(Closed) what are your ideal baby making ages?

posted 9 years ago in Babies
Post # 107
Member
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I had my first at 20 but now I am 27 and ready foor another but the wedding is august 2011Frown

Post # 108
Member
12 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2010

When I was in my early 20s, I always thought 28 sounded like a good age.  Still young enough to have energy to play but old enough to be established in my career, marriage, etc.  As it turns out, I didn’t finish grad school until I was 32 and married at 34.  So now, I’m 34 and we’re just starting TTC.  So it looks like it’ll be 35 or 36!  Funny thing is, I am healthier and happier now than I was at 28 anyway!! So my advice to the younger women on the board – have an age but be flexible!

Post # 109
Member
5091 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: January 2012

27-35 for both of us.  We’re going to try for two, maybe three, and we want to have them earlier rather than later but with a good amount of space in between.  Honestly I’ll probably actually be 28 for the first one, 31 for the second, and around 34 if we have that third one.  We’ll see.

Post # 110
Member
966 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My preferred ages are already gone, or are too soon to consider (wanted 23, 26, and MAYBE 29.)  As it is, it looks like it’ll be 27/28, 30/31, and MAYBE 32.  In my family, 34 is the magic age for birth defects, high risk pregnancies/preemies, and stillborns.  DAMMIT, I want to get a move on!  (I want to cry when I think of him NOT proposing until after my birthday…  but he knows I want to meet his family first, which’ll be around Thanksgiving.)

Post # 111
Member
1046 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

We’re talking in about 5 years, which will make us both about 32. I’m in medical school and then have residency, both of which will be done by that 5 year mark. Ideally, I think we both might even want to wait a little bit longer, but since it could take a while to get pregnant and we’ll most likely want two children, it’s probably likely that we’ll start trying around age 32.

Post # 112
Member
29 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2010

If all goes to plan, I’ll be 24 when we have our first, we want 3 kids about 2-3 years apart and I don’t want to be having kids too far into my 30s 😀

Post # 113
Member
326 posts
Helper bee

i would love it to be before I hit 30 but it’s not looking like that will happen since I won’t be qualified until 29!

Post # 114
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

Life is what happens while we’re making plans.. right? 😉

I always figured I’d have a large family.. like five or six kids!   I got pregnant at age 19 in my second semester of college.  Oops. I was just about to turn 20.

I don’t ever have any regrets EXCEPT that I wish I’d had him later.  He is awesome and I think I did a pretty bang up job… but I still think I was too young and in some ways we “grew up” together.  As a result of my unintentional pregnancy, I ended up quitting school, marrying for all the wrong reasons (not his father, someone else), just a big long “wrong path” in life… but it did give me my second son, who I had when I was 26.  I really wanted to have them closer together but that didn’t happen.  They are still close though.

Divorced, met my Fiance, who had a 4 month old daughter when we met.. and we’ve lived as a family for over 7 years.

Now I am 39 (!! I still hate to see that in writing!) and finally with about 60 credits at the community college, doing what I started 18 years ago!  Planning to transfer in one or two more semesters then still have 2 years after that before I have my degree.

I did everything kind of backwards.  I still think about having another baby and haven’t ruled it out completely but if I wait until I finish school I will be 41, 42 and I am not sure how I feel about that! 

Still, the “baby fever” lingers.. and my 18 year old thinks I am nuts for even saying it!

Post # 115
Member
605 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I just want to give a word of caution to Bees who want to wait until their mid-to-late 30s to have children: If you plan to wait, I strongly encourage you to go to an ob/gyn to have fertility tests. Tell them you at least want your Day-3 FSH measured and consider a “Clomid Challenge” test to measure your ovarian reserve and give you some idea of your fertility level. Also, if your cycles are irregular or suddenly start to change, don’t ignore this. You may be overlooking important signs.

I had my fertility checked just after my 36th birthday, when I was ready to have kids, and was blindsided by the results: my window of fertilty had already slammed shut! I saw specialist after specialist and tried everything possible for 2.5 years (drugs, in vitro, etc.) and could not conceive a baby.

I realize that my fertility prognosis is in the bottom 1% and most of you won’t have the troubles I did. Many women have effortless and healthy pregnancies late in their 30s and well into their 40s, but I personally know several women who struggled hard to get pregnant from 35-45 and had very difficult pregnancies and delliveries.

Learn all you can and don’t assume that everything will go perfectly for you. If you and Darling Husband are truly not ready, consider making and freezing some embryos for implantation later. It sounds like something from a sci-fi novel, but I can’t describe the heartbreak I’ve experienced from not considering these things while I still had a chance. It’s the single worst thing that ever happened to me.

Our media does us a real disservice by presenting stories of older women starting families without showing the difficulties or focusing on the minority for whom this is no longer possible.

Post # 116
Member
1805 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

@jadeblue:   I am so sorry for you. 🙁    Thanks for sharing good information.

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