(Closed) What are your "house rules?"

posted 5 years ago in Home
Post # 46
Member
1294 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I’d rather clean the toilet than do dishes. I’d rather fold laundry than take it alllllll the way downstairs and alllllll the way back up. (It’s only a split foyer, but my basement is dark and scary 🙁 )

I think the only chores my Fiance has are cleaning the cat box, doing dishes, doing laundry, and taking out the trash. I take care of the kid, gather up dirty laundry, fold the fresh laundry, clean the kitchen and bathroom, gather up the trash and get it ready to go out…

We typically do a “deep clean” once a week or so too, and just take care of our own messes in the mean time.

Post # 47
Member
6925 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

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juliaGG:  lol! DH does that all-the-time. I think he rather put an empty jar/box/bottle in the fridge than throwing it away.

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Hodgy527:  We don’t have a lot of house rules, but since he gets home late from work, I tell him to make sure he locks the door. I also keep telling him not to leave his clothes and shoes all over the house and to make the bed if he is the last one to wake up. We don’t have a list of chores each one does because when I tried to do that, it didn’t work out. Instead, we live day by day. Sometimes, he will feel like making breakfast or even lunch. Other days I do all meals. DH helps me with dishes sometimes, takes out the trash and does whatever else I tell him to do. I don’t do yard work (well only a little). He enjoys doing it and gardening, so I know once I start helping him, he will expect me to cut the lawn etc. I do a lot of things inside the house, so I don’t want to add an extra job to my list of house work. Communication is key. 

Post # 48
Member
6925 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

Oh I forgot, since we have two cats and I am pregnant, DH does the litter every day. Also, no dishes left on tables or counters because cats jump and can break them and get hurt. No food must be left unattended and only if covered can it be outside refrigerator. Cats really change how things work at home, but it’s all for their safety and well being. We have two rooms we are not using and doors remain closed; otherwise, these cats will destroy everything we have in there. 

Post # 49
Member
6925 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018

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SilvanArrow:  This is a good point about A/C. Both DH and I are energy savers, so we turn on the A/C in the summer moderately (not all day long thing) unless it’s over 100 F outside. Also, we like to have a small floor heater for the winter. Now with baby coming, things are sure going to be different, but I am happy DH and I agree in our comfort levels when it comes to the use of A/C especially since we live in a hot and humid place.

Post # 50
Member
2803 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

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MangoBreezy:  I have tried and failed for years to teach Fiance to lock the doors! He used to make an attempt at our old house since we lived in the city, but we were robbed twice… both times the doors were unlocked. We moved to the suburbs last year and he will leave our side door, front door, and sliding glass door all unlocked. I feel like I spend half my time locking doors. 

OP if the apartment is tiny, I would suggest making sure that everything has a place and you both know where things go. Putting things back in their place when you are done with them will help eliminate clutter and keep things neat. In a small place, even a few items out of place are going to seem like a mess. 

Post # 51
Member
599 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Charleston, SC

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Hodgy527:  scheduling is big for my Fiance and I. As in, I want to know when he’s running late and he wants to know my work schedule. If you both have regular 9-5 type jobs, this might not be a big thing, but definitely the coming home late thing! He’s not used to having to let someone know If he got called into 3 extra meetings that day. 

Honestly, the things that cause “problems” for Fiance and I aren’t things like who does what chore or gets what space. We’re pretty good at picking up slack when the other is busy/tired/cranky. Its small things like he hates when I rearrange the countertops or that I sometimes feed the dog human food, and I can’t stand when he doesn’t rinse his dishes or leaves beard hairs all over the bathroom sink. 

Basically, as important as ground rules are, the biggest thing is keeping lines of communication open and not being afraid to speak up if something doesn’t work for you! It can be be awkward to ask for things when you first live together, but the worst that’s going to happen is you have to work out a compromise. 

Post # 52
Member
46 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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MeandMyLouboutins:  A lot of Americans wear shoes in the house, I think it’s disgusting! We often have guests over who don’t ever take their shoes off when they come in and I feel rude telling them to, but I really shouldn’t have to say anything!

Post # 53
Member
30 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Talk about chores is a must. Though if we see something is dirty whoever notices just cleans it. We aren’t very messy people so we don’t mind. He usually cleans now because I work so much and don’t have time, but once we move I’ll do most of the cleaning because I won’t have a job right away. 

My big one is replacing water bottles/sodas when you take one from the fridge! I hate it when he just takes one and doesn’t put in another to replace it because then I’ll open it wanted a nice cold drink and there aren’t any. Eww room temperature soda.

Post # 54
Member
6518 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

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Hodgy527:  no tv in the bedroom. I was raised in a home where there was only 1 tv and it was in he living room so it was a way to get the family to all watch something together, or my sister and i would get our tv time and then our parents would get their tv time when they were watching an adult movie (scary movie or something that had nudity). 

We also made it a point to split the chores. We didnt dictate or designate who does what, we just do what needs to be done. 

Post # 55
Member
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Hahaha um menmylaboutins asked me why we don’t lock doors to rooms inside our house — I guess my question is why would we?

We both grew up in homes where we had this rule, which is especially important for kids. In our family, locked doors are considered both rude (it basically says “keep out, I hate you and I need to forcibly stop you from entering”) and dangerous. I think people in a family should always be able to enter any room if necessary, especially in the case of emergency. Locks can malfunction or keys can get lost and people, especially kids, can be trapped.

We hardly ever even close doors, but closing a door is all that’s ever needed for privacy since you should knock or ask before coming in. Either of us would feel pretty offended if our partner felt the need to lock us out of a room.

It’s not that one of us decreed that doors shall never be locked and the other must comply, but it’s a family rule that we both agree on.

Post # 56
Member
255 posts
Helper bee

I agree with PP that most of this will come naturally; however, you may want to ask your SO if he has any home-type “dealbreakers” (I use this word with a twinge of comedy). I recently moved in with SO and learned he really, really does NOT like my hairdryer plugged in when it’s not in use lol.

When I asked why, it’s because he’s afraid it’s going to magically turn on and burn the house down; umm ok. But thats such a small request for me to do to avoid friction and stress. Although I don’t understand, it isn’t a big deal for me to unplug and store when not in use.

If I hadn’t asked, I doubt I would have ever dreamed he’d hate the blowdryer plugged-in. 

Post # 57
Member
298 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Definitely split the chores! Fiance does most cooking, takes out trash, car maintenance and cleans out the fridge. I clean bathrooms, grocery shop and do laundry. We alternate dish washing and vacuuming (basically whoever gets to it first, although he will tell me in advance not to do the dishes because it’s his turn and he’ll do it at x time.) We have a shared grocery list app which I remind him to update the night before I go shopping. 

Fiance apparently doesn’t see facial hair trimmings, so he’s only allowed to shave in the guest room bathroom. Since I clean both bathrooms, I feel that’s pretty fair. 

If you don’t already, start watching each other’s shows. If Fiance wants to watch sports all day, he’ll either warn me in advance or move to the bedroom, which has a smaller TV. Usually I just ignore the TV and read. 

Post # 58
Member
760 posts
Busy bee

Just make sure there’s an even division of chores or at least you communicate when you think either partner is slacking. There’s nothing worse than doing housework to have your partner mess it up and not even consider that the house doesn’t magically clean itself!

Post # 59
Member
6036 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2019 - City, State

 

Hodgy527:  laundry always has a place. Both when dirty and clean. A small space can get cluttered easily so this was a “house rule” fo rme when I first moved in with someone. When you’re clothes are dirty they go in the hamper, not the floor, towels have their own hamper as well, and when clothes are clean they get put away right away not left stacked in a basket or on a bed or something.

Post # 60
Member
8990 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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Hodgy527:  (1) always put the toilet lid down (he came pre-trained on that one thankfully!) (2) put the mail in the same spot so bills don’t get lost (3) make extra effort to be nice to each other and everything will get done and no one will feel taken advantage of. 

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