I’m having my bridesmaids do a bit more because I’m southern, but everything has been volunteer basis only!
My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister but she lives far away so her major contribution will be lending me her beaded cathedral veil from her wedding! She splurged on it and loved the idea of it being my “something borrowed.” My cousin lives near her and is a maid as well, but she is in high school (Jr maid if you will) so I’m not having her do anything!
My 3 local maids are doing a bit more. I did go dress shopping alone as they all have kids and are pretty busy, but they are going to visit the venues with me (getting married at a rose garden and reception is at a courtyard two blocks away). Since we are diying flowers (simple bouquets and TONS of bud vases) they have all agreed to help out. We will get the flowers 3-4 days before and then arrange them 1-2 days before. Fiance, step mom and I were down to do this ourselves as this will be our only big diy (everything else DIY is mostly done already, even though we don’t get married till April) but all three volunteered and one has some floral experience (as do I, whew).
I am buying dresses, but a few have offered to pay for theirs. I picked really cheap dresses so it doesn’t matter to me, lol.
They can get their hair, makeup, or nails done if they want. I’m not requiring it so I’m not paying for it (I’m paying for my step mom) unless someone tells me they want it done and they can’t afford it, in which case I will. My MUA is pretty affordable ($55 for maids) and I want them in simple bun style hair do or with their hair down, so they can easily do that on their own.
We have a coordinator so I can’t really imagine what else they would need to do. My sister is singning but she loves to sing and I really asked her more to make her happy (although she is a great singer and lots of people will enjoy her).
This might seem like a lot for people but where I’m from BMs do EVERYTHING. I’ve been a Maid/Matron of Honor twice and I’ve gone as far as buying a honeymoon for couple (plane tickets, hotel rooms, restaruant gift certs, clothes because it was a far different climate than where they live), making shady vendors give refunds and uphold contracts, cooking food, putting up folding chairs, and a whole ton of other things I can’t even imagine naming. None of my maids have expressed any opinions that I have given them too much to do. I will ask them about it as we get closer to the day, though!