- 6 years ago
- Wedding: April 2012
So my SO works 10 hours a day. He’s a loyal, hard working, and dedicated employee. I admire him for that. He’s very Type B, laid back, simple, non-materialistic, and nothing at all bothers him. He also cannot multi-task. I’m not.
When I met him he didn’t own a vacuum, only had paper plates and plastic utensils, didn’t own a mirror… you get my drift. He only ate take-out. Because he worked so much. I’ve recently moved in and we’re trying to get my stuff to fit in his place along with his and he’s had the last year to clean it. He never got around to it..Because he worked too much. Finally I got fed up and just started tossing things. I found boxes of receipts, for things like a roll of toilet paper from 2004, piled to the ceiling in 30 gallon boxes in one closet, 4 broken computers, 9 cans of paint, birthday cards from 1993. I felt like I was in an episode of Hoarders. He just ‘never got around to going through it’. His toilet has been broken for a while and finally 2 months ago it overflowed (he never had a chance to fix it because, yup, worked too much) and it destroyed the floor. The floor is now standing 7 inches vertically like a pyramind in the middle of the room. For 2 months. The floor still has not been fixed. Because he works too much.
I take vitamin B for energy and had him start taking it so he might be able to get some things around the house done when he gets home but he never remembers to take it and I’m tired of nagging and I’m tired of being his maid. When I moved in he had no microwave. He didn’t have a lot of things that people usually need to live a decent life and I had to go and buy them alone. We have no dishwasher, so I do the dishes. If I want to eat, I cook for myself because he’s too tired after work to cook so he just stops and gets take out every night, or I get fat because I eat take-out with him. I’ve tried to get him to come work out with me, because I think if he was healthier he would feel better, but he doesn’t have any time for that. He joined a gym 6 months ago, so I know he wants to, but he hasn’t gone once.
So bees, how do you motivate a man who works so much so that his life isn’t just work and sleep. I know it is possible. I have friends that live well rounded lives that work these many hours and they have kids, go on vacation, and have a normal healthy family life. Sure he has the weekends and we hang out together, but he uses those to rewind from the long week and doesn’t want to spend it doing chores. I feel like I’m in this time warp where we’re getting nothing accomplished unless I do it and it’s exhausting. The house isn’t the only issue we have with these kind of things. When we were trying to book our honeymoon and he never got around to buying the plane tickets because he was busy at work and when I went to buy them, the flight was sold out.
And if you mention therapy, I’m already signed up. I’d like him to come with, and he’s agreed. He’s just got to find time to fit it in his schedule………