(Closed) What are you requiring of your bridesmaids cost wise?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Total cost

    Under $100

    $100-200

    $201-300

    $301-400

    $401 +

  • Post # 46
    Member
    877 posts
    Busy bee

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    gatsbymermaid:  mine is basically the exact same as yours. I haven’t picked dresses yet, but hopefully under $150. I’m having them pay for their hair. Should total around $200 or (hopefully) less. They can wear any silver shoes. Old navy flip flops? Go for it. I’m buying the jewelry as part of their gift (and it is a gift- every wedding I’ve ever been in since I was 4 I received my jewelry as a gift). No one is having their makeup done, myself included. They can get their nails done or do it themselves, or I’ll do it because I also do nails and only have 4 bridesmaids. Done! 

    ETA, they’ll all probably have to pay for a night or two at a hotel and travel expenses, but I’m not counting that because they’d have to of they were in the wedding or just a guest. Plus I don’t have control of the numbers there.

    Post # 47
    Member
    57 posts
    Worker bee

    Basically $0… I paid for their dresses & jewelry, and will be paying for their hair & makeup. The only thing they need is a pair of black shoes (which I’m sure they all have already)

    Post # 48
    Member
    249 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

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    gatsbymermaid:  I’m fortunate enough to be able to treat my bridesmaids – it’s costing them nothing to be in my bridal party. I bought the dresses and I’m also paying for their hair and make up. But I won’t be getting them any gifts.

    My sister, who is my matron of honor, is traveling from another state so she’ll have expenses associated with that.

    Post # 49
    Member
    2758 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2008

    I told them to wear black dresses and black shoes that they already owned. I paid for their hair and nails. I think all they needed was $60 for the ferry and $30 for the vacation rental if they planned on staying overnight. All of them chose to spend more money – two of them bought new dresses even though the ones they already owned were perfect, another decided to spend a small fortune on a luxury hotel room, but that was on them.

    Post # 50
    Member
    183 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2015 - Poulsbo, WA

    I have two bridesmaids. I bought the dresses and will be covering hair and nails. Both were optional, but I’m having mine done and asked them if they wanted in on it too. All three of us are doing our own makeup. They bought their own shoes and both ended up with the same color and similar styles. They can wear what jewelry they want. I am getting them each a small gift. So their own expense is probably under $100.

    Post # 51
    Member
    229 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015 - Country Club

    I’m covering hair/makeup, all I’m asking is for them to pay for their dress ($150) and shoes ($30). I’m getting my nails done but I’m not picky on them having their nails done. I’m the only one who has acrylics. Jewlery is optional, I picked up Alex and Ani bracelets for 3/4 of them and a A&A necklace for my Maid/Matron of Honor to have as a gift, if they were it for the wedding, thats fine.

    Bachelorette parties I’m planning on covering myself, we’re doing dinner and drinks locally one night and then my Maid/Matron of Honor wants to take me to Niagara Falls for a girls weekend but I’m just saying anyone who wants to go can go, as my Maid/Matron of Honor is the driving force behind that and I know its expensive (I did it for my Maid/Matron of Honor and covered everyone for the hotel/dinner/drinks/strip club when she had hers, but I know thats a rarity)

    Post # 52
    Member
    554 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    My bridesmaids only had to pay for their dress ($200 + alterations) and if they wanted, new shoes (I only asked that they were in the nude/camel color family, they all wore flat camel colored sandals that they already owned). I gifted them earrings, which they’ve all worn multiple times again since the wedding; and paid for their hair. I had no nail requirements, I think that’s a little over-the-top to ask of them. 3 of my 4 bridesmaids and I are all pretty good at make-up so we did our own and helped my SIL with her eye make-up (because she asked).

    Post # 53
    Member
    522 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2017

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    gatsbymermaid:  Honestly, if there is no hotel expense for your wedding, I personally wouldn’t mind paying for my own hair if I was in your wedding. That’s just me.

    Post # 54
    Member
    539 posts
    Busy bee

    aside from a $150 dress and possible alterations, everything else is up to them. they were asked if they wanted hair and makeup services ($80 each), but they don’t know i’m gifting them hair. they all opted for professional makeup, even though they definitely can all work magic with a mascara wand.

    shoes, jewelry, nails – what they do or don’t have done is totally up to them. the bridal party is throwing us a jack & jill, and Maid/Matron of Honor shared she’s got some fun planned for a bachelorette, so i know there will be expenses along the way and want to keep expenses i can personally control  to a minimum. with my circle of friends, staying at the hotel after the wedding and travel expenses are just part of being a part of the fun and we’ve all done it for eachother.

    Post # 55
    Member
    524 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2015

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    gatsbymermaid:  I’m not making them pay for anything but shoes. I offered to pay for thier dresses but all of them refused and wanted to pay themselves, I just told them plum purple is the color (about $150 each) they get to pick the style as long as my Maid/Matron of Honor was different than the BMs. They are getting their shoes too, I told them I didn’t mind what they looked like as long as they were silver (so maybe $20-$30 bucks if that). They can get hair and make up done professionally, or do it themselves, or not at all. My wedding is pretty laid back haha. The total for them will probably be about $180. Maybe closer to $220 for my Maid/Matron of Honor because she lives a few hours away. I’m buying the jewelry as a gift.

    And you are right about hair being regional. I’ve never had the bride offer to pay for my hair/make up.

    Post # 56
    Member
    855 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2014

    All they had to pay for was their dress which was just over $100.  One of them/my cousin helped me find and ordered the necklaces.  She refused to let me pay her back, said it was part of her gift.

    I paid to have their makeup and lashes done.  They did each others hair and nails the night before.

    Travel-wise, they all live about an hour drive from our venue so they didn’t need to stay over if they didn’t want to.

    Post # 57
    Member
    2792 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2015

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    gatsbymermaid: Mine needed any navy blue dress and any pair of nude shoes (didn’t have to be heels). I doubt anyone spent more than $100 on their dress and one of mine bought her dress for $12. I gave them the option of hair and makeup if they wanted it and they all chose to have their hair done ($60) and one got her makeup done ($60). I do agree with PPs that you should not tell them they need to have their hair done professionally unless you’re planning to foot the bill. You can offer it, but you need to be prepared to be sincerely okay with them not getting it professionally done unless you’e willing to pay for it. 

    Post # 58
    Member
    6349 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I checked the “$401+” one simply because we are having a Destination Wedding in Puerto Rico, so it’s going to be a bit pricey for everyone involved. I did tell all my BMs about it being a Destination Wedding when I asked them to stand up though, and I told each one that I would totally understand if they can’t do it because it’ll be an expensive trip. I also offered to help any of them with money for the hotel or airfare if they couldn’t swing it.
    However, if you’re talking about expenses they’ll incur other than those of the normal guest at our wedding…then it would be only for the dress. And I can’t say how much that will be for each of them since I’m allowing them to pick their own. Otherwise they don’t have to buy. I’m paying for their hair and makeup for the wedding. They don’t need shoes as we’ll be barefoot on the beach. After, at the reception, I’ve told them they care wear whatever they want: flip flops, flats, who cares! I’m not requiring any special jewelry either. They can wear whatever they want. Same with their nails. If they want to get them done before the wedding that’s fine, but I’m not requiring it.
    I’m sure they’re throwing me a bachelorette party and a shower (they’ve already asked about certain dates and what I might want to do) but I told them in the beginning that it wasn’t necessary (but it is super appreciated because I love all my girls so much and it’s very nice of them to want to do these things for me). Especially since half my BMs don’t live here (Chicago) I don’t expect all of them to be able to come to/participate in everything. And I told them I was totally fine with this. So I think overall I’m being pretty reasonable.

    Post # 59
    Member
    1157 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2016

    My girls are picking out knee-length light pink sundresses and brown sandals. Any kind or style they choose to make sure it’s in their budget. Otherwise, they can wear their hair in ponytails for all I care. I’ll be buying the wraps for their nails so we can have a “girls night” and do our nails and it’s cheaper to buy them as a set. I’m pretty easy going. 

    Post # 60
    Member
    703 posts
    Busy bee

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    gatsbymermaid:  I gave my bridesmaids complete control over the dress and they found one they all liked for $50. That’s the only thing they are paying for (I’m not even having a shower/bachelorette party, so literally the cost = $50)

    For all the other costs, I asked their preference, “Would you rather pay to have your hair done or DIY?” “Should we try to find matching shoes or does everyone already own something that would work”….my girls made it clear that spending $$$ on my wedding was not in their budgets, so I let it at that…. Eventually I decided that because having matching shoes was important to me, I bought shoes for everyone. Later on, I made the same choice regarding hair — I really want the expereince of everyone getting ready together, so I’m footing the bill for everyone. If I wasn’t willing to pay for it, I wouldn’t ask it of them.

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