(Closed) What are your expectations for your bridesmaids and groomsmen?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
183 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t expect them to attend anything other than the wedding. I don’t expect them to give gifts to me or to host anything.  I am paying for Bridesmaid or Best Man dresses, shoes, jewelry, makeup/hair. I realize this is not very typical. We will have a destination wedding abroad and all my BMs are overseas family members.  

Post # 4
Member
1853 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@Ashley_P:  I expect them to show up and wear what I tell them to. If they don’t like it enough to pay for it I’ll buy it for them (Did this for 1/2 the wedding party), and wear the makeup that the MU will put on them the I payed for. Possibly wear the hair bun clips that I might buy for them.

That’s all. Even if I have to go and get 2 of them. They can’t afford to fly and say they have the time off-so one of us is driving up to pick them up.

Most of the groomsmen are not even paying for a hotel. They are crashing at our place.

Post # 5
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

I expected them to show up on time on the day of the wedding.  I expected the guys to wear a black suit with the tie that we gave them.  That is all.

Post # 6
Member
187 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

the only expectations i have from them are to pay for their attire/accessories and their room for the hotel. I don’t expect any parties or even want a bridal shower (i’m not a big attention seeker) so the wedding is enough for me.

I realize how expensive weddings are and I would pay for everyones attire if i could afford it, but my fiance and i are funding the whole wedding oursevles.  but I have tried very hard to pick out dresses that aren’t pricy. I am also giving them the option of having hair and makeup done professionally or if they would rather do it themselves.

Post # 7
Member
160 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I expect them to buy the clothing that they helped determine, show up to the wedding, rehearsal dinner, bachelorette/bachelor parties, and showers (for the girls). My bridesmaids have already said they are throwing me a shower, so I guess I expect that at this point!

I say “expect” because they have all agreed to do these things already, so I think it would be difficult to expect anything more/less… But I’m sure everyone is different.

Post # 8
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I expect them to wear the attire that was chosen (yes, they have to pay for it). I expect them to show up to the wedding. (This is iffy with a couple BM’s at this point lol).

 

Post # 9
Member
9053 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I expected them to either help me shop for a dress, or wear the one I sent them.  They were to pay for it.  They were to show up on time for the wedding, wearing their hair up, and a black open toe shoe and any jewelry they choose to be simple and silver toned.

I had a shower, which they all attended and I was pretty happy about.  No gifts expected as they were all out of town and were already incurring significant costs to be included.

Post # 10
Member
8446 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

Show up and have fun, although my girls have really gone above and beyond with helping….Groomsmen not so much.

Post # 11
Member
11233 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2013

Bridesmaids:
– Pay for dresses
– Show up on time on the day of, be ready on time
– Don’t create drama
– Be up front if any problems arise
– Attend any wedding-related events that they are able to

Groomsmen:
– Pay for outfits
– Show up on time on the day of, be ready on time 
– Don’t create drama
– Be up front if any problems arise 
– Attend any wedding-related events that they are able to (mostly just the bachelor party, rehearsal) 

Post # 12
Member
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@vorpalette:  I like the “don’t create drama”…unfortunately this is in full swing in dramatown

Post # 13
Member
633 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Get their dresses, show up in their dresses, looking presentable, and most importantly, BE ON TIME.

I would appreciate the whole shower/bachelorette/DIY participation thing, but I won’t be upset if they can’t make to everything or help me out at every turn.

Our plans have halted, so right now, that’s all I can think about expecting…my family/friends are either going to love me or hate for how few expectations I actually have!

Post # 14
Member
4272 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I guess I did not have much expectations for them other then being there for me at the wedding, shower and bachelorette party. I also wanted them to be sociable and interact with the guests at the wedding. I did not expect or really want gifts from them. I let them do their hair and makeup how they wanted. My bridesmaids referred to me as being the “best bride in the world.” That is how I am though in pretty much all other aspects besides just the wedding plans.

Post # 15
Member
609 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

Since our entire bridal party will be traveling far for us (most of them live in the US, one lives in Greece; our wedding is in Thailand) and paying a lot for tickets and accommodation, Fiance and I are really not expecting much at all. We just want everyone to have a good time. In fact, we are hoping to do more for our bridal party since not a single one of them hesitated to say yes to being a part of our day when we asked, despite the enormous expense. We are paying for their attire, and giving them little things here and there that they can use for this trip.

Post # 16
Member
1497 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t expect any gifts, showers, or parties. They are taking time off and flying in from out-of-state. I will ask them to pay for their dresses, but I will pay for their hotel rooms, and maybe splurge for a spa day for all of us. They are sweet girls and I know they will not create any drama. 🙂

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