(Closed) What are the your expectations of your maid of honor and bridesmaids?

posted 4 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
846 posts
Busy bee

Maid of Honor: 

  • Be there on the day of.
  • Sign the marriage certificate.
  • Hold my bouquet during the ceremony.


  • Be there on the day of. 
  • Pay for their (reasonably priced) dresses. 

That’s about it. I don’t need their help with stuff, that’s for me to do. If they volunteer, that’s great — but I don’t think any more of those who help out or less of those who don’t. 

Post # 3
1181 posts
Bumble bee

Honestly? I expect my bridesmaids to show up in the dress I picked out, walk down the aisle, and smile for the pictures. That’s it.

I don’t even have a maid of honor, mostly because I wouldn’t be able to pick anyone without someone’s feelings getting hurt, not to mention that I would really prefer to do and plan everything myself besides the points where my mom chips in.

I won’t complain if someone really wants to throw me a bridal shower or a bachelorette party, but I certainly don’t expect anyone to. 

Post # 4
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Hmm, where I live the BM’s and MOH are also suppose to throw a shower and bachelorette for you. It’s pretty much an unwritten rule.  I agree with beeintraining with everything else she said as well.

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 7 months ago by  .
Post # 5
990 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I have no expectations at all! My bridesmaids (I’m not having a MOH) are my closest friends and family…I just want them all beside me on my wedding day 🙂

I’m having mismatched bridesmaids so they can pick a dress they feel happy with and accessorize it however they wish! The only thing they need to do is pose for a few pics and enjoy the day…

Post # 6
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

Buy the dress in a timely manner and get it altered. Wear appropriate undergarments and shoes. Look presentable in regards to hair and makeup. Show up to the rehearsal and wedding and do their jobs at those events (pay attention, hold the flowers, walk, etc.). Smile and be in pictures.

Other than that, I think it’s lovely, though not required, when the MoH organizes a shower and/or bachelorette activities. I think it’s lovely when they get ready with the bride. Again, not required.

Post # 7
1869 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I had two. Buy this specific dress. Show up at X time on the day of the wedding. 

That’s it. 

Post # 8
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I only have one girl standing with me, my sister-in-law. She lives in another city and is about to give birth to my nephew. So she has NO responsiblities! Lol. We planned the wedding around the birth. (Difficult pregnancy) We want the family to be there happy and healthy. I’m not having a shower or bachelorette party. She has to buy her dress (A simple/casual black dress) and be there that day.

Post # 9
4783 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

tanya4285:   I have a Best Woman, no bridesmaids.  My expectations of her are:  Show up, hold bouquet, sign certificate.  Bonus points for attending the rehearsal, wearing agreed upon dress.  Gold Star for smiling for the photographs.  Eternal gratitude for moral support during the planning process and on the big day.  

Post # 10
3916 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I agree with a PP, where I’m from, it’s pretty standard that the bridesmaids throw you a bridal shower and a bachelorette party. I’ve done it several times previously as a bridesmaid (with several of these ladies) thus, I fully expect this from my MOH and bridesmaids. This is in addition to the standard fare of:

  • buying their [mismatched] dresses
  • buying their shoes
  • paying for their hair to be done (make-up and nails are optional)
  • attend bridal shower and bachelorette party (unless extenuating circumstances prevent it)
  • attend rehearsal and rehearsal dinner

Things like “show up on time for the wedding” or “smile in pictures” are just obvious things I don’t even feel they warrant to be listed as an “expectation.” I shouldn’t have to “expect” this as if it might not happen–It better happen. 

I can already tell I will be in the minority of “expecting” my bridesmaids to throw me a bridal shower/bachelorette party (although until I joined the Bee I had never known so many women who would never *dream* of making their bridesmaids do such–It’s pretty standard where I’m from). 

Post # 12
305 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I expect them to buy the dress, be there on time, and look presentable.  I have specifically told them that I do NOT want any showers or bachelorette parties.  And I do not expect them to help with any wedding related tasks- I don’t have any DIY’s and I have a coordinator who will make sure evertyhing goes smoothly.

Post # 13
4783 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

tanya4285:   Thank you!

Post # 14
2523 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I said this on your other thread but: 


– wear the dress we picked 

– get hair and make up done (I’m paying for their make up as a bit of pampering.  If they want their hair done, I’ll arrange it too.  But it’s not a requirement.  I will likely do the hair of one of the BMs.  She and I have the same curly hair and I usually do hers up when there’s a big event.  It takes seconds to do once she’s dried it curly, so it’s not a big deal.) 

– wear whatever black shoes they like 

– walk down the aisle ahead of me, stand beside me during the ceremony

– smile in photos 

– PARTAY! 🙂 

MOH also has to sign the required paperwork. 


Post # 15
7872 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

tanya4285:  I expected them to get fitted for their dresses (which we chose together but I had the final say), to organise a bachelorette party (a single night), be at a short rehearsal the night before. Then on the wedding day I expected them to be at my house in the morning, to get ready together, and be my support on the day. (We don’t do bridal showers here, but if I was in the USA I guess I would have expected that).

I didn’t expect them to help with anything, or have any expenses except the very cheap bachelorette (and I could have asked them to pay for the dresses, but they were cheap so I just did). 

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