(Closed) What are the Gender roles in your family/home?

posted 8 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Gender role at your home?

    I'm a stay at home wife.

    Me and SO both work.

    My SO stays home and I work.

  • Post # 32
    Member
    1281 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @Tangled:  That’s exactly how I feel.  In a perfect world, I’d work 830-2:30 5 days a week so I could still be productive and have a work-life, but also be able to put DD on and take her off the bus each day and not need child care.  Ugh.

    Post # 33
    Member
    3470 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - The Gables Inn, Santa Rosa, CA

    Currently we both work, but when we are ready for kids I will likely quit my current job, and look for something I can do from home for the first few years– once our kids start school though (we are hoping for 2 close in age) then I’d like to go back to work in the mornings, and still be home for my kids in the afternoons, especailly since FI’s line of work will often require late nights, so I’ll be the primary caregiver for sure. 

    Post # 34
    Member
    7769 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Right now DH works at a design firm and I work for myself from home.  We are both artists, so we had to figure out how to make a go of it.  We are both extremely motivated.  We decided to send him back to school so that he could get a design job to support us, even though I do sell work.

    I hate housework.  I am an extreme perfectionist because my mother used to stand over me and berate me as I polished the floors on my knees, or the sink until they “shined.”  Now I redirect my perfection into my work and let my house get by with the bare minimum.  🙂

    Post # 35
    Member
    286 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    We both work because we both have to, I think down the road I would enjoy staying home with kids and SO would enjoy working to support us – but that has a lot more to do with our respective personalities and drives than our genders. I just don’t like working very much 🙂 however, I think it is likely that I will always work, but I am starting my graduate degree to become a therapist so it is quite likely that in the future I will work a more flexible, part time schedule.

    Post # 36
    Member
    6244 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 1900

    We both work.

    We both wanted specific careers so we both have advanced degrees in our fields.  We both plan on working for a very long time.

    Post # 37
    Member
    1004 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    We will probably both be working until retirement, unless Fiance gets an amazing job and I decide to be a stay at home mom for a couple years. I’m going to be a teacher, and if it paid more I would happily let Fiance be the stay at home parent BUT I have loans to pay off.

    Post # 38
    Member
    364 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2013

    We are very much in the minority, I work and Fiance stays at home. He is working on building a personal training business but doesnt make enough money to really contribute at this point. I work out of town most of the time so it is his responsibility to take care of the house dogs everything while I am gone and I am so happy with this division of labor. I hate most domestic tasks while he likes them. It works for us, and luckily I make enough that he doesnt feel the pressure to take a job just to pay the bills instead of having his time to dedicate to his dream of owning his own business.

    Post # 39
    Member
    2819 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    If we decide to have a child, the plan is that I will take my mat leave (1 year in Canada) & FH will take whatever parental leave he gets (or we can give him some of my mat leave), and then when I go back to work FH will be a work-from-home dad until DS/D is old enough to go to school.

    Post # 40
    Member
    5089 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    We both work, and we share the household chores. Sometimes I do more; sometimes he does more.  Although I can’t predict it with perfect certainty, given the vaguaries of the job market, I am fairly certain we will both continue to work if/when we have kids, both for financial and for personal reasons.

    In my dream world, I would love to be able to take six months or so off for the birth of a child, but I don’t think I could be a Stay-At-Home Mom any longer than that.

    Post # 41
    Member
    5089 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    View original reply
    @Jenniphyr:  SO JEALOUS of every other developed nation in the damn world’s maternity leave policies. Yell

    Post # 42
    Member
    232 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I didnt vote but i am a Stay-At-Home Mom and its the best option for us. The MAT LEave is only 3 months and Fi and I couldnt see us sending a 3 month old to daycare it really scared me because that just felt so soon for someone else to care for someone so delicate.

    Before we TTC we had already planned to have me SAH and i love it. A lot of women think that they will lose their identity if they SAH but i personally feel this isnt true if you are able to still have time to yourself and have your “ME” It can be stressful sometimes but working can also.. My Fiance has already graduated so while im home i still go to school at night for my RN degree and it just works for us.

    To be honest i love not having to clock in and out and worry about a boss on my back for now lol

    Post # 43
    Member
    5982 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    DH works full time. I also work full time and run the household 

    Post # 44
    Member
    1004 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    View original reply
    @mightywombat:  me too. I worked in day care for a while, and I can tell you that our kids would (for the most part) be better off if they could spend the 1st year of life at home. Sad, America, very sad and backward for a “developed” nation.

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