(Closed) What are you requiring of your bridesmaids cost wise?

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Total cost
    Under $100 : (53 votes)
    32 %
    $100-200 : (51 votes)
    30 %
    $201-300 : (31 votes)
    18 %
    $301-400 : (13 votes)
    8 %
    $401 + : (20 votes)
    12 %
  • Post # 91
    734 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2013

    My BMs bought their dresses for $38 each and could wear any shoes they wanted as long as they were black. I paid for their hair, nails, jewelry, hotels, transportation and covered most of their meals while they were in town. They had to buy plane tickets and just a couple meals.

    Post # 92
    1270 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: April 2016

    I’m a UK bee and I think the customs are different. I’ve paid for my BMs’ dresses. One of my BM’s aunt (very close family friend of mine) is doing our hair. So only costs would be same as other guests, I hope!

    Post # 93
    1730 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    View original reply
    gatsbymermaid:  My bridesmaids only paid for their shoes (I only specified a color, so if they already had shoes, they didn’t have to pay) and one of my bridesmaids paid for her own travel (short flight and hotel room she shared with her boyfriend and another couple). The other bridesmaids were my sisters who live locally and SIL, who had her travel expenses paid for by my in-laws. I paid for their dresses ($265) and hair & makeup ($120). As part of their gift, I got them a necklace, but their other jewelry was up to them – and I think they all just wore things they previously owned. 

    My sister (MOH) hosted my shower, but my mom basically paid for everything, so they didn’t have to incur costs for that, either. My bachelorette party was very low-key and low cost for my sister and Bridesmaid or Best Man who hosted.

    Post # 94
    737 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2015

    Nothing. I paid for the dresses and they both wore shoes they already owned.  I don’t really understand why its the bridesmaids’ responsibility to foot the bill for a bunch of stuff the bride wants, its her day and she’s asking her friends to show up and wear a dress, she should pay for it.

    I didn’t have a shower or bachelorette, so no expenses there. Although one of my friends (not a bridesmaid) from my pole classes put on a pole party in my honor which was a ton of fun and super sweet of her. 

    I personally think most brides expect way to much these days from their ‘friends.’  People have their own lives and expenses, and a wedding that isn’t theirs is just not on the top of the priority list. Brides are spending 10-30k on a wedding and they can’t consider their wedding parties clothes (and if they want them, hair and make-up) into the budget? It just seems ridiculously self-centered and selfish. 

    Post # 95
    97 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    View original reply
    Rubyrain88:  im from aust and have never had to pay my own hair and makeup. I wouldn’t have minded if I did but it was never expected.


    I paid for dresses ($430 each) and hair ($120 each), makeup ($150 each),  alterations (tba), nails (probably $40 each), jewellery (is being gifted by a designer friend) And accommodation the night before if they want it. 

    The girls are paying for the hens, shoes (any shoe in any colour, just has to be comfy enough they can wear it all day and night) and accommo the night of the wedding. And I’m sure they have paid some misc things along the way, like one bm is getting facials because she wants to look fresh. 

    I just didn’t want to put them out and we were in the lucky position to be able to afford to pay. 

    Post # 96
    683 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    There is no option I can choose (sorry) in this poll bc since I only “required” them to pick their own dresses and shoes, their budget was totally up to them – my MOH/sister spent so little on her dress which she got in a thrift store and it was beautiful and appropriate, my other Bridesmaid or Best Man had her dress already and it worked perfectly, my SIL Bridesmaid or Best Man insisted on going to an expensive bridal shop and ordering her dress and even getting dyed shoes to match, which was fine but I can’t actually imagine why when she could have gone anywhere and gotten something just as good and there was no need for dyed shoes, but oh well, I tried to be nice about the dresses.  There was no bachelorette party (and I didn’t expect one), they did throw a shower which was paid 1/3 by my Maid/Matron of Honor, 1/3 by my parents and 1/3 by my super Bridesmaid or Best Man, so I guess the money my SIL Bridesmaid or Best Man spent on the dress she didn’t have to and chose not to contribute to the shower in any way (even with a gift).  Other than that, I provided their accomodations, I offered to pay for the MUA (my sister/MOH and super Bridesmaid or Best Man insisted on paying me back), they all insisted on paying for their hair which was fine with me I can’t force anyone to let me pay, but again since everything was kind of at their discretion then it’s hard to quantify it into a number for each one.  Is there some other Bridesmaid or Best Man expense that they may have had? No, I don’t think so.

    Post # 97
    223 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: March 2016

    View original reply
    Jeniper:  That’s why I added generally 🙂 I don’t know where you are in Aus and you’re lucky you haven’t had to and can pay for your bridesmaids 🙂 I haven’t heard of a bride paying in any wedding I’ve been involved in or a friends been a bridesmaid – so it’s awesome that you can pay 🙂 

    Post # 98
    5360 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2015

    View original reply
    gatsbymermaid:  My bridesmaids are required to buy a wedding-appropriate grey dress and be at the wedding. That’s it. So basically, it shouldn’t cost them anything more than it would if they were just a guest and had to buy a new dress. My Maid/Matron of Honor bought a $200 dress because she has a great job and liked it. My sister bought a $25 one because she’s broke and liked that one. The men, including my bridesman, are asked to wear grey slacks and a white shirt. We are providing their matching ties. 

    Post # 99
    347 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    2monthweddingplanner:  This! I don’t know how it became acceptable for the bridal party to be “required” to drop so much cash for someone else’s wedding.

    Since I can’t afford to buy everyone their attire, I asked them to wear black dresses and black shoes that they already owned or I could let them borrow. Hair/makeup/jewelry/nails is something I never thought about dictating, so they can do whatever they want in that regard. No bachelorette party, and I’m trying to make sure the shower they want to throw is modest.

    Post # 100
    656 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: Church

    View original reply
    gatsbymermaid:   Dress and shoes. Hair and makeup are optional. I told them to please not to worry about buying an expensive dress rather buy something that they would wear again. I just ask that the dresses be in a dark color with some sort of sleeves.  Purple is my favorite. I gave them names of salons to try if they like. Makeup runs between 85- 100, hair around 45. This isn’t unusual in my town for brides and bms to do this. Everyone is on a budget. We’re checking places like Ebay, JCpenny, Macy,  DB and a few other places that my fellow Weddingbees have suggested. 

    Post # 101
    103 posts
    Blushing bee

    I paid for the dresses and jewelry, and they’re all wearing shoes they already own.

    A few are choosing to get their hair done professionally, but I didn’t ask them to do this; they just didn’t want to worry about doing it themselves.

    I felt guilty asking them to spend anything for the wedding.  I had a wonderful shower and bachelorette party that they spent a lot of money on!

    Post # 102
    1308 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: May 2016 - St. John\'s Lutheran Church

    View original reply
    aliaslee:  I was thinking as I was reading these responses that they all seem to directly contradict the “How much did you pay as a bridesmaid?” thread, where everyone universally said they paid over a grand to be in a wedding. But perhaps the people who are cashing in on this thread are people who are proud of how little they extorted from their bridal party, so good on them.

    Post # 103
    30 posts

    I have 6 girls and 3 different dresses. The dresses vary in price, but we are paying for half (plus $20 EACH for expedited shipping because 2 waited so long to get fitted). Basically, the dresses range from $79-$91. The dresses are long, so they can wear any shoes but I’d prefer them to be low heels or flat (since I arranged the line up and the dresses from shortest to tallest). So far thats all. I really havent made any decisions as far as jewelry goes! They can get their hair done if they want to, but I am only paying for myself as I do not require them to have theirs done.

    Post # 104
    237 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    Dress $50

    Shoes $30-40

    Optional, but everyone opted in for makeup ($35) and some for hair ($35.)


    Post # 105
    994 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2015

    The dress was $70 and they’re all out of town so they’ll need a hotel room which is $99. I’m getting a suite so I told them they could all stay with my the night before since they’re coming for the rehearsal. They can do whatever they want for silver shoes, hair, and makeup. Sone are spending money on these and some are using shoes they have or doing their own hair/makeup but I don’t care, that’s up to them. I didn’t really care about a shower/bach but they wanted to throw one. The shower was nice and simple at my MOH’s house and I think the bach will be dinner and drinks in our city so nothing crazy. So really the only required costs are about $160 for the dress and hotel. They had all said their dress budget was up to $250 but I thought it was crazy for them to spend that on a dress they’d most likely wear once. 

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