(Closed) what are you doing with your name?

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
  • poll: what are you doing with your name?

    keeping mine

    taking my new spouse's name

    hyphenating our names

    spouse is taking my name

    we're making up a whole new name

    undecided

    ice cream!

  • Post # 32
    Member
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    Originally my “FI” and I were both going to hyphanite our last names, but he had a change of heart due to social pressures… and his father, so i am choosing to keep my last name ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 33
    Member
    9967 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2012

    I’m taking his last name.  ๐Ÿ™‚

    Post # 34
    Member
    640 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    I would hyphenate but my name is already ten letters long and I already hate spelling it out. But it’s my name and so I am keeping it. We have talked about maybe changing out name to a new one but probably not until a while after were married.

    Post # 35
    Member
    4953 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: October 2018

    I’ll be MyMiddleName (the name I actually use) MyMaidenName HisLastName. 

    I’ve been waiting my whole life to get rid of my first name, so now is finally the chance. I’m not attached to my last name either. 

    Post # 36
    Member
    1437 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I changed to his last name. Didnt even think twice about it

    Post # 37
    Member
    9129 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

    View original reply
    @peachacid:  Pretty much the same.  I will change it legally but I plan to continue using my maiden name professionally since I am known by that name.  He really wants me to change over professionally too but my maiden name is better for my professional career (rhymes with peach and I live in Florida, see the theme of my wedding.)

    Post # 38
    Member
    107 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    View original reply
    @MapleMoose:  I know this post is from a while ago, but I just found it. I was wondering how you guys decided on a different last name and how you decided to even change your names entirely. I don’t think Fiance and I would do this, but since I was little I always wanted to have been able to pick my own name lol so what was the thought and inspiration behind choosing a nwe one?

    Post # 39
    Member
    2116 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2013

    Im the last family with my fathers name. so it was a hard decision to make. i also have two middle names . but in the end im taking his last name and keeping both middle names. but to save my fathers name im putting it as a second middle name for our future kids.

    Post # 40
    Member
    29 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Keeping mine! And my fiancé is excited that I am. If we have children, they will be FirstName MiddleName MyName HisName. I love the Hispanic custom of having two surnames, paternal and maternal, but it would be confusing to institute here.

    Post # 41
    Member
    208 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    View original reply
    @mgkush:  I know you were asking MapleMoose, but I thought I’d put in my two cents since my Fiance and I are picking a new last name too!  How we decided to even do it: I had been to a wedding where both people took a new last name, and it always left a mark on me.  I’m really sensitive to gender roles and sexism (have always been a strong feminist) and while I support every woman’s choice to do whatever she wants – for me, just the double standards made me feel sick.  Also, my mom kept her name; I’m proud of her for doing what felt right for her, but I always wished I had the same last name as her growing up.  So when I was first dating my Fiance (seriously, like on our THIRD date, I am insane) I brought up the idea I had seen, of taking a new one together, and how I loved the equality of it.  My Fiance (then friend-turned-BF) surprised me by really understanding, and even going further and saying how great it was that you’re BOTH going through such a big change together!  We talked about it over the next few years, and by the time we got engaged, we were both on board (though we knew the families would hate it…more on that later ๐Ÿ˜‰

    We had a hard time narrowing down…well, EVERYTHING that could be a name.  Once we got engaged and I actually called the registrar, we found out there were a lot more guidelines than we knew about.  So, for our state it went this way: 1) choose ANY name you want, but you then both need to do a legal name change through the courts ($437 each, puts an ad in the paper saying your intent, takes a few months to clear) or 2) make a name from segments of both your last names (then put it on your marriage license, no additional cost).

    We tried following the guidelines (bitching all the while about the waste of tax dollars regulating this so closely grumble grumble) and actually it helped us come up with the perfect, unique name that we love!  It’s short, it’s lovely, it’s different from both our original names but feels similar.  We are so happy.

    Now, his parents are extremely upset and are currently not talking to us…but that’s their deal, they’ll get over it or we’ll miss them.  We gave them plenty of warning and have been very respectful throughout the process; they just got too comfortable assuming we would cave under their disapproval and stop being the progressive, equality-obsessed hippies we are ๐Ÿ˜‰  Of course, their family is still pretty controlling and has often refused to respect him as an adult, separate from them, so…this big a blowout was gonna happen eventually, over SOMETHING (I’d bet all my savings: it would be over our kids’ names, when that day comes).  Maybe I’m super petty, but I have to say, there’s nothing so delicious as your spouse refusing to cave to emotional blackmail, AND standing up for your baby family at the same time <3  Gotta brag on my man, sorry ๐Ÿ™‚  

    I think it’s such a cool option and am thrilled that FOUR other people here considered it!  Woohoo!  But I know it’s not for everyone, and that’s understandable.  I’m just excited that there are more and more options out there, and new ones are being created everyday.  

    Post # 42
    Member
    1734 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I hate my last name so I am taking FI’s. Would LOVE to choose a brand-new name together, but he won’t go for that sort of thing.

    Post # 43
    Hostess
    2997 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: April 2014

    keep mine legally and professionally – going by his socially

    Post # 44
    Hostess
    8574 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2014

    Taking his last name.

    Post # 45
    Member
    54 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: January 2015

    My Fiance doesn’t care, but I’m taking his last name.  Feels more like we’re a family.

    Post # 46
    Member
    142 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    View original reply
    @whammy:  I loved this idea! The whole “going through a massive change” together really left an impression on me as well. And I mean, what is a marriage? Two people joining together as a unit, the idea to merge your two names into one is just….awesome.

    However, it was very important to SO that I take his last name. It was also very important to his family (he’s the only man in a generation of women) so this idea was immediately shot down when I brought up the idea.

    Ultimately, it’s an issue that’s more important to him than it is to me. So I’ve agreed to take his last name under the stipulation that he has to fill out all of the paperwork because let’s face it, it really is a pain in the ass to change a person’s name. 

    The topic ‘what are you doing with your name?’ is closed to new replies.

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