What are your experiences with your eating disorder?

posted 1 year ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

I had little success trying to manage it on my own or with self help books… but getting rid of the toxic people in my life and getting a therapist and a good support system was key.

I got rid of a boyfriend who got mad at me for trying to treat it, he wanted me to just pretend I didnt have it when I was around him; a sorority full of girls who either had EDs (they were sympathetic, but as you probably know people with EDs fare terribly around other people with EDs.. its a competitive disease by nature) or girls who really encouraged my ED (“oh my god I wish I had your discipline–what is your secret?!” is not a helpful thing to tell someone with an ED..); and I had to kind of cut my mother out for a bit while I recovered.. a lot of my ED stemmed from her demanding I be perfect.  She also was angry I had an ED and thought it was disgusting and that I should stop it.  So.. helpful.  I didn’t cut her out 100%, I still sent the odd email or filled my dad in that I was doing ok, so they wouldnt worry unduly, but spending time with her was bad for me.

Getting rid of the boyfriend and decreasing contact to almost nothing with my mum was a big step (the sorority came later–they werent as big a part of my life).  I got a new boyfriend who, when I opened up to him, was supportive and encouraged me to see a therapist.  I did and that’s where the real change happened.

Recovery wasnt overnight, and there were relapses, but over the years the relapses have been shorter and less severe.  I’ve been mostly good for the last 8 years I’d say.. mostly great for the last 3.. which I’m very proud of.  I’ve even been able to diet healthily, which is something my therapist said would never happen (lost some weight before the wedding).  I’m pregnant now and I thought my ED would play a much bigger role than it has, which I’m also very proud of.

Your question was very vague so that’s all I’ve got I guess.. happy to answer more specific questions if I can.  I hope you get the help you need to regain control over your life.

Post # 6
Member
9561 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

coffeebean4444 :  breakups are triggering to me, too.  Just remember you can and should always go back to your counselor if you need some extra support.  

Post # 7
Member
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

Only a close friend of mine knows I had an eating disorder a few years back.

I’ve struggled with episodes of bulimia and anorexia.

i was planning a trip to Mexico with my boyfriend at the time, and began counting calories like crazy, as well as exercising twice a day. I would limit myself to about 1000 calories a day. Some days I would eat significantly less… and then I started to get bizarre symptoms like feeling cold all of the time, having no energy, and I realized my body was literally shutting down. I was working my body so hard with exercise and not providing it with enough fuel to keep going…

After that trip I stopped counting calories because I was a healthy weight and happy with my body, but then I started to put on a bit of weight… so I flipped to the other side… I didn’t want to count calories again and working out as much as I did was borderline impossible, so I developed a major problem with binge eating and then making myself throw up. I would eat super healthy during the day and then get home and snack on everything in sight. Within a period of about an hour I would eat a tortilla with cheese, whatever leftovers I found in the fridge, some cookies, lunch meat, pickles, anything else I was craving… and then feel so uncomfortably full and disgusted with myself that I would go throw up. Sometimes I would make myself puke just so I could eat more… I thought it was an “easy way to lose weight” if I got to taste the food but my body didn’t get the calories. I remember being legitimately irritated if a family member would come home in the middle of me eating because then I couldn’t binge like I would if I was by myself. It was truly disgusting.

Obviously after a few months I realized the damage I was doing to my body and stopped. 

 

Eating disorders are a struggle. It’s so much more than just being “about the way you look”. Sometimes it’s an aspect of someone’s life that they CAN control when the rest of their life might feel out of control. When people compare it to being addicted to alcohol or drugs, I always explain that it’s not that simple to break the habit. Food is always a part of your life – a very necessary part to your survival, you consume it every day. It’s like being a Percocet addict and being given percocets everyday – but expected not to abuse them. It’s a hard addiction to break because you are tempted with it every. Single. day. I am just so glad that I was able to break out of my cycle before I did irreversible damage to my body. 

Now I am a bit heavier than I would like to be but I’ve been working on accepting my body the way it is and having a healthier relationship with food. I eat healthy when I can, but I will also eat “junk” here or there. And most importantly I don’t beat myself up when I have the occasional “binge” (I just don’t make myself throw up now)

All the best to you and if you ever need to chat about it, feel free to message me.

 

Post # 8
Member
9058 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

coffeebean4444 :  Are you able to edit the title?  This should really have a trigger warning. Someone might wander in thinking it is about treatments etc and may not be in a position to handle what is being discussed. It is just the OP is such a broad tropic.

 

Post # 9
Member
11 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i was once diagnosed of having symptomps of anorexia 5 years ago. i would just eat a loaf of wheat bread for the whole day, a cup of black coffee or green tea for breakfast, munching on romaince lettuce the whole day for snacks. on top of not eating much, i worked out like a mad woman. i can go to the gym for a 2 hours of weight-lifting session and then continue with boxing after that, and still not eating after workout. yes i did lose a lot of pounds, but then my ovulation cycle wasn’t normal, my hair fall worsen and my skin color looks so pale. often having a headache while standing up after squating and so on, but i’m quite good now. still working out on which exercise and figuring out my eating routine right now.

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