Post # 1
Hey favorite bees!
Since you’re my favorite bees, I thought I’d ask: how many of you consider your career to be the Most Important Thing? How many of you have shifting priorities, like when the rest of your life is fine then work becomes what you focus on, and how many focus on work when everything else is going poorly? And how do you think this affected/affects you as a waiting bee?
I’m curious if there are any patterns to be found here!
Post # 3
I focus more on my kids vs my job. I’m 38, divorced with 2 beautiful kids. My kids always come first before anything. I only see them 50% of the time, so I put in 110% quality of time when I’m with them.
Post # 4
I consider my work to be one of my top priorities. I’m a grad student, and an aspiring academic, and it is work that does not much wait for personal issues. It also can go nearly anywhere with me, and gets me through rough patches. I can recount my life to date based on what books I was reading, whose theories I was working with at the time. My vacations revolve around research projects. My family and my SO are really high on my list, and often edge out my work when it really counts. I would never blow off my parents when they needed me in favour of reading or something. But as far as day-to-day life, my work gets the lion’s share of my emotional and mental energy, which is an arrangement that my SO agreed upon before we moved in together. But he jokes that he’s looking forward to being my Russian househusband, so it all works.
As far as impacting being a waiting bee, it gives me something to focus on. The engagement and the wedding are not the most important things in my life. Having a partner who will cheerfully listen to me complain about early church fathers and their incomprehensible Latin is. So the work keeps me grounded when it comes to the personal stuff that would otherwise throw me, and he keeps me grounded when the work is making me insane. That’s the ideal kind of balance, I think, and I’m dreadfully lucky to have it.
Post # 5
I would say work is my main focus….than again I am a workaholic and as my SO says I am married to my work, but in all honesty my work is my passion, and I do what I love. But truely I tend to focus on my career job, not so much on my other part-time jobs…those are pretty mindless and don’t require as much focus.
Post # 6
I’m currently in school and spend an insane amount of time dedicated to my future career, but I’d rather pick up trash the rest of my life and be with SO than have an amazing career without him.
Post # 7
@MariaW: I consider my family, friends the Most Important Thing, everything else is fodder
Post # 8
I’d say for many years my career was extremely important to me, perhaps even more than I knew. Based on time spent and what was on my mind the most, it was the key focus for me for probably 6 or 7 years.
I still love my career and feel extremely blessed to to have an amazing, steady job during tough economic times. However, based on time spent and thought focus now, I’d say my amazing boyfriend is top earthly priority for me at this point. He knows that I rarely took a full day off (even weekends and holidays) before, so he really appreciates seeing how much I value him now, and one of the ways I show that is by purposely not working obsessively. Life is too short to miss out on amazing relationships! (But, I’ll always love coming to work in the morning. :))
Post # 10
Throughout college and for a few years out of college, I was very career oriented and driven to achieve, be promoted, etc. I am 28 (turning 29 in March) now and after working in the corporate world (finance) for 6 years, my focus has definitely shifted towards building a life and family with my husband. We’ve been married for 1.5 years, and I would say the shift in my priorities was after we got engaged. I was always a high performer at work, but it just wasn’t very fulfilling after awhile. I was promoted a few times, and the additional responsibilities and salary increase was nice, but at the end of the day I just didn’t feel the same about my career as I did right out of college. Maybe burnout and just realizing that I valued my hobbies and relationships more.
I make a six figure salary now, but just putting a lot less emphasis on work and letting achievements in my career define me (which I did in my early 20s). I guess it’s just a mind set since my performance hasn’t really changed at work, I just put a lot less stress on myself in terms of career. I definitely put my husband and family (hopefully soon!) first, and am considering becoming a sahm once we have kids. I guess at the end of the day, being a great wife is much more fulfilling than the six figure job I have!
Post # 12
@MariaW: I wouldn’t say my job is my be-all, end-all. However… it’s kind of hard to say because without my job I’d be pretty screwed… I couldn’t take care of my cat, my SO and I wouldn’t have the lifestyle we have now, etc. I don’t really worry about my job outside the 9-5 hours, though.
I work to survive. I don’t particularly love what I do, but I take pride in my work and like to do a good job. It’s a good job, I am just not passionate about it.
If it came down to it, I’d put my SO ahead of my job.. like if something happened and I had to care for him or something. But then again, you need money to survive… so maybe working is the best thing I could do for him (he works too and makes a lot more $$ than I do).
Now, I have always wanted to have my own company… I would work much longer hours, but I still would put my SO first. I would imagine it would ebb and flow, though… some weeks being busier than others etc.
Post # 13
I’d say my SO and my future family are my top priorities, even at this point. I do what I do now to give my family a great life some day. If SO were to want to pack up and move across the country, I’d leave behind my career here in a heartbeat.
My job and education (working toward my master’s right now) are high up on my list currently. But my ultimate dream is to have a wonderful family, a happy marriage, and a comfortable home, and to be a SAHM, which is why I’m working hard now. It’s also a nice distraction during this waiting period. 🙂
And honestly, I really don’t have much of a desire to spend the next 40 years at a 9-5 desk job. It makes me cringe really.
Post # 14
My family, my SO, my health and my job are the most important things.