what sort of investment or business we could get into that I could run or look after from home/with kids.

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