Post # 46
Just got over an extreme bout of anxiety and another illness I suffered with for the last 3 or so years. Anxiety is pretty much gone but now I have to figure out and get used to being “normal” again. I’m excited to start living again but there are so many pieces I have to pick up. Also, I’ve lost all social skills or so I think, since I’ve been so isolated the past few years. Also, lost a lot of relationships and don’t know how or if I should repair them since I feel like people weren’t there for me when I needed them the most. Still and all, I am happy to have my mind and personality back!!! I feel freedom and it feels great! Any bees out there suffering with anxiety, you can and will get better! It starts with excepting you have it and getting rid of those seedlings of negative/fearful thoughts before they blossom!
Post # 47
my job is my only struggle. It pays well, but the hours are horrible simply because one of my coworkers changed their availability and refuse to change it back. He basically didnt have a car for two months, but now he has one, and im guessing he’s intentionally not saying anything in order to keep his awesome hours that he now is getting every week.
So out of the four of us im stuck with the WORST schedule. Ive suffered for three months at this point, and im over it i plan on just saying “screw it” and talking to my boss. Granted i might have to throw an employee under the bus, but im exhausted and want my perfect little normal schedule back.
some of my bosses arent too fond of me, so im going to try and go through the one that likes me the most. On top of this i have yet to get my wedding approved off, which is a whole different long story.
Post # 48
Feeling like I can’t do anything right in my current job, every time I try to address it and figure out a way to be successful I am told more things i am doing wrong, I seriously feel like any day I’ll be demoted or fired, I am the only one working in my household right now so any change in our financial structure will be difficult, trying to figure out how to communicate with my husband better,…..ugh so many things. Glad i’m not alone.
Post # 49
Fertility struggles & just having anxiety about work.
Post # 50
Job issues. I’ve been trying to find a new job for a month now and running all over the place like a chicken with my head cut off going to interviews and meeting with recruiters, but no luck. Adding to the stress is the fact that I absolutely hate my field and I’m not excited about any potential jobs in it. It pays very well and we are looking to save for a down payment, though, so I can’t enter a new field for at least another year if not longer. Ever since I finished school and started working 3 years ago, I’ve had trouble sleeping at night because I’m dreading work the next day. I also have no idea which alternate fields I want to enter or whether or not they will accept me with a lack of relevant experience. It’s also not helpful to my mental state that my Fiance, who is in the same exact field, loves his job and is awesome at it while I lack all passion for the work and am just kind of hanging in there. Of course I’m happy he is happy and doing well, but his success underscores how unhappy I am in my professional life.
Post # 51
FantasticFawn: what field of work do you do.
Post # 52
We’re moving to Hawaii! (For DH’s work) should be exciting right? The process to get my son, cat and dog there is completely stressing me out. Moving has brought up custody issues so I’ve hired an attorney, which is proving to be costly. Hawaii is rabies free so there’s a whole checklist of things to do before the animals can enter the state, which is also proving to be costly. $400 per animal for a blood test proving that they have a certain amount of rabies antibodies in their blood.. if the don’t meet all the requirements in a certain time frame they will have to be quarantined up to 120 days at 14.50 a day per animal with an unknown fee for them being there.
I’m just ready to have this all figured out.
Post # 53
- Wedding: May 2016 - San Clemente Church, Italy
Dealing with a crazy, violent, stalking ex who was arrested for attacking me Years ago. Since that time, despite restraining orders, he has made my life a living hell. He filed fake complaints with the Bar trying to ruin my career and reputation. He filed 5 different lawsuits against me just to get me to come to court and engage so he could threaten and intimidate me. He came to the university where I taught law and made a violent scene. He made false complaints against my sister who works for a federal agency. He made false reports against a close friend who was a cop.
I just withdrew into a shell, afraid to expose people I love to harm. I was so frustrated with myself for being afraid, for not having the tenacity to fight back. He just always seemed to be a step ahead. People lost a lot of respect for me because how could a “successful lawyer” be so utterly terrified and defeated. I finally faced the demon and went to court to get everything dismissed and bar him from suing me ever again. And WON. But I just received the papers that he’s filing an appeal. He won’t win, but that’s never been the point. He filed during Christmas which he always does because it’s always such a traumatic time for me and knows that.
But not this Christmas, I’ve met the love of my life and he proposed on Christmas. I didn’t even find out about the appeal or receive all the docs until I picked them up half way through January!! It was a very different experience this time. I’m not afraid and I’ve already won. Because I’m alive and I can still love and trust!
I am clawing and scratching to get my life, my health and my confidence back. I had just given up for a long time. Put the pieces back together are hard as hell. It has cost me so much, almost everything. Grateful to be healing and finally moving on after almost 7 years of hell.
So sorry for the long post, Bees. I started and the words and the pain just kept rolling out onto the page. I’m sending heartfelt prayers and good wishes to each and everyone here who is struggling.
Post # 54
- Wedding: March 2018 - The Venue, Barkisland, UK
I’m sorry to see the troubles everybody is facing. I am not surprised that so many of them have a financial basis.
My struggles are my grandfather has terminal cancer, although it was diagnosed summer 2015 and he’s doing very well. Also my parents have separated, I think. At least Dad has moved out. For a while there it was very messy but they seem to be friends against currently so I don’t really know what the deal is and the not knowing is the worst bit for me.
I’m another Bee who’s trying very hard to be positive. The last couple of weeks it’s been a lot easier to do this and I’m not certain why but I’m not knocking it. The change could be as silly as this “mood calendar” I bought as a Valentines gimmick. You basically change the page according to how you’re feeling and I thought it could help OH out so he has a better idea of what he’s walking in to! Whenever I’m thinking about setting it to something negative I start questioning why and seem to reason myself around to something like “optimistic” instead.
Post # 55
- Wedding: December 2016 - Hunter Valley
This thread is amazing and I want to send positive wishes to everyone who posted. It is so refreshing to see people be honest about how they feel. I especially empathise with anyone going through physical or mental Heath related stress and the loss of a loved one.
At the moment my biggest stress is that I am pregnant and working so hard to finish off my last year of university to become a teacher and I am pushing the limits of what I can do to try to get all the prac teaching done before the baby comes so that I can finish and help my Fiance with our expenses because things are getting very tight for us financially. He is miserable in his job and can only find equivalent jobs with a lower starting salary and it’s so hard to know what to do. I would prefer for him to take a more stable job even if it’s slightly less money but we almost can’t afford to right now. Trying not to stress so it doesn’t affect the baby but it’s getting harder and harder. I think this will be our most challenging year yet but I know we still have a lot to be thankful for and I’m trying to make the baby’s health my biggest priority.
Post # 56
Things are going ok now. Darling Husband has been out of a job for the past month, but is about to start a new one hopefully this week once his background check and drug test clear. Nevertheless, the month without his paycheck has put us behind in saving when we’re looking to buy a house by May.
My main struggles are associated with my job at the moment. I graduated with my PhD in December and started a postdoctoral fellowship doing neuroscience research in January. The research is very interesting, but the lab is small and I’m alone most of the time. It’s not a university lab, so we don’t have grad students rotating through or a steady stream of undergrads. It gets very lonely and boring, especially when my previous labmates were my best friends. I just feel like the years of college and grad school, plus the mountain of student loan debt haven’t paid off.
Post # 57
Thanks to everyone who posted.. it’s nice to be able to connect with you all in a different way. I think this is a more honest representation than you would usually get of the levels of mental health struggles, grief, financial issues. I don’t think we are required to share those struggles with the world, but of course our own issues can make us feel so alone when we’re really, really not.
My own challenge right now is living on a different continent from my Fiance with no current end date. We want to settle down and start a family together, but I don’t know when or where that will happen. We miss each other a lot.
Post # 58
happybunny177: morning sickness, a thrown out back, and a shitty scheduler at work. I’ll randomly get 8 days off in a row and then be scheduled A week straight of 12 hour shifts. The crazy hours are just killing my body, after my maternity leave I’m planning to find a different job (or just go casual and pick up when I want). I just can’t take all the heavy lifting when I’ve got an already injured back plus being pregnant. I got off work this morning, laid on the floor of my living room and literally could not get back up from how bad my back pain was. But I didn’t want to call in because I need my sick time for maternity leave, so I’m going back for another 12 hour shift tonight… I’m just mentally and physically exhausted. Ugh, end rant.
Post # 59
To all the bees who responded to this thread-
THANK YOU so much for your honesty. i really felt for each and every one of you and extend a heartfelt hug. I am glad we were able to be open about what’s really going on in our lives, and help support each other. Know that you’re not alone in this thing called life, and that there is always love, support, and encouragement when needed.
Post # 60
My mom, who I am VERY close to, has stage 4 cancer and a few years left at best to live. It’s time for me to start to trying to conceive soon but she lives across the country and its a very scary prospect to be pregnant or have a tiny baby when I need to be there for my dying mom. My dad also has stage 4 cancer… they are divorced and I’m not nearly as close to him, so it’s a whole different thing.