What are "unnecessary" wedding expenses?

posted 3 years ago in Money
Post # 46
767 posts
Busy bee

I tend to like a wedding the more siple it is. the ones in grandma’s living room  where auntie cake maker makes the cake  and it looks like it. The ones where the dress came from a trunk in the attic or look like someone made it by hand, but that’s my taste. I embrace the homemade feel of things vs something that was done according to the newer way of thinking, every little things being perfect and such high expectations of certain food and entertaiment.

But since I assume you aren’t looking for a wedding in grandma’s living room as most aren’t, I would omit the expensive favors first. You can still have them, But I’ve always been fine with wrapped candy in a bowl on the table at these things. I don’t need or want a fancy and expensive engraved item.  People tend to spell my name wrong all the time on those things anyhow.

second, I would not go with the rented photo booth- A area with some kind of back drop with a inexpensive camera on a tripod works very well. People often just use their cell phones anyway. I was at a backyard wedding a few years back and there was no set photo area, but that didn’t stop anyone. people got infront of the screen that was set up as a back drop for the ceremony and took pictures with their own cameras and cell phone- had a great time!

After that, I would not go all out on the alcohol, such as not a open bar all night long- maybe change to the soft drinks or things after a set alcohol time.

please don’t put those single use cameras on the table. They never come out as expected and often people take them home themselves. hope this helps a bit.


Post # 47
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

hikingbride :  see I still dont get that point of photos over video – a recent studied found that post 6 months after the wedding virtually nobody looks at wedding photos (an actual study was done into how redundant that are) because you can only display a few and albums end up being put away an not looked at so video is litrally no more redundant than photos and video has the ability to be paused and printed (and are often as good if not better quality with a profesional video camera) so if you want a few displayable pictures for your wall its easily done

I’ve certainly never looked at any more than the photos on someone wall (seriously people hire a photographer for 6+ hours often and get 1000s of pictures, what are you going to possibly do with them) and everyone I knows pictures are in a memory box somewhere like the study varified so I just cannot fathom it

Post # 48
2357 posts
Buzzing bee

btob17 :  I have no photos of my family or my fiancee and I save for the few engagement pics(and those damn things are cheesy as hell as most are) so paying for a photograher was very important to us. No, I may not look at the thousand of pics. But when you dont have any, and you never had professional pics as a kid, ya kinda want to have some of your family. 

Other things I wouldn’t pay for:

Fancy wedding shoes that are only worn once and are a lot of $$.
engagement announcement

Post # 49
2146 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

VictorianChick :  each to there own, if people are happy thats great my point was simply that you can get prints from videography aswell so its a double edged sword unlike photography where you only get stills… I certainly think having memories of family and friends is the important bit either way


just thought of another unnessacery… any ‘fill out’ things, we had comment cards at our engagement party for people to write their address on and a quick message if they wanted (the point was to collect everyones postal address for the invites) but not one single person filled them out, at many points people picked them up and looked at the but no one used them so now I have 100 monogramed address cards with no addresses on them undecided

Post # 50
1250 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2021 - City, State

I’m not bothering with a videographer, a wedding album, save the dates, favours

not sure what else yet

Post # 51
270 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2016


Ceremony favors (like sunglasses, bug spray, etc.) – not to be confused with reception favors.

Signs (just DIY them, no one cares that much)

ENGAGEMENT PHOTOS! (We DIY-ed ours before my class one day. Had a friend come with us to the beach.)

Grooms cake

Dessert Table (you already have a wedding cake)

Expensive shoes (Who the hell is even going to see them? Unless you’re wearing a shorter dress. I literally bought a $30 pair and I’m a shoe freak!)

Extravagant cocktail hour menus/food (This can also spoil a lot of people’s appetite, we went with a fruit and cheese table–gorgeously decorated, but simple)

Silly details like – paying $100 ea. more for a chair type, the more expensive design of the crystal champagne glasses for toasting, etc.

Tall floral arrangements – Who wants to talk through trees? 

DJ – I recommend hiring an Emcee to be able to fade the volume in and out, make announcements, and work a sound system. I spent hours curating spotify playlists, worked with a crossfade, and everyone thought our friend who was Emcee-ing was actually DJ-ing and complemented him.

Post # 52
3332 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

We aren’t having a videographer or extensive decor. I won’t be spending a large amount on flowers. I hate programs, so we wont have those. Never heard of a grooms cake.

We did Save-The-Date Cards, but we are having a Destination Wedding. Our invites and Save-The-Date Cards were very inexpensive, so I don’t regret doing them. Fiance also really wanted favours, and I didn’t care. We got a budget and he is going to work it out. If he doesnt get around to it, I wont be heartbroken lol. Outfits – I think theyre a waste of money for 1 day. I did have my dress custom made, but its not that expensive. Getting ready outfits/after party/multiple dresses are a complete waste IMO.

We are spending money on: The venue (villa so the bridal party can stay there), food (3 course meal, canapes, mini pies for dessert) and alcohol (open bar, we can buy ourselves so does save a bit). Our photographer gave us a great deal because she wants to shoot at our venue, otherwise we would have also prioritized that.

Post # 53
5878 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

socalgirl1689 :  One big ticket item I skipped was videography. I figured I’d rather put all of the money into photoraphy instead.

I also skipped on a lot of small decor type items.  In the end, it adds up and it saves a lot of stress.  I didn’t bother with:

 – Programs

 – cake topper

 – save the dates 

 – garter

And I’m sure there were many others.  I skipped a lot of the little “cute” details because I think they mostly just add extra stress and expense for very little payoff.


Post # 54
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

Videographer, programs, altar/focal point at the end of the aisle, signs, wedding planner, guest book, and probably more. We chose to do electronic Save the Dates, so they were free and easy!

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