(Closed) What are the least tactful things your friends have said about the wedding?

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 47
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

Some of yours are just AWFUL!!!!!! 🙁

I don’t know how many of you have gotten this, but as soon as we got engaged, FH’s father said “I can’t wait for the bachelor party”… no “congrats”… nothing. FH has also gotten that from a number of his old friends… To me it seems disrespectful.

Post # 48
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m not sure if this counts but it drove me nuts. Last night, I was talking to Future Mother-In-Law (who is really sweet) about what’s left on my list and she was talking about whether or not the groom’s parent’s are “supposed” to pay for flowers. I just told her we budgeted for them already. We budgeted for the whole wedding and Dear Fiance initially said that he didn’t want to ask them for money and if they wanted to offer we’d be fine with that. My parent’s have no money and we knew that going in. FYI most of the wedding is from my savings.

Anyway short story long, Future Mother-In-Law goes, “So your mom’s not paying for your dress?” It was in a tone that she felt sorry for me. I’m going to be almost 30 when we get married. I can handle a dress. 

I HATE when people judge my mother. My sister’s been dealing with this for awhile so I’m super sensitive to it. 

Post # 49
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

Ugh, this thread is just awful. I have my share too … Almost too many to remember!

 

The worst isn’t just wedding specific, it’s been going on our whole relationship … I’m marrying the youngest of three sons, and our relationship has never seemed as important as the other brothers’ relationships because we’re not married nor do we have children (we’ve been together for longer than one of his brothers with his wife). When we moved in together (made financial sense), we were literally, actually called the “black sheep” of the family. WHAT THE EFF!?

 

I have a few less than tactful friends who are pissed about not being asked to be in the wedding party. One of them (who is getting married six months before I am) is planning an “open invitation” honeymoon (don’t ask, because I don’t know) at the same time as I’m planning to have my stagette (and birthday) … Five months after her wedding. And she knows because she asked me when I was having it, so she could “plan accordingly.” Right.

 

Post # 50
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

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@BooRadley:  oh HELL no, what is WRONG with her!? Is she 12 or something?

(ps- I’ve been following some of your posts, have you done any recap posts? I’m dying to see your dress!!)

Post # 51
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’ve been really lucky and we’ve had so much support from everyone. Literally every single person – except one. His response to our engagement was “is she pregnant?” Gee, thanks 🙂

Post # 52
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee

I got married last summer in between two close friends, one who got married in April and one who got married in September.  At the April wedding, I was chatting with the September bride to be about how beautiful the April wedding was and she told me that the April wedding was “up here” holding one hand out and that my wedding was going to be “down here” holding her other hand out as far as she could in the opposite direction.  She felt her own wedding would be somewhere in the middle of mine and the April wedding.  Sorry, this story is a little bit better if you can have the actual visual of her words and actions.

Post # 53
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

People can be so rude.

One of the comments that bothered me the most was: right at the beginning of my engagement/wedding planning, I had a so-called close friend say to me “yeah, but your wedding is basically a student wedding”…

when 1) my fiance and I had both graduated with our masters degrees before we got engaged, 2) we had both accepted full-time, permanent, professional jobs, 3) we had a year to make money and save for the wedding, without going into any debt whatsoever!

I brushed it off but the comment really stuck with me. Ok, so we were recently students – so what? We are paying for the entire wedding ourselves, and doing exactly what we want (an intimate wedding in a beautiful location with our closest family members and friends). My “friend” is super spoiled and her parents essentially pay for everything for her. She also has completely different priorities than my fiance and I, telling me that “if I were you, I would throw the biggest party ever and invite every single person I’d ever met”. She basically thinks that the reason we’re not having a huge over-the-top wedding is that we can’t afford it (hence the “student wedding” comment), when in actual fact, it’s just not what my fiance and I want AT ALL. Even if we were filthy rich, we wouldn’t want to do things differently. Some people just don’t get it.

It sucks to get so much judgement from your supposed friends, especially when it comes to your special day.

Post # 54
Member
8482 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

Me and one of my friends were talking about rings (before I picked mine out) and I mentioned that I had found one that I loved online for about $300 but I wasnt sure I loved it. Her reply was “yeah, for $300 it better not be the one. You cant have a $300 engagement ring, they cost over $1000.” I didnt even know how to respond to that.

 

My brother has told me that if we dont have an open bar then he wont be attending.

Post # 55
Member
629 posts
Busy bee

Not engaged yet, but talking to friends about it, one friend said “You can’t have a Sunday wedding! No one has Sunday weddings unless they’re cheap! It looks bad, everyone has their wedding on Saturdays.” My SO and I are Jewish, and want our wedding in the summertime, so yeah it’s a Sunday.

Post # 56
Member
629 posts
Busy bee

Oh, and SO’s best friend on finding out the majority of my bridal party would be married or engaged – “So, there’s no bridesmaids to bang?”

Post # 57
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

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@amyinbrisbane:  Semi-common, but still looked down upon in Australia.

Post # 58
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2013

View original reply
@photogestelle: Another discussion for another thread I think but I’m not sure I go as far as to say they’re ‘looked down upon’ No-one I’ve spoken to here (across varying generations, upbringings etc) has a problem with them that’s all. 

 

I had one of my BMs tell me “I only go to weddings for the free food and alcohol” Oh ok, so not to support one of your best friends/because you know it’s important to me? haha I know she didn’t mean anything by it and it ws just said in passing but I still raised my eyebrows a little! 

Post # 59
Member
1975 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

Work ‘friend’ (i over heard her saying to another workmate) – I cant wait to go to Pokemons wedding so I can judge it

Post # 60
Member
1900 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Upon hearing that we were aiming for a relaxed, casual wedding: “Oh, you mean cheap?”

Post # 61
Member
119 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My bridesmaid upon showing me her dress that was recently picked up from the bridal store: “Yeah, it looks a lot better than I thought it would.” She was referring to the color, not how it looks on her. Um, thanks?

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