Post # 1
The whole process of planning a wedding while having a regular job, life, etc. can take a toll on the relationship– which is the whole reason we do all of this.
Not to mention, once you get married you start settling into a routine that leads us (and it’s just human nature) to take each other for granted.
What are the little things that you do to stay connected with your fiance/husband?
For Mr. Doctor and I, we have a silly habit of telling each other what our favorite thing about the other person was that day. Not only is it great feedback, but you can tell when you are starting to slip when they have to pause to think of something. I haven’t told him, but I’m writing down the answers to each one of our responses to present to him at some point.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2009 - Rancho Bernardo Inn
Such a good question!
We always try to make sure we get not just time together, but "quality time." I think there is such a big difference. Lately, at the end of a long week we will make dinner together and then just enjoy relaxing and being able to talk. I also love to tuck little post-its in random places with love notes and what I appreciate about him.
Post # 4
We always talk about the other’s day and eat supper together most nights. We also talk about plans for after the wedding; I think that helps especially in those times when I get really stressed because it reminds me that the wedding is just one day, but we will be together for many years to come!
Post # 5
We work for the same company in the same building- we’re both IT project managers for a financial institution. While our jobs never come into contact (it’s a 40,000+ employee company), we have the luxury of being able to have lunch together or duck out for a coffee when we’re having a stressful day.
I know that eventually our career paths will lead us to different companies, but right now I just enjoy that extra bit of quality time we have together. It’s a godsend during such busy times!
Post # 6
Since we’re apart right now this is super important for us. What we’ve been doing is emailing each other a song every day (well every other day, switching off) …. We send the Title, Artist, and then our favorite lyric. Usually they are cheesey love songs but sometimes they are just funny random songs that remind us of each other. It’s been so fun so far and it’s doing double duty — we’re currently building our wedding reception playlist!!!! 🙂
When we’re home and getting ready in the morning together we ask each other "what are you looking forward to today?" On work days, 99% of the time it’s "coming home!" 🙂 but we’ll discuss big meetings we have that day, or plans to go to the gym, or what we’re having for lunch that day. Just little things to make sure we stay connected! 🙂
Post # 7
I agree with duckling about quality time. We live together and see each other every day, but we work different schedules and our days are pretty hectic, which leads to not the best of quality time.
We make sure to plan regular date nights. We make it a night about the two of us and spend the night talking and enjoying each others company. We make sure to do at least two a month, but most likely 4. We also never go to sleep with out saying I love you and talking about each others days.
Post # 8
We’ve been reading a book called "The Love Dare" together every night. It’s just a few pages about love for each day, and then there is a task it assigns you for the following day. It keeps us connected and focusing on the truly important things, and it has really helped to strenghten our relationship. I haven’t seen it, but the movie "Fireproof" is based on the book. I would recommend the book to anyone wanting to improve on the level of kindness and patience in your relationship.
Post # 9
@ karilynn – I’ve been wanting to read The Love Dare! You should definitely watch the movie. Fireproof is a great movie!! The acting isn’t great, but you get past that after the first 20 minutes or so. It has such a great message. And the cutest part is Kirk Cameron wouldn’t kiss anyone except for his wife – You can see the video of him talking about it on The Today Show here: http://video.msn.com/video.aspx?mkt=en-US&vid=116b2b33-014c-4114-9ecd-4e76ff0d5ab6
Post # 10
We have "date night" every Friday. We’ve been together for 8 years and love to have that one night every week for ourselves, no hanging out with the friends or working or anything else we do remaining 6 nights of the week.
Also, we surprise each other with little things: Mr. Petunka likes to pick up heart shaped Linzer cookie for me from our neighbourhood bakery on the way home, or he makes me tea when we chill on the couch and watch TV and he does our Saturday morning run for coffee and newspaper ( even when it’s cold and miserable outside). I like to cook dinners for him and pack him lunch or clean grapefruit for him ( yes, taking off all those white skins on individual segments).
Those are little things, but they remind us that we care for one another and make everyday life just a little bit more romantic 🙂
Post # 11
These are all really great ways to stay connected! I’m sorry about your long distance Humarock. We did long distance for 2 years, so I know the pain all too well… (and he’s not a phone talker) It was a source of difficulty for me, but we did lots of work around it and it ultimately made us a much stronger couple… The strength we gained was definitely my silver lining.
Post # 12
PJ runs. It’s a weekend, it’s late, and we’re planning on staying up to watch a movie or something. So, we go for a PJ run! This usually involves wearing slippers and whatever you have on (sweatpants, old t-shirts…), getting in the car and going for some late night, really bad for you but oh so good food!! We spend the driving time talking, holding hands, and enjoying each other’s company!
Post # 13
Even though it doesn’t rain much in LA, we make "rainy days": we shut off the cell phones, disconnect, don’t make plans, keep our pjs on and watch movies in bed. I usually make breakfast, he makes dinner. In the wedding world sometimes the real world passes us by so we’ll talk about current events and creative projects we want to do.
My Fiance actually enjoys a lot of the planning so we have fun making up silly ideas for our tables, who will sit next to whom (we’re mixing everyone up), wiil any romances spark, who will cut a rug, who will get lost in the woods with a glass of wine. He LOVES to talk about this – it’s so much fun to play along!
MightySapphire: I heart the PJ run!
Post # 14
We’ve been cooking dinner together almost every night. It’s our time to talk about our day, the good and the bad, without the distraction of the tv, phone, or internet. Now that it stays lighter later, we’ve also been going for a walk in the evening. Just small things, but they mean a lot.
Post # 15
We have dinner together almost everynight- at the table, no TV, no interruptions.
We also go to bed early enough that we have time to snuggle and talk just about everynight. Sometimes this can backfire if we talk about stressful stuff (ie work) right before trying to fall asleep!
Post # 16
I just thought of another thing that we do .. and I can’t wait to do it again soon … No TV Tuesday! We’re pretty big TV watchers but tuesdays we do no TV … we listen to music, cook a nice dinner, read on the couches, talk about things … it’s nice to just stop, disconnect, and look each other in the eye!